Fight for this Love
by Amethystbutterflies
Summary: It's easy to fall in love and just as easy to fall out of love, but what about still being madly in love, but not being able to stay together? AU Janto
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: My muse refuses too let me write anything else at the moment, and when the muse demands, I must obey. This story is a lot different from my normal stuff, so I hope you enjoy it, as much as I am having fun writing it:)**_

_**Special thanks to my super, special, awesome, beta Rietta, for her hard-work, constant encouragement and smacking Ianto round the head when he needs it XD, Love you, hun.**_

_**Please let me know what you think :)**_

**Chapter 1- Take a look at us now.**

**1 week ago.**

"I don't care. I am sick of coming home every day, fearing that I'm going to find you in bed with someone."

Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Ianto, you know I have never been unfaithful, so what the hell has brought this on?"

Ianto looked sceptical for a moment, eyebrow raised nearly to his hairline and a frown upon his face.

"Jack..."

"No, Ianto." Jack shook his head, "You can't come home, accuse me and then refuse to talk about it- I demand you tell me what the fuck is going on!"

"It's nothing I can't handle."

"Oh yes, because coming home every other night and accusing me of being with another person is dealing with it. I thought you trusted me."

Ianto looked over at Jack as he booted up the computer and logged in. "You know I do."

"You have a funny way of showing it. We've been together ten years Ianto, in a civil partnership for four of those years... talk to me."

Ianto opened his mouth, took a deep breath and then mumbled something so quietly that Jack had to strain to hear him.

"I'm sorry?" he asked.

"I said, I'm not good enough for you." Ianto snapped.

Jack's eyes widened and he was next to Ianto in three strides. "Where the hell did you get that ridiculous notion?"

Ianto looked at Jack. "So now I'm ridiculous."

"No!" Jack snarled. "You are everything to me, the reason I wake up in the morning and the reason I sleep easier at night. You are the person I stood in front of family and friends with and vowed to be with forever. You are Ianto Jones, and I bloody love you."

Ianto stared into Jack's eyes and Jack smiled slightly. "You're my little coffee bean."

Ianto had been doing so well, he didn't cry often, but he couldn't help the sob that erupted from his chest when Jack called him that; it had been so long since they had even hugged properly. He leaned forward and kissed Jack soundly on the lips.

"I've missed you," Ianto sobbed as he continued to kiss the man before him. He felt Jack kiss him back and let himself be guided to the bedroom; he was vaguely aware of the computer shutting down, but he didn't care, work could wait.

"Ianto." He heard Jack's voice and met his eyes. Seeing Jack's eyes wet with tears he knew this wasn't over, but he allowed himself to be guided to the bed. Jack surprised Ianto by lying down on the bed and pulling Ianto down to his side so that they curled around each other. There was no kissing, but this was something that had been missing from their relationship this last few weeks.

"Let me ask again," Jack smiled. "Talk to me."

**Present.**

"Can we _please_ stop trying to kill each other?" Jack pleaded as he and Ianto stood at opposite ends of the room, arguing again- it seemed to have become a favourite pastime of theirs in the past few weeks. "Let's stop accusing and actually talk about this."

Ianto inhaled sharply, taking a deep breath and calming himself, then nodded his head. Then he asked quietly: "Can you remember the last time we did something with each other- not a family party or a night out with friends, but just something for us?"

Jack thought for a moment, and then cast his mind back, finally finding the memory of the holiday in 'Costa del sol' over a year ago.

When Jack didn't answer straight away, Ianto took his chance. "When was the last time we had sex, Jack?"

Jack smiled. "Sunday."

Ianto nodded. "When did we last make love?"

Jack closed his eyes. "Just after you got the promotion in the office, we shared a bath and I gave you a massage."

Ianto nodded and allowed his eyes to skim the room, freezing suddenly. Something was out of place: there were cards on the mantelpiece and a neat pile of wrapping paper and envelopes on the coffee table, where Jack had been sat. Ianto felt his heart sink.

"Shit."

Jack looked up and caught his eye. "Remembered, have you?"

Ianto nodded, his stomach twisting in knots, and he felt the guilt eat him up. "I'm sorry."

Jack shook his head. "When was the last time _I_ forgot _your_ birthday, Ianto?"

"Never."

"And when was the last time I actually made you feel like shit on your birthday?"

"Never."

Jack shook his head and moved to the table, holding up a wooden photo frame that had been decorated with paints and felt tips. In the frame was a picture from Jack and Ianto's civil partnership, Ianto holding a little girl on his hip and Jack with a little boy in his arms. "From David and Mica."

Ianto bit back tears as he noticed the writing on the bottom of the frame. 'Happy Birthday Uncle Jack'. Ianto looked at the clock, and then back at Jack.

"Come on," he grabbed Jack's arms.

Jack looked at him. "What?"

"It's only six-thirty- I'll buy you tea, just me and you. We've both fucked up these last few weeks; we need the time together, and I can start making it up to you for forgetting today."

Jack looked at Ianto. "We're both still in our work stuff."

"And?"

"And we both stink."

"And?"

"After the fight we've just had, I really don't want to go out."

Ianto felt his shoulders slump and he noticed how exhausted Jack looked. "Let me cook then?"

Jack smiled. "Bean, why don't we just order takeout and crash on the sofa with 'Independence Day' and relax?"

Ianto smiled. "Whatever you want." Then he froze. "You called me 'Bean'."

Jack chuckled. Their fight was by no means over, but Jack knew now was not the time or the place. He didn't want to fight on his birthday, and he knew Ianto didn't either, now that he'd remembered.

Ianto placed an order for Chinese to be delivered and then they both made use of the two bathrooms their house offered before changing into pyjamas. Ianto came out to find Jack sat on the sofa, his eyes closed and his breathing even. He smiled and just looked at Jack; it had been so long since he'd done that. He was still as gorgeous as ever, Ianto noted, even now, on his twenty-ninth birthday.

"You're thinking." Jack's voice was loud in the quiet room.

Ianto chuckled. "Sure you're not psychic?"

Jack tilted his head back. "Positive."

Sinking onto the sofa beside Jack, Ianto leant over and kissed him chastely on the mouth. "I'm sorry."

Jack smiled. "We still need to talk, but not today. We'll deal with it; we can't go on like this, we're just going to push each other away."

Ianto nodded. "I'll make it up to you; forgetting, I mean."

Jack chuckled. "I don't doubt that."

One week later, despite their promise to talk, it had never happened; and again they found themselves in foul moods with one another. Jack had been working from home, whilst Ianto had come home at lunch time. It had been a rather pleasant lunch break: the two men spent time re-connecting and chatting as Jack made them both sandwiches whilst Ianto took care of the coffee. It was like old times as they moved around the kitchen, sharing touches and soft kisses... until Ianto had noticed the still full washing machine.

"You've been working from home, Jack! You could at least have emptied the washing machine!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "When? When I was having a four way conference call? When I was making a deal with one of the other highly influential companies in America?"

"How about when you got out of bed this morning? I'd have done it myself but I was in work at seven."

Jack rolled his eyes and refused to speak, which Ianto must have taken as Jack not caring because he stood up, grabbed his coat, and stormed out the flat, muttering about 'inconsiderate partners' and cursing a blue streak in Welsh. Jack _did_ empty the washing machine, the instant Ianto had walked out and whilst on the phone to another highly influential company, this time in Tokyo.

When Ianto came home that night, he had decided to not even mention it to Jack, figuring he had been a bit of an idiot. He planned to go home and talk it out while he cooked them a nice dinner. He walked in and noticed Jack was sat on the sofa; this time, he was on the phone, so he walked past Jack and into the kitchen, smiling when he noticed that Jack had emptied the washing machine. He tried to curb his temper when he saw the dishes from lunchtime soaking in the sink, and he knew he should at least appreciate that Jack had been working on several phone calls, all probably long and wearisome, but he snapped. For once in his life... he flipped. He heard Jack hang up the phone and he all but growled:

"Do you not _know_ how to wash a fucking dish, Harkness?"

Jack jumped as if he'd been scalded. "Hi honey!" he snapped. "Nice day at the office?"

"Don't fucking start, I've had a long day at work, and I come home and find I have a partner that can't even wash a dish from_ seven_ hours ago!"

Jack sighed and leant back. "I'm never going to be good enough for you, am I? If it's not the fact that I have apparently cheated on you, or the fact that we haven't done anything for _each_ other, it's the bloody fact that I don't fold my shirts _exactly_ the same as you or that I don't wash dishes as soon as I've finished with them, or the fact that I don't empty the _fucking_ washing machine when I'm _working_ from home! What more do you want from me?" Jack almost begged, he could feel the tears behind his eyelids. "You're like a completely different man! I don't know this you! What happened the Ianto Jones I fell in love with?"

"He grew up!" Ianto snapped. "He learnt how to run around after a person who is meant to be his partner but acts like a fucking three year old and a walking tornado..."

Jack stared, this really wasn't the man he fell in love with, this was... If aliens existed he'd swear blind Ianto had been possessed. Fighting back tears he snarled: "The only person who could keep you happy, Jones, is you! Good luck finding him, because unless you can clone legally (and if I remember correctly, you can't) then that's the only way you'll find happiness in this world. I'm done!" He slammed his laptop closed, grabbed his wallet and phone and headed for the door, grabbing his coat as he passed the coat rack.

"I fucking love you, Jones, and I always will. But you can expect to hear from my lawyer in the next week." He let the door slam on his way out.


	2. Chapter 2

**AN- WOW, thank you so much for all the reviews on the first chapter, I was blown away by the response. Thank you so much!**

**So, I owe a massive thank you to Rietta, for her never ending patience with me and this fic and also for the epic weekend in Cardiff, the Adipose plushy and sending Owen whenever I need him:)**

**This chapter is dedicated to all those who reviewed the last chapter! Rietta, ForestSprite,Wanda1969, Specialfrancine, black59, whitecrossgirl, PCjanto, Lesleigh and TWIantoJones. Thank you all so much! Let me know what you think!**

**Chapter 2 – I wish I could just make you turn around.**

"_I fucking love you, Jones, and I always will._ _But you can expect to hear from my lawyer in the next week."_

As the door slammed shut behind Jack, Ianto slumped onto the sofa. His heart was pounding in his ears and he suddenly felt sick. He closed his eyes and leant his head back on the couch, suddenly feeling very cold. He ran to the bedroom and stripped to his underpants, grabbing his jogging bottoms that he had adopted as sleepwear in the last few weeks. He pulled a hoodie from the draws and yanked it over his head, then dove under the covers shivering as the words Jack had shouted at him hit home.

"_I fucking love you, Jones, and I always will._ _But you can expect to hear from my lawyer in the next week."_

Pulling Jack's pillow from the other side of the bed, he inhaled his partner's scent. "What have I done?" he choked as he began to sob into the pillow. He could hear phrases from arguments in the last few weeks echoing around his head. He knew forgetting Jack's birthday had hurt the other man but he hadn't had the _time_ to make it up to Jack yet.

"Fuck," he groaned as he realised that was the issue... they just hadn't had the time for each other. Crying, albeit more quietly now, Ianto thought back to a time when life was a bed of roses.

**19****th**** August 2004**

Ianto and Tosh laughed as Gwen and Rhys placed the cake on the table in front of them. Owen was grinning from ear to ear as Tosh started to sing loudly.

"Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday to you! Happy Birthday dear Ianto; Happy Birthday to you!" Ianto was laughing, but it was easy to see the sadness in his eyes and Owen smirked over in the corner, obviously plotting in his own mind.

Looking around the room, Ianto knew there was only one person who could make this impromptu party complete. As if sensing his sadness, Tosh and Gwen had hugged him from either side chanting: "For he's a jolly good fellow! For he's a jolly good fellow!, For he's a jolly good fellow, which nobody can deny!"

Then came the knock at the door. Ianto had risen to answer it, and he'd completely missed the smiles on his friends' faces. He'd opened the door and upon seeing Jack on the other side, he would swear blind in years to come that the noise he emitted was a 'manly expression of happiness', but really, he knew it was some kinds of girlish squeak.

"Jack, what are you doing here? You should be in Japan!"

"And miss your birthday? No thanks."

Ianto laughed. "It's only my twenty-third!"

Jack smiled and kissed Ianto tenderly. "You are more important than work. I cleared my diary for the next two days, I fly back out on Monday."

"You didn't have to." Ianto grinned, happiness flowing from him.

"I'll always make time for you. I love you."

**Present.**

Ianto buried his face in the pillows and groaned. "Way to fuck it up, Jones."

It was rather suddenly that particular part of the phrase Jack had snarled at him as he left metaphorically slapped him in the face, and he bolted upright in bed, his breathing harsh and tears on his cheeks.

"... _But you can expect to hear from my lawyer in the next week."_

"... _But you can expect to hear from my lawyer in the next week."_

"..._But you can expect to hear from my lawyer in the next week."_

_

* * *

_Jack Harkness closed his eyes as the door slammed shut behind him, and on the life he had spent so long building, working on and trying to save in the last few weeks. He heard Ianto stumble from the room and was almost tempted to go and check on him, but he didn't want to get into another argument. He heard silence fall in the flat and pushed off the wall, walking down the steps and out into the night.

It took him almost an hour and a half to walk to Owen and Tosh's in the pouring rain. He hadn't rushed over, it was early; but when he knocked on the door, he found himself with an armful of Tosh.

"Ianto's been frantic looking for you! Where the hell have you been?"

"I... Ianto's been worried?" Jack was confused.

"Yes!" Tosh sighed. "Said you two had had another fight and you had walked out... He… he said he was worried that you were going to get a dissolution."

Jack raised his head to Tosh. "I am."

Tosh's eyes widened. "Jack, what's happened?"

Jack raised his eyes to Tosh's and felt his own fill with tears. "We hide it well, but we've been fighting constantly, save for the odd moment, for about five weeks now... I can't do it anymore."

"Isn't he worth fighting for?"

"What do you think I've been doing for _five_ weeks?"

"For god's sake love, give the guy a break! Crack open the good stuff and let me kick his arse at poker." Owen Harper, Tosh's husband, said.

"He should be at home with Ianto, trying to work this out!" Tosh looked affronted.

"Honey, one conversation whilst they're both wound up isn't going to sort out what is going on: six _months_ of problems."

"But..."

"The arguments have only been the last five weeks," Jack explained with a sigh, then he raised his eyes. "But he's been distancing himself from me for about six months now..."

"Why?"

"I dunno," Jack groaned. "Fucking his new receptionist...?"

"Jack!" Tosh snapped. "Ianto wouldn't do that to you."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Don't defend him to me, Tosh, I'm not in the mood." He sat back on the sofa and accepted the glass Owen handed to him, which was more than half-full of Famous Grouse.

"Poker?" Owen offered, holding out a deck of cards.

Jack laughed. "How about we play something a little less taxing? I don't think my brain can handle poker right now."

"Rummy?"

"That'll do," Jack laughed, settling himself down on the floor opposite Owen. He noticed Tosh smile sadly, and felt a hand brush through his hair. He leant into the touch briefly then he heard Tosh leave the room, no doubt to call Ianto.

* * *

Ianto was pacing the flat when the phone rang. He dropped the empty glass he was holding and dove for the receiver, snatching it off its cradle before it had finished its first ring.

"Hello?" he asked, trying to sound like he hadn't just finished training for the ballet.

"_Ianto?_"

"Tosh!" he gasped.

"_Yeah, listen, I figured you'd want to know Jack turned up here about twenty minutes ago. He's upset, but Owen's distracting him with Famous Grouse and Rummy._"

Ianto breathed a sharp sigh of relief. "Can I speak to him?"

"_I don't know if that's a good idea, he's pretty peeved off._"

"Please, Tosh, I just want to tell him I love him."

"_Hang on_."

Toshiko Sato had never let her friend down before, and she wasn't about to start now. Setting the phone down on the hall table, she opened the living room door and sighed. Jack and Owen had stopped playing and instead Owen was staring at Jack who had his head in his hands.

"Jack," she called. He looked up at her and tilted his head to the side. "Ianto wants to speak to you."

Jack inhaled sharply and for a second, she thought he was going to refuse. Instead, he climbed to his feet and went out into the hall, picking up the phone as he passed the table.

"_Ianto_," he sighed into the phone.

"Jack..." The relief Jack heard in that one word was tangible. "Look, I know right now you don't want to talk to me, but I just... I needed to tell you- I love you. I know I haven't told you in a ridiculous amount of time… I mean, I've told you when I was apologising for forgetting your birthday, but I've not told you... spontaneously or without being prompted for so long... I know this was prompted by the argument. But Jack... I needed to tell you. I love you; I love you so much..."

Jack closed his eyes. The lone tear on his cheek told Tosh that Jack was touched by what Ianto had done, but that he was hurting a _lot_ more than any 'I love you' could fix. She was shocked when he answered Ianto, his voice cracking as he spoke.

"I love you too. But I meant what I said. I'm tired, Ianto. I can't do this anymore... I can't argue; I can't take the accusations, the loneliness... It hurts. I'll come round and we'll speak about it before I see a lawyer... And maybe you can talk me out of it when I've cooled down, but it's hurting me, Ianto... and we promised we'd never do that to each other." That said, Jack placed the receiver back into the base unit, and walked back into the front room.

* * *

Staring at the phone, Ianto was not surprised at all when the tears he had had in his eyes throughout the conversation fell onto his hands. He was still not making any movement other than to remind himself to keep breathing, even though it felt like his heart was being ripped from his chest. Was this how Jack had been feeling these last few weeks?

He inhaled sharply through his nose, a plan quickly forming in his head: he was not going to give Jack up without a fight, and unless Jack _really_ wanted the dissolution he was going to do everything he could to make it up to the American, the love of his life.

Picking the phone up again, he dialled the number of the one person he figured could help him out. Waiting as the phone rang, he began to run through how to explain the situation to his friend. He heard the familiar Welsh vowels on the other end of the phone and smiled.

"Rhys, it's Ianto. I've fucked up and I need you're help."

"_Well it's about time..."_

Ianto was rather stunned fifteen minutes later when he hung up the phone and realised that out of all their friends, HE was the only person who hadn't seen how much Jack had been affected. And he was determined to fix it.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN- A massive thank you too everyone who has been reading the story so far, I love seeing your responses. I don't think this needs a tissue warning, but I got a but teary when writing it initially, so I put this here.**

**A Massive thank you to Rietta, for her hard work with this chapter, and we apologise for it being nigh on two hours late. Rietta has been fantastic throughout the course of this story, especially, because in the early days, when I had the basic plot, she didn't like it much, until I explained the whole thing. So, my dear, this one is entirely for you, because you're Fantastic, Fantastic, Fantastic!**

**Massive thank you to all the reviewers, you're a pillar of strength and make me write XD**

Chapter 3 – Coming back to me.

It was only when Ianto was on the phone to Rhys for the fifth time that weekend that he remembered. Just ten weeks before Jack's birthday they had been out shopping and Jack had mentioned that his watch was getting battered. He pulled out his brief case from underneath the bed and smiled, rummaging through it until he found a receipt crumpled into the pocket and a business card. Saying a prayer that just maybe the watchmaker would still have the watch, Ianto dialled his number and waited for the phone to be picked up. Several minutes later, Ianto found himself running out of the door and heading to the watchmaker's. Apparently, the man had been worrying about why Ianto hadn't been in to collect the watch and was thinking of calling him, despite his request not to.

Entering the shop forty minutes later, Ianto found himself in a cozy room which he now remembered; it smelt like wood and something else he couldn't quite determine.

"Hello, Mr Jones, I'm glad everything's okay. I would hate to think that something had happened to the man that you spent so much money on."

Ianto smiled. "Something has happened but I'm determined to make it right."

His brown hair in his face, the shop owner smiled and moved in front of Ianto. "If he's worth fighting for then don't stop because at the end of the day, real love is where you count not the amount of breaths you take but the moments that take your breath away'."

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "You're quoting greetings cards at me."

Smiling, the man handed over the watch and accepted Ianto's card to complete the payment. "Well, did it work?"

Ianto placed his debit card back into his wallet, picked up the box and nodded. "It did, thank you."

"Anytime. Now, _allons-y_, Mr Jones."

"See you around, Mr Smith."

* * *

Jack entered his and Ianto's flat at six-thirty that evening. He was startled by the amount of softly glowing candles around the room and he could smell Ianto's famous steak pie cooking in the oven.

"Ianto?" he called, wondering where his- could he still called him 'husband'?- was.

"Through here." The Welsh accent, tinged with the sound of recent tears, was enough for Jack to rush to the kitchen. He found Ianto perched at the breakfast bar, his eyes red and puffy and two glasses of wine in front of him: one was half empty; the other seemed to be waiting for Jack to drink it.

"You alright?" Jack felt awkward, like a kid on his first venture into finding mates and attempting to act cool, but failing.

Ianto shrugged his shoulders despondently. "You?"

"That's not answering my question."

"What do you want me to say? That I'm great? That I had the best day ever when I found out that I had actually ordered you a birthday present, but had forgotten all about it?"

Jack flinched. "I don't want to argue."

"No, you're right; we've done enough of that."

Jack nodded as Ianto hefted himself tiredly out of his chair and moved to stand before Jack. Not saying anything, Ianto reached out and wrapped his arms round Jack holding on tightly. He knew tonight would either make or break their relationship and he was determined to make up for all the mistakes he had made in the last few months. He'd been careless; he'd become complacent; he'd taken Jack for granted and he was determined to make up for that.

Jack held Ianto close, he breathed in the Welshman's scent and smiling as the familiar aroma wafted around him: coffee, mint and cleaning detergent that smelled like melon. They released each other slowly, both reluctant to move to far away from each other.

"How about now?" Jack smiled gently, the first _true _smile that weekend.

"Bit better." Ianto smiled back. "I made steak pie... Would you like some?"

Jack smiled. "Why not?"

"Why don't you sit down? I'll bring it over. I was going to make a proper steak dinner but, well…" Ianto shrugged.

Jack nodded and moved to the dining area. For the first time he noticed the beautifully laid table, the still-warm crusty bread sat in the basket, and the wine bottle just off to the side. And then the _pi__è__ce de r__é__sistance_: in his usual place sat a small, carefully wrapped box. He sat in his chair and lifted the box, admiring the deep blue wrapping paper for a brief moment before wondering when his heart had climbed into his throat and decided to try and escape through his mouth.

"You can open it you know."

Jack looked up as Ianto placed two plates on the table. "Sure?"

"No Jack, I just placed a perfectly wrapped box in your place for you to admire the wrapping paper. I was thinking of decorating the bedroom in it. What do _you_ think?" Ianto rolled his eyes.

Jack chuckled: it was this kind of sarcasm that he missed from his partner. Ianto started- he had actually forgotten what Jack's laugh sounded like. He stared for a moment, and then let out a chuckle of his own. Ianto's facial expression caused Jack to snort, and before long they both found themselves laughing proper belly laughs _together._

_

* * *

_It wasn't until later that Jack opened the present. They hadn't spoken much as they'd eaten, but they both knew that they needed to talk, desperately. Their relationship of late had gone to the dumps; each causing the other pain, pain they had promised never to inflict upon one another.

"So, going to open it?"

Jack smiled. ""No, I'm just going to sit here and look at it all night- that's what you wanted me to do, isn't it?"

He reached for the box, tearing off the paper like a kid at Christmas. As he turned the box in his hand and caught the name of the watchmaker he paused, a sudden feeling of trepidation filled him.

"Ianto..."

Ianto smiled and nodded encouragingly. "Go on."

Jack opened the box and felt his breath catch in his throat. The watch snuggled in the box was exquisite. The platinum strap sparkled in the light and the face was deep blue with real diamond Roman numerals in place of ordinary numbers surrounded the edges.

"Turn it over," Ianto whispered.

Jack removed the watch from the box carefully, as if still marvelling at the beauty of it. He turned the watch over and felt his eyes well up at the engraving on the back. It was extraordinary, the words spiralling around the watch: _Soul meets soul on lover's lips._

Jack fought back a wave of tears and smiled at Ianto. "You said that in your vows."

Ianto nodded. "I did it before we started fighting. I had the watch made from scratch: the diamonds in the numerals are all genuine, and the watch is made to last- it should be scratch resistant and the strap is a two-way clasp; you have to push them down one at a time to get the watch to lock securely. To unfasten it, just push in this little button and it'll spring apart."

Jack smiled. "You really thought this through."

Ianto nodded. "I do love you, you know. I know I've been an arse, but I want this to work, Jack."

Jack nodded. "We do need to sit down and talk. We might argue and cry, and it might be that what we ultimately decide happens isn't what we truly want to do; but I want you to know that no matter what, I will _always _love you."

Ianto nodded. They did need to talk, to get everything they were feeling out in the open. But tonight? Tonight they were just Jack and Ianto.

"I love you," he whispered as he moved to kiss Jack gently on the lips.

"I love you too," Jack murmured. He leaned in and met Ianto's lips in a fiery kiss; a kiss unlike any they had shared in months. They pulled apart and stared at one another, each trying to decide what the other wanted.

Jack fully intended to let Ianto lead- the Welshman had spent so much time on this night and he wanted to see what else his partner had planned, wondering if they could keep the evening as perfect as it had been so far.

Staring into Jack's eyes, Ianto wondered just what he should do. There was a small part of him that wanted to grab Jack and drag him to the bedroom where they could shag like bunnies in heat till dawn; but he wanted them to really _make love_ again when they had nothing left to talk about. He only wanted love, trust and honesty in the room with him and Jack when they next slept together; and judging by Jack's reaction, so did his partner.

"There's so much I want to do… So much I want to say, but don't know how," he whispered.

Jack smiled gently and stroked a finger down Ianto's cheek, smiling at the familiar feeling that fluttered in his stomach as Ianto leaned into the touch.

"You know I'm not very good with words, Ianto." Jack smiled a little sadly. "But I think tonight, we need to... well, be normal: it's gonna be tough if we plan to make this work."

Ianto nodded. "Movie and ice cream then?"

"Ice cream out the tub?"

Ianto laughed. "But of course. You did say 'normal'…"

Jack's eyes lit up and Ianto felt his heart flutter. He had missed this side of Jack, and hadn't quite realised just how much until he had seen it again tonight. He only hoped that he'd continue to see it, and that tonight wouldn't be their last together. But if it was, he was determined to make the most of it.

"Chocolate or vanilla?"

Jack's laugh echoed through the flat. "Both!"

"Are you being greedy, Mr Harkness?"

Jack's face appeared around the door. "Like you'd have me any other way."

Ianto smiled soppily, their problems forgotten for the moment as their eyes met. "No, I wouldn't."


	4. Chapter 4

**AN- Well, now the plot thickens. I apologise for this chapter being a day late, but I got caught up in Christmas, (offers cookies).**

**I guess I better put a mild tissue warning here. It's time ladies and gentlemen...the talk is here...(hides)**

**Massive thank you to Rietta for her loyal dedication, hard work and friendship, I don't think I could have gotten through this year without her. **

**Thank you to everyone who is following this story:) Your support and encouragement keep me writing and plotting. I'll apologise to you all now, I go to Glasgow on 27/12 to see John Barrowman in Panto so the next chapter will probably be a little late, especially over New Year. I'll also take the time and the moment to say, **

**MERRY CHRISTMAS! NADOLIG LLAWEN!**

Chapter 4- How can I just let you walk away?

Jack woke up the next morning, his neck stiff from the awkward position he appeared to have fallen asleep in. He heard the quiet hum of the television in the background and unglued his eyes to find Ianto sprawled across his lap, eyes fluttering gently as he woke up.

"Morning," Jack mumbled, his throat dry from the alcohol the night before.

"Bora Da," Ianto groaned.

His partner chuckled. "It still amazes me that first thing in the morning with a hangover, Welsh is your language of choice."

"Not choice... instinct," Ianto grumbled. "Coffee?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

The both lay there for a few more minutes, gathering their wits. Seemingly at the same time, they suddenly realised what they had to do that day and shuddered. Ianto liked the idea that maybe they might forget the decision to get a dissolution was ever made and they could ignore it. However, it didn't take long for the grousing to start. They'd been awake for barely half an hour when Ianto had commented that Jack hadn't moved his briefcase from the spot he'd left it when he'd come home on Thursday. Then Jack had commented that Ianto hadn't given him _time_ to move it yesterday, and he had figured that their relationship was more important than a briefcase the night before.

In the kitchen, fifteen minutes later, Ianto was waiting for the coffee machine to finish making its own morning grumblings as it roasted the beans and the coffee poured from the spout into mugs he had placed underneath. Ianto added sugar and milk before taking one through to Jack. He set the cup down on the table with a jokey "Hope it chokes you." The line which would once upon a time have led to a massive round of vigorous make up sex now fell on deaf ears. A few seconds later, he tried again. "I love you."

This time, he got a response.

"I love you too. I just don't think I like this person you've become."

Ianto dropped onto the sofa. "I... Erm..." He found the words caught in his throat and cringed.

"Maybe this isn't for us," Jack continued and Ianto felt his heart stop. After all he had done yesterday...

"Last night didn't change anything then?"

"It's not that. Last night was the best night we've had in months. But look at us… We woke up this morning and within half an hour we were snapping at each other."

"Doesn't mean we can't work this out."

"Tell me how we fix it then, Ianto! Because I am clean out of 'fix it' options."

"We could talk more, maybe agree to disagree and compromise on different situations; share the housework and stop getting at each other over the slightest thing. We made that vow Jack, to be with each other till we die, and I'm not willing to throw it away over a handful of petty arguments."

"Arguments that you started."

Ianto felt his hackles rise. "Don't go blaming this all on me!"

Jack rolled his eyes. "I'm sorry, but mostly this _is_ your fault and I see no way to fix it. I am not going to change just because you demand I do."

"I'm not asking you to."

"It fucking seems like it." Jack switched his voice into a perfect imitation of Ianto's (Welsh accent included.) "Why can't you hang shirts like a _normal_ person? Clean up like I asked you to? Or take washing out when I put it in in the morning?"

Ianto couldn't think of a response. Instead, he moved to the window and looked down over the city. He found his voice, and rather than argue back (mainly because everything Jack had said was true) he asked a question weighing heavily on his mind. "You really want to go through with the dissolution then?"

Jack sighed. "Do you really think we can get past it?"

"Don't you think that what we have is worth fighting for?"

Jack snapped. "Will you stop answering my questions with other questions?"

"Yes, sir!" Ianto snapped off a salute for good measure.

"Don't call me Sir."

"I apologise, Master."

"I am _not_ Harold Saxon! That man is a psychopath- I don't care if the coffee in Human Resources is shite, it shouldn't be brought up in meetings that are worth _billions_ of pounds!"

"Plot, Jack…"

"Where were we?"

"You were professing your undying love for me by suggesting we get a dissolution."

"I'm not doing this to hurt you!"

"Well it fucking does Jack! I feel like my heart's being ripped out of my chest and stamped all over."

Jack bowed his head and moved to the window behind Ianto, both looking out over the bay. "It's hurting me too."

"Then why do it?" Ianto turned to face Jack, his eyes shining brightly with unshed tears.

"Because if we don't, we're just going to tear each other apart." Jack could feel his own tears fall down his cheeks but he ignored them.

"Please, Jack," Ianto begged. "Please, don't do this... please!"

"It's for the best."

"How is it? All it's doing is hurting us both!"

Jack closed his eyes and spoke, his voice barely a whisper. "I can't take the hurt anymore, all the accusations, the lies, the half truths and fighting... All the pain you've put me through these last few weeks... months... Do I deserve it?"

Ianto, to his credit, was ashamed, and looked suitably so, but Jack found that now he had started, everything he wanted to say to Ianto came bubbling to the surface and he couldn't stop. "Every time I've done something wrong, you've blown it out of proportion. I may not have the best manners in the world, like modern music and dress in fine suits for work. I might not wash the dishes or hoover when I work from home... because when I do work from home, I actually do _work_. I'm not perfect, nor have I ever professed to be so; and you should stop trying to be so damn perfect! It's not attractive, nor a likeable trait in any partner..."

Spent, Jack didn't dare look at Ianto. Instead, he rested his face in the palm of his hand and closed his eyes, the slight throbbing behind them informing him that he had a migraine coming on. He felt immensely guilty: he could hear Ianto's harsh sobs in front of him but there was a tiny part of him that just didn't care.

For Ianto, the truth of how deeply he had hurt Jack was not in the words that he had spoken (though granted, they had done a rather good job) but in his actions. Normally, when Ianto cried, Jack would make him hot chocolate; just as when Jack cried, Ianto would pour him a glass of Remi Martin. When Jack didn't go and make the hot chocolate, Ianto knew deep down in his gut how much he had hurt the man. Overwhelmed by fear, he found himself think the dissolution might be a good idea... He didn't _want _it, but maybe Jack did... and he just wanted Jack happy.

Jack offered Ianto a tissue and the two stood there as they regained their composures and used the soft background sound of the lapping of the waves in the bay to bring themselves under control.

"Maybe you're right," Ianto murmured. "I'm always going to love you, I won't ever stop; but there's this saying my mum used to say: 'If you love someone, set them free. If they come back they're yours; if they don't they never were.' I don't want to hurt you anymore. I've done enough. You mean the world to me and I never wanted to hurt you."

Inside, Jack cringed. Ianto _wanted_ this, so he'd go through with it. He'd do it to make Ianto happy. "I never wanted to hurt you either, but it seems that's all we've done lately."

"It was good, yeah? Before it went to hell?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah."

"Can I do something, one last time?"

"Sure."

Leaning forward, Ianto placed a gentle kiss on Jack's lips. "Love you," he whispered.

Jack closed his eyes. "Please don't."

Ianto nodded and pulled back. "So, what now?"

Jack sighed and looked at his watch (still the old and battered one- he had not got around to putting the new one on yet.) "I guess we should- I don't know."

"Do you have a place to stay?" Ianto asked.

Jack looked startled. "No, considering we only decided about... three minutes ago."

"Right... Erm... Well, you can stay in the guest room... until whoever decides to move out does so."

Jack smiled. "You keep the flat, Ianto. You spent so much time decorating it; I just put money towards it."

Ianto frowned. "Are you sure?"

"Positive. I'll move out. But are you going to be okay with me in the guest room until I move out?"

Ianto nodded frantically. "It's fine, honest."

"I'll go and move my stuff then."

Ianto nodded and watched Jack walk off into the bedroom and close the door behind him- and, metaphorically, on their relationship.

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN- I am so sorry you were left on that bombshell for SO long...It was not my intention, but this chapter refused to be written at all, especially after I got back from Glasgow.**

**A massive thank you to all who have reviewed so far, and I hope you enjoy this chapter...it must be said that I am not a hundred percent happy with it, but my beta likes it lol.**

**A huge thank you to Rietta for being patient with this one, it's taken me by surprise. So this one is for you Rietta! Because I don't know how you do it::p Here's to February!**

Chapter 5- When I stand here taking every breath with you…

A few days later, Toshiko Sato found herself sitting in a coffee shop called 'Torchwood' and watching Ianto quietly. Since he and Jack had announced their intention to dissolve their Civil Partnership, she had been worried: he was quiet and despondent, and was eating minimally and barely sleeping.

"How are you?"

She was startled when Ianto spoke.

"I'm fine... Worried about you," she responded, resting a hand on his arm.

He smiled sadly. "I don't know how I feel; numb I guess. It's still not really sunk in."

"I figured. Owen… well, he went to see Jack the other day. Jack said he'd found you asleep on the sofa the night after you both made the decision."

He looked up at her, and she was surprised to see the tears on his cheeks. He was never one to cry, but she guessed this must be really hard. "I don't know what to do," he choked. Tosh was out of her chair in an instant; she slipped her arms round him and held him close as he sobbed.

* * *

Owen Harper sighed. With his wife out with Ianto, it left him with Jack; and as much as he loved Jack and cared about him, it was hard to find a common ground that they could talk about that wouldn't allow the name 'Ianto Jones' to spill from his mouth and cause Jack to cry again. Owen was still recovering from Jacks last bought of tears. He had tried so many different conversations, but each time it led back to a simple 'remember when' which would cause Ianto to be brought up and in turn cause Jack to get upset.

"You know, if you're like this about him now... why did you suggest you do it in the first place?" Owen questioned.

Jack shrugged, his eyes bright. "I guess I wanted to see if he would fight me on it. Try and see if he still cared about me. I wanted him to give me a reason to not want to go through with it. I'm only going through with it now because I want him happy."

Owen rolled his eyes and bit his tongue to hold back the muttered '_men'_ that almost escaped his lips before he realised he was also male, meaning that he would be including himself in the exasperated groan.

"Look, I know it's hard." Owen offered a reassuring smile. "I went through it all with Katie; I know it's hard and you keep expecting them to come back and plead for forgiveness, but you have to accept it, move on. Take a leaf out of my book."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "And shag my way through the entire population of females in the South Wales area? Sorry, they're missing a vital piece of equipment."

Owen snorted. "Change the females to males then."

Jack shook his head. "I'm too old to be doing that. You were in your early twenties, it would have been fine for you; but me? I'm nearly thirty! I don't want to go out on the pull just for sex!"

Owen shrugged. "Don't knock it til' you've tried it."

Jack laughed. "Yeah, Katie always had the impression that I was a sex addict, you know?"

"Really?"

"Oh yeah, the amount of times I heard her mutter 'Jack Harkness, conquering the world with a hard-on' was enough for me to get the idea. I don't think she liked me that much."

"She probably did it because she liked you and wanted you, but you rejected her in favour of a fling with that Italian..."

Jack shuddered. "Don't remind me."

* * *

Some time later, Ianto entered the flat again. He dumped his bag by the hallway table and moved to the kitchen with every intention of making himself a cup of coffee and attempting to get some work done. He groaned: work seemed to be all he had been doing lately. He and Jack couldn't stand to be in the same room as each other, unless it was to watch a TV show that they both liked. Otherwise, Jack spent a lot of time browsing the internet in the spare room. Ianto refused to think of it as Jack's room.

It was as he got to the kitchen that he heard the tell-tale noises coming from the master bedroom, which had been the room they had shared. His brow furrowed in puzzlement since as far as he was aware, Jack had finished moving everything the night before. He moved quickly and quietly, opening the door and peering round it; and his jaw dropped slightly- for once not because of the mess in the room. Jack was in his tracksuit bottoms and an old university hoody, curled up with a tin of photos. The lid was abandoned on the floor labelled 'Loose Photos' in Ianto's writing.

"Ianto." Jack's voice was quiet as he spotted him. "Come and see."

Ianto removed his jacket, tie and shoes before unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt and joining Jack on the bed as they began to go through the photos. Jack handed him a picture, a small smile on his face. He took it and chuckled: the picture was of himself, Jack, Owen, Rhys, Gwen and another old friend, John Hart. The picture showed them as they tried to form a human pyramid.

"That's uni, second year, right?"

Jack nodded.

Ianto chuckled. "That pyramid was epic fail."

"Well," Jack grinned, "we should have put you, Rhys and myself on the bottom, with Owen and John in the middle and Gwen on top. I figure putting John in Gwen's place and Owen in mine and moving Owen to the bottom and Gwen next to Owen was not our best move... And I doubt Hart would have minded being in the middle."

"No," Ianto agreed. "That was his favourite position." He placed the photo on the bed and picked out another one from the tin, laughing as he showed it to Jack, who grinned and took it from his hands. "Oh god."

A few hours later, they had laughed and cried their way through the photos, recalling the memories and stories that came with them. Jack absently noted that they had resumed 'comfort' positions at some point when they had got upset over some photos of Jack's parents, who had passed away in his second year of uni; and of their friend Lisa, who was the women that had introduced Jack and Ianto to each other... even after Jack had spilt coffee all over Ianto. Jack was leaning back against the headboard with Ianto curled up between his legs, his head resting on Jack's chest. The American kept quiet and they continued to look through the photos.

It was dark when Jack opened his eyes. Dawn hadn't yet broken and he found himself cringing: why was he awake? It took a few minutes to realise he wasn't alone. The heavy, warm weight of Ianto on his chest was still there and Jack found himself smiling slightly. He pondered making his way to his own room, but when Ianto snuggled into his chest and muttered in his sleep, Jack decided to stay put. He'd deal with the consequences in the morning.

The sound of 'Turn the Beat Around' blaring out of the speakers at seven-thirty in the morning was enough to make Ianto groan with frustration. He'd been having a lovely, happy dream where he and Jack had just made up and they were talking about children. The alarm went silent and Ianto's eyes popped open, gazing at his own hands in wonder before he registered the solid warmth beneath him and his head swivelled to meet Jack's eyes.

"Morning."

"Bora Da," Ianto muttered, still half asleep, caffeine deprived and confused.

"You alright?"

Ianto thought for a moment before he realised that he had just slept for a solid stretch of time without tossing and turning. "Best I've slept in ages."

Jack smirked. "Oh, really?"

Ianto nodded and laughed at the playful look on Jack's face. "What are you doing, Harkness?"

Jack laughed and pulled Ianto back to him as he tried to escape and grasped him round the waist. Reaching his destination he blew loudly on the back of Ianto's neck, causing the younger man to squirm and try to get away.

"No you don't!" Ianto laughed, grabbing the nearest thing to him which he could use to defend himself, which happened to be a pillow.

"Oh, those be fightin' words, Jones!"

"Ar, Captain Jack!"

They were jolted out of their reverie by the crash of the tin of photos as it hit the floor after being tipped off the bed with their wrestling and general childish antics. They eyed the pile of photos and then looked at each other before breaking into raucous laughter. Taking the moment for what it was, Ianto lunged across the bed and whacked Jack with the pillow.

"Cheater!" Jack cried.

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Shhh! No, I just took advantage of the situation!"

"Otherwise known as cheating!"

"Oh, quit moaning and take it like a man, Harkness!"

For the moment, everything was forgotten: the arguments, the dissolution… Even the fact that they weren't together anymore and slept in separate rooms couldn't kill the mood they had flirted themselves into. They laughed and joked as they shaved and showered, taking it in turns to use the mirror and generally joking around with each other.

Jack took a moment to collect himself as he dressed quickly in the spare room. It was so strange to be acting like this with Ianto, especially after so many months of fighting and crying. He pulled on his suit for work, knowing he was spending time surrounded by lawyers later on that day.

As Jack walked into the kitchen area, Ianto handed him a mug of coffee and smirked at the look of adoration on Jack's face.

"Nectar of the gods!"

Ianto eyed Jack's appearance, fighting back a smile before he moved forwards and unfastened his tie. "Have you learned nothing?"

Jack raised an eyebrow. "I've learned a lot of things, Jones, but tying ties is your thing."

Ianto chuckled and raised his head as he rested his hands on Jack's chest, the neatly tied tie perfectly aligned and ready for a day at the office. They both stopped and stared at each other, suddenly realising the close proximity of each other. Jack's breathing hitched and he fought back the panic for a moment before he said a hurried goodbye and fled, depositing his coffee on the hall table. Ianto was still staring after him a few minutes later, his hands resting on an imaginary chest the only sign that this morning hadn't been a dream.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN- This chapter has been written amidst essay madness and illness, but never fear!**

**A massive THANK YOU to all of you who have reviewed, read or added this to your favourites, or alerts, your support and encouragement means a lot.**

**I couldn't write how I do without my beta Rietta, who I need to mention helped me out a LOT with the banter in this chapter-I think I may have to copyright her on it XD Here's to Foucault, Harry Potter and hypothetical parties! Love you!**

Chapter 6- A chance I've gotta take

After leaving Ianto in the flat and almost crashing several times in his hurry to get to work Jack arrived. His hair was wild and his appearance slightly dishevelled, but he hadn't been in the building two minutes before people were running up to him, demanding folders, letters or asking him to see them when he got a minute. He stopped and stared at them all, like vultures descending on their prey. "Listen, I've had a rough morning. I have a meeting with 'Tyler and Hart' later. Come see me _one at a time_ and I'll try and get you everything- just _please_ let me take off my coat!"

Several people nodded and hurried off to their respective desks, eyeing their CEO carefully. They had all noticed a drastic change in him in the last few days, and no one knew how to make it better for him or for themselves.

Tommy Brockless swallowed. It was bad enough that he was Toshiko's ex boyfriend, but adding that to the fact that he was being sent to question Jack on why he had been so 'out of it' just seemed to be the icing on the cake. Granted, he was just doing as his boss, Sarah-Jane Smith, had asked, but still… Tommy inhaled sharply and knocked on Jack's door. When 'come in' resounded from within he pushed open the door and felt immediately guilty for disturbing him as Jack's red-rimmed eyes came into contact with his.

"Miss Smith sent me; she said she wishes to know what's wrong, as you've been out of it for a few days. She's worried...she apologises for not coming herself, but Luke has taken ill and she's trying to arrange collection of him from school."

Jack sighed and motioned to the seat. "Ianto and I are getting a dissolution." The Scottish brogue that came through when Jack was upset was incredibly strong at that point and Tommy felt his heart break for the man before him.

"Shit, man; are you sure you should be working?"

Jack chuckled darkly. "This is all I have left Tommy. I can't do relationships, I don't have a family... If I can't hold the job down then what have I got left?"

"Surely you have something?"

Jack shook his head. "No, but I do have this." He handed Tommy an envelope. "It's my application for the Japan Project in September."

"I'll pass it on to Sarah-Jane."

"Thank you."

Tommy exited the office and fled up to Sarah-Jane's work area to report back to her and also hand her the application. Jack and Ianto had argued about the Japan project months ago: he remembered Jack talking to Sarah-Jane about it. The fact that Jack had applied was enough to support the case that Jack and Ianto really were splitting up. Tommy shuddered. He remembered them from when he and Toshiko had been together: they had just been starting out and they had been so in love. It scared him that two people so in love could separate now, despite their obvious feelings for one another.

Back in his office Jack stared at the date. 1st May... His and Ianto's Civil Partnership anniversary. Five years today, and it had already gone to hell. He sat up straight suddenly, his mind on over-drive. '_Should I buy Ianto a card? I mean, technically we're still partnered... That suggests I should; but we aren't together, not really.'_ He groaned out loud and banged his head on his desk, at the precise moment that the door was pushed open and Gwen Cooper-Williams rushed in. The brunette threw her arms around him in a hug and sat herself down on his lap. Jack closed his eyes, fighting back the tears, but it was no use; they came in floods and he gave up holding them back as he sobbed into her shoulder. A few minutes later, Jack leant back slightly and Gwen kissed his forehead.

"Feeling better?"

Jack shook his head, and neither of them moved from the position. "I don't think I can do it."

"You're stronger than this, Jack. Where's the Jack I first met, the one that could be knocked off his feet and he'd just get back up and give the fingers to whatever it was that knocked him down?"

"He's madly in love with the man he's getting a dissolution from..."

Gwen sighed and hugged him gently. When they pulled back Jack noticed how close their faces were and closed his eyes, inhaling sharply. They stared into each other's eyes for a moment before, as one, they leaned in. Jack deepened the kiss for a moment, and responded when Gwen ran her tongue over his lips. She wasn't sure what she expected, but Jack to return the kiss was not it at all. She sighed into the kiss and closed her eyes letting Jack assert control. A few minutes later, Jack pulled back and stared at Gwen, slightly panicked.

"Are you okay?" she asked, breathless.

Jack continued to look at her, and she could see the mounting horror and realisation in his eyes. Thinking he felt like he'd cheated on Ianto she hastened to reassure him. "Jack-"

"I am definitely gay."

Gwen stared for a moment and erupted into laughter. Jack looked stunned before he joined her in laughter and he choked out..."Do me a favour Gwen... and I mean this in the nicest possible way... don't wear any more cherry chap-stick; and don't let me kiss any other women."

"Should I be insulted?"

Jack smirked slightly. "Nah, you should be honoured: the only women ever to get a snog off Jack Harkness."

Gwen rolled her eyes. "Rhys would bloody kill me... you... me... both of us? Anyway, the fact that you're gay is the only thing that keeps him happy in life."

"You know, that's quite homoerotic..."

"Shut up! You know that's not what I meant."

Jack smiled softly. "I know. And Gwen... Thanks."

"No problem." She returned his smile as she rose and quit the room, glad that she had been able to help, however unorthodox the method. Hell, she had just snogged Jack Harkness! The little skip she suddenly gave startled Sarah Jane as the boss passed on her way to Jack's office.

* * *

Arriving in his own office at 'Tyler and Hart', Ianto found the building to be quiet. People skirted round him and avoided talking to him. He knew why, of course: it hadn't taken long for the news to reach financial law that Jack Harkness had been in contact with the 'Family law' department, to discuss the process of a Civil Partnership. The only people that didn't seem to know, were the main bosses.

Ianto seated himself at his desk and as he was removing his coat, he began reading the first file of the pile on his desk. Noting the date and time, he froze in his tracks. Five years today and neither he nor Jack had noticed. He grabbed his mobile and typed out a text to Rhys: _5Yrs anniversary today...do I buy J a card?_

It wasn't long before his phone beeped indicating he had a text. He opened the message and chuckled. _Well, in normal circumstances that would be the correct thing to do, but since when are you and J normal?_

Ianto rolled his eyes, and instead of replying he hit the 'call sender' option and raised the phone to his ear. When the phone was answered he launched into his reply. "Are you telling me that it's not normal to wait until the twelfth date to actually have sex? Or to fly back from Tokyo for an unimportant birthday? Or to play naked hide an-" he couldn't make it through the last sentence without collapsing into laughter, taking Rhys with him. When they had finally recovered, Ianto spoke, his tone serious. "Okay then, so what do you suggest I do? Hire a string quartet?"

"_What good would that do? You know Jack hates them,_" Rhys responded.

"Well alright then, a singing telegram."

"_Oh, there's an idea! Don't hire one- BE one."_

Ianto frowned. "Be a string quartet? There's only one of me!"

Rhys fell about laughing on the other end of the phone. "_No, you numpty! Be a singing telegram. You know, write a cute little ditty and sing it to Jack, preferably wearing roller skates and a gorilla costume. And do take a video of it and send it to me and Gwen..."_

Ianto gaped down the phone for a long moment then chuckled. "You know, this conversation has been surprisingly helpful. I think I WILL get Jack a card. Thanks Rhys!" He hung up the phone before his friend could get another word in. Once he had settled again, he could feel his eyes burning behind his eyelids and sniffed. He would _not_ cry! Not in work where bloody Yvonne Hartman could see him. Sadly his tears had other ideas and they began to flow down his cheeks.

"Jones, everything okay?"

Ianto's head snapped up sharply. "Miss Hartman. Yes, sorry, everything is fine."

"Mr Hart requires a meeting with you over the finance for 'SSLS'."

Ianto paled and choked back a sob. Yvonne Hartman, for all her hardened exterior, was rather stunned when the young man before her went to pieces over the name of the company his partner worked for. She sighed and sat down in the chair opposite him.

"What's wrong, Ianto?"

He looked up at her and took a deep breath. "Jack and I are getting a dissolution."

Hartman froze. There were several constants in the universe: time would always move; people would always die; and Jack Harkness and Ianto Jones would always love each other. She had a feeling that if time travel were possible, this dissolution would be causing rifts in time and space across South Wales... or a paradox of some kind.

"Look, Ianto, we need you on top form; and you're obviously not. Go and see Hart then take some time off; paid leave. We need you with your head screwed on properly and right now it's evidently not."

Ianto moved to protest. "No-Miss Hartman-"

"No, Ianto, you need to do this; you need the time. I am sorry about you and Jack, I thought you two were a constant in the universe; but all things must die, Ianto... You need to either accept it, or do something about it."

Ianto gaped after Yvonne as she left his office and shrugged his shoulders. He grabbed the file for SSLS and headed to Hart's office. Maybe the time off would give him time to work on Jack.

* * *

Jack arrived home to find the shower on in the main bathroom. He glanced at the clock and raised his eyebrows, moving cautiously to the master bedroom. Ianto shouldn't be home yet, and there was only one person he could think of that would use his and Ianto's flat just for a shower. Moving quietly, he dropped the red envelope on the pillow on Ianto's bed before hurriedly leaving and closing the door behind him.

He entered his own bedroom and dropped his briefcase on the floor. He moved to the bed and froze. On the bedside table was a single yellow rose with a red tip. Jack swallowed. His mother had been very up on her flower meanings and had instilled it in all her children to know what they meant. Yellow with a red tip meant 'Friendship' and 'Falling in love'. He saw the card on the bedside table and sat down. Picking up the envelope, he opened it to see a cute bear in a suit declaring: 'Pen-blwydd Hapus Partneriaeth Sifil'. Jack smiled and shivered as he opened the card to see Ianto's handwriting on the inside, beneath the verse.

_'I didn't know what to say that I haven't already said before, so Caru'ch Cariad... Ianto.'_

Jack stared at the card, willing the tears to not fall. He shuddered and leaned back on the bed as his tears finally won the battle and fell.

* * *

Ianto hurried out of the bathroom, having heard the door front door shut, and darted into his bedroom, a towel wrapped around his waist. He started as he caught sight of the bed, where the red envelope stood out sharply against the cream sheets. He moved to pick it up and froze, his hand hovering over it.

Making a snap decision, he dried off quickly before pulling on a pair of underpants and sitting on the bed, the envelope in front of him, daring him to open it and reveal the contents. He grabbed it quickly, ripping the envelope open, and the card fell out onto his lap.

The card was simple and declared 'Happy Anniversary'. Inside, the card had the poem 'Ten reasons why I love you', and underneath Jack had scrawled: 'Love, Jack.' Ianto breathed in sharply and closed his eyes. He held the card close to his chest and for the second time that day, he let the tears fall.

**Translation:**

**Pen-blwydd Hapus Partneriaeth Sifil = Happy civil partnership anniversary**

**Caru'Chi = Love you.**

**Ten Reasons why I love you.**

I love your gentle smile, I love your tender touch and I love your kisses so very, very much.

I love the way you flirt with me and the way you laugh and tease.

I love how you always find the nicest ways to please.

I love the way you cheer me up when you find me with a frown and always raise my spirits when life has got me down. I love you for your patience and true sincerity and most of all I love you for the way that you love me.


	7. Chapter 7

**AN- Uptown Girl as far as I'm aware belongs to Billy Joel and Green Green Grass of Home belongs to Tom Jones...or at least that's what internet tells me. Since I am neither of these men, I'm just borrowing the songs. XD**

**A massive Thank you! for everyone who's been reading this, it means a lot.**

**To Rietta, for cracking her sparkly marshmallow whip and making me write my essays! Diolch yn fawr, Caru'ch!**

Chapter 7- Now he's looking for a downtown man

Rhys was watching Ianto closely as they sat in a dark corner of the local pub. They'd been coming to 'Garland Grove' for years: the pub was owned by a local family whom everyone knew well. The family themselves had been to the commitment ceremonies of all six of them: Gwen and Rhys; Tosh and Owen; and Jack and Ianto.

"So, did you turn yourself into a string quartet and sing for Jack?"

Ianto chuckled. "No, but I left a card and a rose in his room. He got me a card as well."

Rhys's eyes widened. "Did he now?"

"Yeah, it was nice as well. He didn't say anything extravagant in it, but it was nice..."

Rhys smiled. "Did you thank him?"

"I've not seen him to thank him. And anyway, thanking him would just lead to sex when we were together."

Rhys snorted. "I don't think he'd complain."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "I'm sure."

"You're sure of what?" Rhys and Ianto were jolted out of their conversation by the voice that had suddenly cropped up out of nowhere. They found themselves staring at a grinning Owen Harper who rolled his eyes and inclined his head in the direction of a table at the other side of the pub, where Jack sat drawing circles in the condensation that was rolling off the glass and onto the table.

"Coming?" Owen asked, as he was already walking off.

Rhys shared a look with Ianto before they both grabbed their pints and strolled over to the table, Rhys sitting down beside Jack to save the uncomfortable moment of Ianto and Jack having to sit next to each other and not touch. Once everyone was settled, silence descended on the table, each not sure what to say to the other.

Jack eyed the three men he was sat with and almost laughed out loud when he realised they didn't know what to say to either him or Ianto. Smirking to himself, he ducked his head and began to sing under his breath.

"_The old home town looks the same as I step down from the train, and there to meet me is my Mama and Papa. Down the road I look and there runs Mary: hair of gold and lips like cherries. It's good to touch the green, green grass of home_."

Rhys's sharp hearing picked up what Jack was singing and he began to chuckle before throwing his arm around Jack's shoulder and belting out the next verse with Jack, who, encouraged, began to sing louder.

"_Yes, they'll all come to meet me, arms reaching, smiling sweetly. It's good to touch the green, green grass of home. The old house is still standing tho' the paint is cracked and dry, and there's that old oak tree I used to play on. Down the lane I walk with my sweet Mary, hair of gold and lips like cherries. It's good to touch the green, green grass of home._"

By the end, Owen and Ianto had also joined in. Rather than carry on, Jack laughed and shook his head. "Do you think we can have conversation now? I don't recall signing a contract to become a cabaret singer."

"Oh, but you'd do good cabaret!" Owen teased as he nudged Ianto, who was humming the rest of the song. "Did you not teach Harkness here the national anthem?"

Ianto snorted. "And have him massacre the Welsh language?"

Jack chuckled. "If there's one thing I'll never be able to do, it's speak Welsh fluently."

"Jack, repeat after me…" Rhys smirked and opened his mouth to give Jack a dirty limerick in Welsh; only to have the American slap his hand over the Welshman's mouth and shake his head.

"If you do, Ianto will kill you; and then me for murdering the language. And I like listening to those beautiful Welsh vowels, so I'd like to be alive."

Ianto grinned. "I won't kill you... only maim."

Jack rolled his eyes. "I won't even dignify that one with an answer."

"It's better than Ianto attempting to be a string quartet..." Rhys grinned.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "A string quartet? But there's only one of him!"

"Rhys suggested it," Ianto winked.

"In what conte-"

Before Owen could finish, Jack shoved a twenty at him.

"Will you get the next round in before this continues?"

Owen grinned and grabbed Rhys. "Come along Williams, you can help me."

Rhys rolled his eyes but dutifully followed the over-confident, sarcastic doctor, leaving Jack and Ianto alone at the table.

Jack rolled his eyes after them and shook his head affectionately. "Listen, I just... I wanted to thank you for the card and the rose, they're lovely."

Ianto smiled softly. "Yeah... and thank you for my card."

"You're welcome."

Owen and Rhys returned some five minutes later, carrying drinks, crisps and nuts between them.

"So…" Owen grinned. "This string quartet?"

* * *

Ianto awoke the following morning to what sounded like singing coming from the main area of the flat he and Jack shared. Glancing at the clock and deciding it was far to late to roll over and go back to sleep, he stumbled to his feet and went to investigate the noise. From the bedroom doorway, he found himself gaping at Jack, who was dressed for work and watering the potted plants they had dotted around the room.

"Uptown girl- you know I can't afford to buy her pearls; but maybe someday when my ship comes in, she'll understand what kind of guy I've been, and then I'll win..." Jack was so caught up in the song he seemed to have forgotten that he was watering the plants, until Ianto appeared and removed the plant from under the stream of water.

"You can start killing the next one now!"

"Shit, is it dead?"

"Either that, or it doesn't need watering till the fifty-first century!"

"Oh," Jack grinned wickedly, "so I made it immortal!"

"Yes Jack, things become immortal when you kill them... It's why I let you kill it; I thought it would keep you company after I've 'made you immortal'!" Ianto rolled his eyes at the water that was dripping down the window sill and onto the floor.

"Sorry." Jack smiled apologetically. "Please don't make me immortal... I'll be good!"

Ianto laughed out loud, and it didn't take Jack long to join in.

* * *

Fourteen days, 30 minutes and too many seconds to bother counting had passed since Jack had told Ianto that it was completely over. He was tired of fighting. He'd always love him; and even now, covered in grease, dirt and stinking of cleaning materials, Ianto was gorgeous. Jack would always believe so.

He watched as Ianto bent down over the stove and groaned. '_Fuck me pants,'_ Jack thought as he set the cardboard coffee cup on the table and sat down, pulling the laptop towards him and rattling off several e-mails to various companies. He wanted to get away for awhile, once Ianto and he were sorted... He'd applied for a job in Tokyo, a four month long project. Four months to move on... Four months to get over Ianto. Thinking about it, Jack didn't think it was possible to get over Ianto... but still, he could at least _try_.

Try he would, it was also the one word he was constantly chanting through his head as he watched Ianto clean the kitchen, 'fuck me pants' clinging to him in all the right places. And his top half looked pretty damn good too, in an old t-shirt of Jacks from university which read 'University of Wales, Cardiff Institute' on the front and then on the back 'Business and Finance'. Jack unconsciously placed his pen into the cardboard cup of coffee and began to slowly turn the cup with the pen. Watching Ianto clean had always been one Jack's favourite pastimes, and he figured that as long as Ianto didn't catch him staring, he was free to continue.

"Don't cave, don't cave, don't cave, don't do it Jack!" Jack began muttering under his breath. "Don't let the gorgeous, sexy, attractive, stunning, edible Welshmen get to you... Think Tosh... Tosh naked..." Jack groaned when he felt his arousal stirring, ignoring all thoughts of Tosh naked. He began twirling the cup with the pen again, not noticing the vigorous stirring was causing problems, especially with the coffee in the cup.

Ianto knew Jack was watching him; he could feel Jacks stare boring into him. Chuckling to himself, he thought back to what Tosh had said to him: 'Fight for him, Ianto.' And fight for him Ianto would. Smirking, he deliberately spilt water on the t-shirt and smirked when he felt the shirt begin to cling to him. He knew the affect it would have on Jack.

It was a few minutes later when Jack groaned and Ianto stifled the chuckle and spun to face Jack quickly.

"I didn't know you found- ow!" He stopped when the coffee cup Jack has been twirling flew off the table and hit Ianto solidly in the chest.

Jack and Ianto gaped at each other for a moment before Jack sprung into action, diving for a cool cloth. Ianto was unaware of Jack's movement, all he could think of was his and Jack's first meeting in university ten years ago.

"Did... did you just throw coffee on me... _again?" _Ianto rounded on Jack, gaping.

Jack dropped the cloth at the sound of Ianto's voice... it wasn't angry. Looking up he saw Ianto was smiling. God, he'd missed that smile!

"I believe I did, Mister Jones." Jack smirked briefly, then picked the cloth up again. "Shirt off, Ianto; that's gonna burn."

"It's cold coffee, Jack."

"Really?" Jack asked. "I could've sworn... How long have I been home?"

"Well you were starring at me for forty minutes."

Jack blushed. "Sorry."

Ianto smiled and moved close to Jack, resting his hands on Jack's shoulders. "If I'd wanted you to stop I would have told you to."

"Really?" Jack asked.

"Yes," Ianto nodded.

At the same time they both suddenly realised how close they had got, but neither one moved back.

"We shouldn't..." Ianto murmured.

"No..." Jack whispered, but still neither one moved. Instead Ianto moved closer. Their lips were almost touching when the door barged open and Ianto's mum breezed in.

"Ianto, love, I've brought groceries!"


	8. Chapter 8

**AN- A massive, massive thank you to everyone who's stuck with this story. A huger thank you to all those who review it XD You're reviews keep me going.**

**I think I have to bow down to Rietta here and I think she deserves a standing ovation for putting up with my 'repeated' errors, Thank you hun! Caru'ch! And big hugs and a slab of chocolate and vanilla cheesecake is on it's way to you.:)**

**From this moment belongs to Shania Twain, as far as I am aware:)**

Chapter 8- We shared the Laughter and the pain.

Penarth road was quiet for the early morning, so Jack found he had an easy time finding Greenway Close without developing that 'wicked' road rage he got when dealing with traffic. Jack parked his black Range Rover Vogue in front of a small house and looked at it. From the outside it looked quite nice. Red brick walls, clean garden and a decent sized driveway to park the car on. But the longer he stared at it, the less like home it felt. He figured anywhere without Ianto in it wouldn't feel like home. He eyed the hanging, wall-climbing, gutter-killing ivy for a long moment and shuddered. If Ianto could see this...

Sighing to himself he opened the door to his car and surveyed the house again whilst waiting for the estate agent. He leant against the side of the car and let the morning sun light bathe him in warmth.

The ivy was clinging to all sorts of places on the house. He calculated that that would cost him at least two hundred to have removed, and that was before he accounted for the manual labour. The sound of a loud engine startled him out of his thoughts as a sky blue Volkswagen Golf pulled up behind his car.

"Morning!" Eugene Jones, the estate agent, greeted in a tone which Jack decided was _much_ too happy for a nine o'clock viewing.

Jack nodded his head in greeting and offered a small smile. Any other day, looking for a house or flat would be exciting, but not today. "I got the right house then."

Eugene nodded. "You did. This is the one in the lower price bracket, but it's still a nice house and has plenty to offer, plenty of space. I understand it's just you."

Once again Jack nodded and offered an explanation. "My partner and I are getting a dissolution."

Eugene raised his eyebrows slightly. "I'm sorry to hear that. Lets see if we can find you somewhere to live then."

* * *

Several hours later Jack was exhausted. Of all the houses and flats he had viewed he had managed to narrow it down to three: the first house on Greenway Close; a flat by the bay; and a house on Clive Street. He parked the car outside his and Ianto's _home_ and switched off the engine. Leaning his head against the steering wheel, he let out a tired sigh before shoving himself from the vehicle and leaning on it for support. The odd look he received from their neighbour, Mrs May, was enough to encourage him to walk normally.

As he walked towards their building, he shook his head remembering the day before. Ianto's mother had made a shocking appearance, scaring the living daylights out of him and Ianto. Granted they had been about two inches away from kissing, but still... He'd have to teach that women to knock; he dreaded to think what would happen if she ever walked in on Johnny and Rhiannon.

From outside their door he could hear the soft sounds of the TV and frowned. It was half four- Ianto shouldn't have been home from work for at least another hour. Opening the door, he placed his coat on the hook and turned to the living room. The sight before him broke his heart.

Ianto was bundled up on the sofa, open Chinese take-out cartons on the coffee table and an open bottle of red wine on the floor. He could see Ianto's mouth moving along with the words from the TV and his eyes snapped to the screen and widened at what he saw before him. Scattered around the TV were open DVD cases, labelled in Ianto's own writing: 'Graduation', 'Christmas 2000' and 'Jack and Ianto's Civil Partnership' were the ones he noticed. The one in the DVD player was their Civil Partnership. Ianto was mouthing along with himself as he made his vows to love Jack forever.

Forcing back a choked sob Jack moved quickly. He crouched in front of the sofa and looked at Ianto, who had flinched when Jack appeared.

"What are you doing to yourself?" Jack asked.

"I don't want to forget." Ianto's voice shook as he spoke.

"That's what this is for." Jack smiled gently and tapped Ianto's head. "Don't do this to yourself; it won't make it any easier."

"I knew then." Ianto nodded at the screen.

Jack raised a questioning eyebrow and looked at the screen as Ianto finished speaking his vows and slipped the ring onto Jack's finger. "You knew what?"

"That it was too good to be true... That I'd do something to mess it up." Ianto took a deep breath. "That I wasn't good enough for you."

Jack turned his head quickly to Ianto and before he could even register what he was doing he kissed the Welshman solidly on the mouth.

"Stop it... please!" Jack found himself begging. "This isn't about you not being good enough; you were so much more than I deserved... We're just not working anymore... It's not your fault."

Ianto was openly crying himself. Not expecting an answer, Jack pulled Ianto into a hug, and the two of them curled up together and watched the end of the DVD. Tears flowed down their cheeks for the rest of the ceremony and the meal, but come the party and reception at the end where both Rhys and Owen danced with their respective quiche and pizza slices the tears had turned into laughter.

* * *

Ianto and Jack had been quiet with each other since the DVD night, barely remaining in the same room as each other. Ianto had confessed that night about being on compassionate leave, when Jack had asked him what he was doing home so early.

Jack sat at the kitchen table, the documents for the two houses and one flat in front of him as he pondered over the pros and cons. He had heard Ianto enter the house earlier and had decided not to mention that he had narrowed his house hunt down to three unless Ianto asked.

"I'd ditch the one on Clive Street and go view the other two again."

Jack jumped in his seat and twisted to face Ianto, who was gazing at the documents over his shoulder Ianto smiled gently at Jack.

"I'm not daft; we can't live together forever if we're getting a dissolution. I just assumed you'd ask me to move out."

Jack shook his head "I meant what I said. You spent so much time decorating this place… flat… our home. You keep it. The only contribution I gave was a debit card."

Ianto chuckled. "You could, if you wanted, just go for the flat. I mean, the houses are a bit on the big side. And you'd have less to decorate."

Jack smiled. "I'm not much of a decorator or building things for that matter."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "DIY takes on a whole new meaning with you."

"OI! I'll have you know that it was the wardrobe's fault. I didn't build it like that."

"Yes, the wardrobe intentionally lost the screws and built itself with the doors upside down..."

Jack blushed slightly. "I never professed to be good at DIY."

Ianto smiled. "I know. I just agreed with you."

"Cheeky bugger."

Ianto stuck his tongue out, then turned serious. "Do you want me to come and see them with you? You know I can help in anyway you need me to."

Jack stared at Ianto, slightly stunned. "You _want_ to help?"

"Gotta make sure you can look after yourself."

"Do you think I'm incapable?" Jack's head snapped round to look at Ianto.

"No!" Ianto hurried to reassure Jack. "I just..." he trailed off. "I just want to help."

Jack looked guilty for a second. "I wouldn't mind your help."

There eyes met for a moment before Ianto reached for the Clive Street documents, skimmed them quickly and ripped them in half.

"Set up an appointment for tomorrow night; we'll go and view the house and the flat."

Jack nodded and stood up. As he twisted past Ianto, he dropped a kiss on his forehead. "Thank you."

Ianto nodded before going to the sink and washing up some dishes, refusing to let Jack see the tears in his eyes.

* * *

"Definitely the flat!" Ianto grinned as they exited the house on Greenway Close.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Let me guess? The ivy?"

"Look at it Jack, the poor house is being eaten up by the ivy!"

"It's not sentient, Ianto."

"No, but it grows, dies and re-grows. Before you know it, with the hours you work, you'll have a house overrun by ivy and have to spend a ridiculous amount of money to have the gutters sorted."

Jack nodded. "I knew we could agree on something!" he shot back. Then he turned to Eugene. "I'd like to put an offer in on the flat then."

Eugene smiled. "Let's go and fill out the paperwork."

Jack and Eugene stood at the front of the car as Ianto settled himself in Jack's Range Rover. He pulled his coat around him and tried to ward off the chill from the area. He did have a selfish reason for suggesting Jack buy the flat: it was closer to Ianto so he had a much better chance of working on his 'fight for Jack' plan; if he hadn't succeeded by the time Jack moved out. A part of him felt bad about trying to make Jack realise how much he loved him, but he didn't want to just come out and say it, suggest they were making a mistake, in case Jack flat out laughed in his face. Gwen had told him to make Jack realise what he was missing, and Owen and Tosh had agreed: make Jack realise how much Ianto needed Jack and vice versa and Jack would change his mind.

The driver's door opened and Jack climbed in. "Eugene said I should hear from him within the next four days with the decision."

Ianto smiled. "That's good."

"Yup." Jack started the engine to the car and buckled himself in. A few seconds later the radio rose in volume over the engine and Ianto's eyes widened and he glanced at Jack, who was concentrating on the road but whose eyes had become slightly wider.

"Fuck!" they both whispered.

_'From this moment life has begun… From this moment you are the one- right beside you is where I belong, from this moment on. From this moment I have been blessed; I live only for your happiness, and for your love I'd give my last breath, from this moment on...'_

"That's just... weird," Jack murmured.

"It's... it's even the same version." Ianto said.

Jack nodded and carried on driving, fighting back the tears that came to his eyes. It hadn't been that long since he'd heard the song, just the other night on the Civil Partnership DVD, but hearing it on the radio and not a special occasion had caught him off guard.

'_I give my hand to you with all my heart; can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start… You and I will never be apart. My dreams came true because of you… From this moment as long as I live, I will love you: I promise you this; there is nothing I wouldn't give, from this moment on...'_

Ianto closed his eyes and settled back in the car, wiping his hand roughly over his eyes, determined not to cry in front of Jack again in such a short space of time. He too was rather stunned to find his and Jack's 'first dance' song on the radio, they hadn't heard it on there for years.

"Must be someone else's song as well," Ianto whispered.

Jack nodded mutely. Ianto wasn't fooled: he could see the light from the dashboard reflecting off Jack's tears.

'_You're the reason I believe in love, and you're the answer to my prayers from up above… All we need is just the two of us: my dreams came true because of you… From this moment, as long as I live, I will love you: I promise you this; there is nothing I wouldn't give. From this moment, I will love you as long as I live, from this moment on...'_


	9. Chapter 9

**AN- I'm going to beg you not to kill me XD Many thanks to you all who have reviewed. I'm working on the next chapter, and have several plotted out and waiting to be written.**

**Massive sparkly cupcakes to Rietta for her support and advice with this chapter...and June's gonna be WICKED:P**

Chapter 9- You're the only one who really knew me at all.

May turned to June in a swirl of rain, sun, blue skies and more rain. Not that rain was unusual for Cardiff. Jack was rather amused to note that the rain had matched his mood on more than one occasion. He closed his eyes and leant back on the sofa, listening as Ianto opened and closed cupboards around him, muttering to himself as he made a list of food and other items they needed to pick up from the supermarket. How he'd become roped into going grocery shopping with Ianto was beyond him, but then he'd been too tired the night before to really pay attention to what the Welshman had said to him; it wasn't until he'd awoken that morning to Ianto banging his door down telling him that they had to leave in fifty minutes if they wanted to miss the morning rush that he'd remembered.

"Do you want more Salad Cream?" Ianto asked, waving a bottle, half empty, at the back of Jack's head.

Turning, Jack eyed the bottle and shook his head. "No, it'll be fine."

Ianto nodded and placed the bottle back in its place on the shelf and then headed to the bathroom. "How are you for toilet roll?"

"I'll pick some up on the way round!"

Ianto acknowledged his call with a wave of his hand, and Jack closed his eyes, remembering _other_ things that the hand had done in the past. He shook his head to clear the images and smiled as Ianto appeared again and nodded.

"Ready?" Ianto smiled.

Jack nodded and picked up his car keys. They had always used Jack's Vogue for shopping, just because it had more room. Ianto's own car, a BMW three series, was built more for speed and ideal for the camping holidays they had taken in the past. Though after the last one, Jack doubted they would have ever gone again. Once they had locked up and climbed in the car Jack raised his eyebrows.

"I ask this every time… Tesco, Sainsbury's or Asda?"

Ianto snorted. "And I always answer Asda!"

"Cardiff Bay it is," Jack grinned.

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Can you try and get us there in one piece?"

Jack chuckled. "I can try, but then, where's the fun in that?"

"I tend to call it living..."

"I think that's overrated."

"Oh really?"

Jack smiled widely. "Oh you love it!"

"Well, it makes the journey a bit less boring."

"See! I knew I could convert you to love speed. Maybe now you'll push the BMW to its limits; that poor thing has been screaming to be let loose on the motorways since you bought it."

Ianto laughed. "I didn't know cars had feelings."

"Why do you think I named them?"

"You _named_ our_ cars_?"

Jack nodded. "Yeah," he stated as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"What names did you bestow on our cars then?" Ianto closed his eyes in anticipation.

"Well, I say I named them... I never actually got round to it, I was debating between Janet or something more Welsh."

Ianto rolled his eyes. "You just don't want to tell me!"

Jack glanced at Ianto out of the corner of his eye, refusing to remove his focus from the road. "Actually, I just don't want to crash the car, and knowing you as I do I have no doubt that your reaction would be fatally distracting."

Ianto snorted again, and the last minute or two of the journey passed in silence. The Welshman had been serious about not wanting to die in a car accident.

* * *

Pushing a trolley round a supermarket wasn't Jack's favourite task, but he tended to amuse himself with the names of items, or by glancing at the child alternatives the stores provided to get children to eat certain products. How Green Giant ever managed to convince kids that if they ate sweetcorn they'd become Green Giants was beyond him.

He chuckled to himself as he watched Ianto hold two tins of beans in his hands and debate of which one would be better. It was one of the things he had always loved about Ianto, his ability to be so organised he even debated over a brand of beans. Deciding that he'd had enough of watching, he pushed his trolley a bit faster and lifted his feet, letting the momentum carry him forward towards Ianto; who, as if sensing an impending crash, had spun around and caught the trolley before it crashed into him.

"See _this_ is why I married you!" Jack laughed as the trolley ground to a halt.

Ianto produced an eye roll which could have been felt in Newport. "It's why _I'm_ divorcing you!"

"You wound me, Jones!"

"But you love me really."

"Forever and ever, Bean." Jack had spoken so quietly he wasn't even sure if he'd actually spoken out loud, but judging from Ianto's reaction he must have. Ianto's eyes widened and he stared at Jack for a moment as something passed between them. Abruptly Ianto turned back to the shelf, grabbed a four pack of Branston baked beans and dumped them in the trolley before scuttling off to the next isle.

Jack cursed himself in several languages before sighing and following Ianto into the drinks aisle. He briefly wondered if he could sneak a bottle of vodka into the trolley: he only ever drank that when he felt so bad even tears wouldn't make him feel right, and boy did he need it right now.

* * *

Tosh wasn't a gossip by nature. However, her best friend, Gwen, was. So when she received the phone call demanding that she meet up with her and Ianto _immediately_ at Torchwood café, she assumed it was for the announcement that all their friends had been waiting for from Gwen and Rhys.

However, upon arrival, she found a slightly red-eyed Ianto with Gwen rubbing his arm consolingly.

"What?" she asked as soon as she'd sat down- ordering a drink could wait.

Gwen quickly recited what Ianto had told her. "Jack and Ianto went supermarket shopping this morning, bit of banter going on, and noggin here pipes up with 'But you love me' and Jack, the twypsn that he is, agrees with him, saying 'Forever and ever, _Bean'_- he only ever calls Ianto that in private, never mind the middle of the supermarket!"

Tosh was suitably stunned. "But I thought..." she trailed off. "Wasn't _he_ the one to suggest the dissolution in the first place?"

Ianto nodded. "And now I feel like I need to stop him... but what if it was just because of habit?"

"Habit?" Gwen asked.

"You know, we've been together ten years, we've picked up lots of little habits… What if it was just a 'caught in the moment' thing?"

Tosh sighed. "Look, it's been obvious to us all since you and Jack announced the dissolution that it's a mistake, but Jack thinks it's for the best. All these little moments that have happened since which you've told us about: the almost kiss, the DVD's, the photos… they're all contributing to placing a small amount of doubt in Jack's mind."

"Not enough," Ianto sighed. "Jack got a phone call earlier, while we were shopping. Well, _I_ was shopping, _he_ was skidding the trolley round. Anyway, the offer he put in for the flat has been accepted. He moves out on July thirty-first; that's just under two months away!"

Tosh and Gwen shared a look as a waiter appeared. They quickly ordered their coffees and didn't speak again until the waiter had brought their orders to them and gone off to take another group's orders.

"What have you done to fight for him?"

"You mean apart from try to seduce him whilst cleaning?" Ianto asked.

"Yes."

He shrugged. "Not much. I make him coffee in the morning, and I've taken to flirting with him."

"The coffee's good." Gwen grinned. "It's something he'll miss when he goes, if he gets out the door. The flirting, you've done that your whole relationship, it's normal. What you've got to do is make him realise what he's missing."

Tosh raised her eyebrows. "That's right, you could go out on a date..."

Ianto choked on his mouthful of coffee. "With who?"

Tosh and Gwen shared a look and then grinned. "Adam Smith."

* * *

Packing seemingly meaningless things into boxes labelled with 'Random' and 'Junk' was rather tedious, Jack noted to himself as he sorted through his books and placed them into the box that was accordingly labelled. He laughed to himself as he found books from university: text books, fictional books he'd read for enjoyment, and his battered copy of 'The Picture of Dorian Grey', his favourite book. Tucked amongst them was a leather-bound photo album, which he opened with great care. Photos of his family... His mother and father smiled out at him from their wedding picture, next to which lay a similar picture of his brother Gray's wedding. He sighed and closed the book, placing it in the box. The sound of '_Always on my mind_' playing from nowhere jolted him out of his melancholy thoughts. He snatched his phone up from the bedside table and stared at the number on screen.

"Hello?"

"_Bloody hell Harkness, you sound like shit."_

"John?"

"_I know we haven't spoken in well over three months, but I thought you might recognise my voice."_

"I do, you just sound different."

"_Oh, that's because I'm on the office phone, always makes us sound tinny."_

"Why are you calling me?"

"_Eye-Candy told me what happened."_

"And you're calling me because?"

"_If I know you at all, and I'd like to think I do, then I know you're letting all your friends rally round Ianto and not talking to any of them."_

"John, what do you really want?"

"_To get you out of the house so you can get it off your chest."_

"I don't know, John..."

"_Just a pint, I promise. I'm taken, by the way."_

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Who by?"

"_Fiesty young redhead called Donna Noble. Now come on."_

Jack eyed the mess around him. "When and where?"

"_Blue Box? Around Seven thirty." _

"Sure, I could do with getting out the house."

"_Eye-Candy won't mind you going for a drink with his boss?"_

"Nope; we were talking about you yesterday actually..."

"_Anything interesting?"_

"Nope, we just wondered where you'd vanished to."

"_Oh! Well, I got a bit distracted."_

"Did this Donna have anything to do with that?"

"_No..."_

"John, don't lie."

"_Fine, I met her and she came into my life and now I don't know what to do with myself when she's not around… She's currently on a business trip in London and staying the weekend to visit her family."_

"And you suddenly remembered the existence of your poor friends?"

"_Forgive me?"_

"Only because you forgave me when I first met Ianto. But you have to apologise to the others yourself."

"_Deal."_

"Bye, John."

"_Later Gorgeous."_

As he hung up the phone, Jack shook his head. John could be the most annoying man in the world, but if anyone hurt his friends, or if someone was upset, he was the first one there with the vodka shots and a shoulder to cry on.


	10. Chapter 10

**AN- I would advise you not too kill me: I am being defended by Rietta's fearsome book 7 Snape and McGonagall- and a ventriloquist, but we won't go into that now. Besides, if you kill me, I can't fix it :p**

_**Rietta adds: My Snape and McGonagall (whom you would NOT want to cross!) are only defending Amethystbutterflys. They will happily stand by whilst you murder Ianto in the manner of your choosing. In fact, if you bring them 70% dark chocolate, they will most likely help. (The chocolate is for Minerva. Sev is a sadistic bastard and will do it for nothing.)**_

**Thanks to those who reviewed and my apologies for it being **_**so**_** long between posts XD Enjoy. Huge THANK YOU to Rietta for her support with this chapter; **** Here's to March, April and May Cariad!**** *hides all weapons and puts out a tray of tissues*  
**

Chapter 10- Obviously he's out of my league

The noise that woke Ianto up on the early July Saturday morning was a noise he hadn't heard for quite some time: Jack singing. Not just singing like when he had watered the plants, but singing like he belonged on a stage. Ianto caught a few of the words and it brought a smile to his face. The American only sang like this when he was in a good mood; which was his excuse for not going professional. Jumping out of bed and going to the en suite, Ianto pulled on the old clothes which he always used for cleaning and headed out of the bedroom trying to decide what to clean first. Entering the open plan living room, kitchen and dining area, however, he stopped: Jack was singing, dancing and _cleaning_.

"_I'm through accepting limits, ''cause someone says they're so, Some things I cannot change, But till I try, I'll never know! Too long I've been afraid of, Losing love I guess I've lost, Well, if that's love, It comes at much too high a cost!, I'd sooner buy, Defying gravity, Kiss me goodbye, I'm defying gravity, And you can't pull me down.."_ Jacks voice rang around the room, sending shivers down Iantos' spine, it _had _been a long time since he'd heard Jack sing like this.

Rather than speak, Ianto grabbed the window cleaner and headed for the windows, standing on a chair to reach the really high parts and letting Jack's voice continue to make him shiver. If he was right, Jack was playing their cleaning CD.

"_So if you care to find me, Look to the western sky! As someone told me lately: "Ev'ryone deserves the chance to fly!" And if I'm flying solo, At least I'm flying free, To those who'd ground me, Take a message back from me, Tell them how I am, Defying gravity, I'm flying high, Defying gravity, And soon I'll match them in renown, And nobody in all of Oz, No Wizard that there is or was, Is ever gonna bring me down!."_ As Jacks' voice trailed off after the pinnacle note, Ianto tapped him on the shoulder.

"It's been _ages_ since I've heard you sing like that."

Jack turned to him, simultaneously turning the music down and rescuing the photo he'd nearly knocked off the mantelpiece in his shock. "I don't tend to sing that often anymore."

"You used to sing all the time."

Jack smiled. "I know, but then work got in the way and I forgot how to."

"I thought it was like riding a bike."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Or something else."

Ianto blushed. "Down boy."

"I'm not even up."

Ianto snorted with laughter as the next song started up on the CD. Deciding to have his own fun, he let the introduction to the song play and then began to sing along, shaking his hips from side to side and causing Jack to laugh.

"_Put on my blue suede shoes, And I boarded the plane. Touched down in the land of the Delta Blues in the middle of the pouring rain, W.C. Handy won't you look down over me, yeah I got a first class ticket, But I'm as blue as a boy can be...Then I'm walking in Memphis, walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale. Walking in Memphis, but do I really feel the way I feel..._"

As they cleaned, they continued to sing, alternating between different songs. The cleaning CD had been put together when they had fist moved into the flat, a year after graduating university. It was a compromise so that they didn't argue over whose music to listen to when they cleaned. The CD was a compilation mix of all the songs that they both liked and had been updated frequently over the years. Ianto raised his eyebrows when he recalled that Jack had been singing a song from Wicked when he had first come out to help, meaning that Jack must have updated the CD recently because it hadn't been on when they had last cleaned _together_ around ten months ago. Ianto cringed a bit when he realised how long it had been: too long for something that had been part of a weekly routine at one point.

The songs continued to play, passing the time in a whirl of Musical Theatre, Eva Cassidy, Disney, John Barrowman, Avril Lavigne, Alan Jackson and Mcfly. With each passing song Jack found himself pondering what it would be like to have the old connection with Ianto back. There had been glimpses of it in the last few weeks, the near kiss, the home DVDs, and more recently when they had been viewing the house. The introduction to the next song tinkled out of the speakers and Jack smiled as he sang.

"_Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick, And think of you, Caught up in circles confusion, Is nothing new, Flashback, warm nights, almost left behind. Suitcases of memories, time after-"_ He was rather surprised when Ianto's voice took over the next part of the verse, and turned to look at the Welshman.

"_Sometimes you picture me, I'm walking too far ahead, you're calling to me, I can't hear what you've said, then you say, go slow, I fall behind...The second hand unwinds._" Ianto caught Jack's eyes as they both went into the chorus, eyes never leaving each other's as they unconsciously moved towards the centre of the room.

"_If you're lost you can look and you will find me, Time after time, If you fall I will catch you-I'll be waiting  
Time after time.._._After my picture fades and darkness has turned to gray, Watching through windows you're wondering if I'm OK, Secrets stolen from deep inside, The drum beats out of time_.._.If you're lost you can look and you will find me, Time after time..." _Jack hadn't removed his eyes from Ianto's own throughout the song, but the moment was broken when Ianto tripped over the bucket of cleaning supplies and without thinking, Jack caught him as the next line of the song echoed from the speakers.

_If you fall I will catch you I'll be waiting, Time after time _

"Oh, the irony!" Ianto chuckled as he made no move to extract himself from Jack's arms.

"It could have been worse," Jack smiled.

"Oh, much worse... could have needed a trip to A&E and that's the last thing I need."

Jack laughed as he reluctantly removed his arms from around Ianto.

* * *

By eight o'clock Jack wasn't sure what was going on. After cleaning, Ianto had spent over an hour in the bathroom before hurrying into his bedroom, and for the last forty-five minutes all Jack had been able to hear were muffled curses and noises coming from under the closed door.

"Jack," Ianto spoke as he appeared in the now open doorway, "what do you think?"

The American was taken aback: Ianto looked amazing. Tightly fitted black suit pants sat snugly on his hips, highlighting what Jack knew to be glorious legs and arse, and the silvery-grey shirt outlined the Welshman's body just hinting at what was beneath.

"Wow." Jack muttered. It had been a long time since he had seen Ianto in a suit that wasn't meant for work. "You look amazing."

Ianto smiled. "Thanks...tie?" He held up a plain black tie and a silver and grey striped one. Jack eyed him critically for a minute.

"Where are you going?"

"Oh, didn't I tell you?"

"No." Jack shook his head as he walked towards Ianto and removed the ties from his grasp, looking at them both intently.

"Adam Smith is taking me on a date."

Jack nearly dropped the ties in shock, but he managed, or at least he felt like he did, not to gape too much at the man before him. His eyes darted to Ianto's left hand. Once, on the third finger, there had been a platinum band that symbolised their relationship, but now it was gone. Taking a deep breath, Jack managed a tight smile before he reached and undid the top two buttons on Ianto's shirt.

"Knock him dead."

Ianto nodded and smiled. "Thanks." He picked up his suit jacket and headed to the front door, where he turned back and gave Jack a smile. "For everything."

Jack raised his hand and waved as the door closed behind Ianto. He waited five minutes and made sure Ianto's car left the parking area at the back of the flats before hurrying into Ianto's room.

* * *

Jack finished placing the final book on the shelves and sat, defeated, on Ianto's bed- the bed which had once been _theirs_- with a sigh. Ianto had moved on completely, it seemed. To the point of getting rid of his ring. Jack had planned to find the ring and then offer it back to Ianto whilst begging for another chance. Ideally he'd have told Ianto they were making a mistake, and then Ianto would have agreed and they could have worked it out. He knew in his heart that splitting from Ianto wasn't want _he_ wanted, and for a few moments earlier, he had been sure it wasn't what Ianto wanted either. Obviously, he was wrong.

Rather than sit and cry alone he decided to take John Hart's advice, and so he pulled out his mobile, dialing Owen's number by heart.

* * *

The first thing Owen did when he hung up the phone was dial John. Despite their repeated offers for help Jack hadn't taken them up on them until now. Even John's attempt at the 'Blue Box' pub had been unsuccessful. This was the first time that Jack had reached out to any of them, and Owen was damned if he was going on his own.

When John arrived at Jack and Ianto's flat, he noticed Owen's car already in the car park. He darted up the flights of stairs as fast as he could and didn't bother knocking at the door. Instead, he entered the flat and his heart broke at the sight which greeted him. Jack was curled on the couch in the foetal position. Owen was sat on the floor at Jack's head, whispering quietly. John moved, closing the door quietly behind him and sitting on the floor by Jack's middle and resting his hand on Jack's waist as the normally energetic man spoke, his voice hoarse. He spoke of the moments that had taken place, of how much he loved Ianto, and of how the Welshman had moved on and got rid of the ring. The ring Jack had bought for him.

"I've lost him."

John and Owen shared a look and they mutually agreed to work together to rebuild their broken friend.

* * *

Unaware of what was happening back at the flat, Ianto was sat in the restaurant where he was meeting Adam when he felt something sharp dig into his chest. Frowning, he reached into his shirt pocket and removed the offending object. He smiled when he saw the familiar band of platinum resting in his hand. He'd removed it when he had been styling his hair, just before he'd spoken to Jack. He ran his hand reverently over the smooth surface and slipped it back on his finger as Adam sat down in the chair opposite him.

Adam picked up Ianto's left hand and admired the ring. He knew the story (Ianto had filled him in) and he rolled his eyes. "You do know that coming out on a date with me is probably the _worst_ thing you could have done?"

Ianto raised an eyebrow. "How so?"

"Oh, Ianto." Adam smiled. "Mainly because Jack and I have always been fighting for your love. Jack fought for you in University and he won; I accepted that, you guys got hitched and I moved on."

Ianto raised his eyes to Adam and ran his finger over the ring. "I don't know what else to do."

Adam chuckled. "Then tell me everything, and I shall attempt to provide you with some advice."

"Thank you."

_**Defying Gravity is from Wicked.**_

_**Walking in Memphis belongs to Marc Cohn as far as I'm aware.  
**_


	11. Chapter 11

**AN- Quotes are from Hanover Street. Thank you all for your reviews and sticking with this story. Chapters 12 and 13 are also written. Let me know what you think:) You're reviews always make me smile.  
**

**Huge HUGE thank you to Rietta for...well everything:) 18****th**** is gonna be awesome!:)**

Chapter 11 – Everything to Me.

Several days later Jack and Ianto had barely spoken to each other. Ianto was worried that the plan hadn't worked. Tonight, Jack had decided that whilst Ianto was out with Rhys, Owen and John he was going to have a movie night: curl up with a 'Veggie Supreme' pizza, Real ale and 'Hanover Street'. Jack was sure Ianto would have rolled his eyes and call him an old soul if he knew, but Ianto wasn't there. This was his night.

An hour later, with his pizza still hot and his pint still chilled from the fridge, Jack hit the play button on the remote and settled back to watch the film.

"_You people actually drink this stuff?" "No we just like to put it in our cups and stare at it." "Tastes too much like, boiled water." "It is boiled water." "I knew there was a reason." _

Jack chuckled to himself as he bit into the pizza. The quote itself reminded him of Ianto and himself back when they first met at university. There were slight differences of course- Ianto wouldn't be caught dead with a mug of tea in his hands unless it was to serve someone else or to treat shock.

"_I love you enough to let you go, which is more than I've ever felt about anyone in my life."_

Jack closed his eyes and smiled slightly: a truer statement had never been made on his own feelings for Ianto. He did love the Welshman enough to let him go, that was something he had come to realise in the last week.

The front door opened but Jack didn't notice. too entranced by the story unfolding on the screen before him. Ianto perched himself on the arm of the couch and continued to eat his cone of chips and watch Jack's face as the film reached its ending. The credits started to roll and Ianto leaned down and dropped an affectionate kiss on Jack's hair.

"Good night?"

Jack nodded. "Quiet, you?"

Ianto rolled his eyes. "Rhys is determined to have Gwen pregnant before Christmas."

"Good for them."

"We had to listen to Owen giving conception advice."

Jack smirked. "Interesting."

"Hmm, but then John joined in."

"I'm not sure I want to know any more."

Ianto laughed. "We missed you though."

"It would have been... complicated."

Ianto nodded in agreement. "I know." He glanced around the room and smiled. "So, movie night with Jack Harkness: real ale, 'Hanover Street' and veggie pizza?"

"Rather that than Bridget Jones."

Ianto laughed.

* * *

The warm water rushed down Jack's back, washing away the last remnants of sleep. He reached around the shower curtain for the shaving gel and almost fell out of the shower when he caught sight of Ianto just flushing the chain.

"Jesus! What does a guy have to do to get some privacy around here?"

The dishevelled Welshman turned to gape at Jack in shock. The running water hadn't broke through his sleep-befuddled mind until now.

"Fuck," he muttered as he stared at Jack's toned and wet body. It had been a _long_ time since he had laid eyes on it. He yelped when he found Jack had dislodged the shower head and was aiming it at him with a wicked smirk on his face.

"Let me shower in peace!"

Ianto hurriedly left the bathroom, leaving a trail of water that led to the master bedroom. He rolled his eyes at himself and shook his head. Next time he decided to avoid the walk back to the bedroom to use the en-suite and use the main bathroom after putting the coffee machine on, he'd remind himself of this incident.

Jack watched Ianto leave in a mild form of shock. His head was swimming through all the possible outcomes of that meeting. He still found Ianto attractive, he wasn't blind; the Welshman had always looked deliciously unkempt in the mornings, especially before he had his first caffeine fix. He groaned at himself and stood under the shower. Rather than continue to enjoy the warmth, he turned the notch to cold and suppressed the yelp that tried to fight its way of his throat.

* * *

Jack was in his bedroom getting dry and dressed when his phone chirped in the corner. It had been just over a week since Ianto had come home from his date with Adam. The Welshman had come back from the night looking a little bit worse for wear but there was nothing about him to confirm Jack's fear that Ianto had slept with Adam. Owen and John had watched from the kitchen as Ianto had stumbled to his bedroom, mostly due to alcohol consumption. Jack glanced at the phone and raised his eyebrows as the caller ID informed him it was Tosh calling, though the clue should have been in the ringtone: Tosh's favourite song, 'A Whole New World'.

"Tosh?" he answered.

"_Jack, look, I wanted to talk to you about Ianto."_

"I figured; that's the only reason you seem to call me these days."

"_You know that's not true; but anyway, it wasn't Ianto who decided to go on the date with Adam, it was my idea. Well, mine and Gwen's."_

"Uh huh, and what, pray tell, did you hope to achieve?"

"_He's still in love with you Jack. He wants to win you back. We wanted to make you jealous."_

"Well that's just brilliant. Not only did you succeed in making me jealous, you also caused him to break my heart more than he already had done. Fantastic work."

"_Jack, please! Just hear me out."_

"I'm listening."

"_It was a stupid idea. I'm __**so so so so so so so sorry**__!"_

Jack chuckled. He could _never_ stay mad at the Japanese lady, she was too darn cute. "Tosh, honey, it's all forgiven- on _one_ condition."

"_Name it."_

"You let me and Ianto work through everything our own way. I can barely look at him at the moment; I need time and space."

"_Done. I'll even get Gwen to keep her nose out."_

"You're an amazing friend... even if you do have bad moments, but that's what I love about you. You always admit it."

"_Thanks Jack. We should meet for a drink and a chat sometime. I forgot there were two of you involved in the dissolution until Owen came home the other night all upset. We only talked about it earlier. I'm sorry."_

"I didn't reach out to any one though Tosh, I pushed everyone away. I only reached out to Owen because I realised I couldn't cope on my own anymore."

"_I'm here, Jack. We all are."_

"Thanks Tosh." Jack was silent for a minute as he digested everything. "Hmm, how about you meet me for coffee on our lunch break on Monday?"

"_Sounds good. One thirty at Torchwood?"_

"Sure. See you then, my princess."

"_Till then, my frog." _Laughing at their own private joke, they hung up and Jack hurriedly dried himself and got dressed.

* * *

"Jack! Rhiannon, Johnny and the kids are coming round for tea, or so they have just informed me!" Ianto called, panic-stricken, from the lounge area.

"Seriously? What do they expect us to do?"

"Apparently, nothing- and I quote Rhi- '_too fancy'."_

"Roast chicken pasta then. Come on bean, work to do."

They worked together in silence. Neither one of them asked for ingredients, but as always when they cooked together they each reacted before the other one could ask, passing ingredients or utensils almost instinctively.

"Ianto, can you pass me th-" Jack was cut short as the Garlic Crusher was placed in his hands.

"Thanks."

Ianto smiled. "No worries, can you get- oh, never mind." He trailed off as Jack placed the paprika in front of him on the worktop.

He watched the American for a moment and fought back the grin that was trying to escape. It seemed they could _still_ read each other's minds.

Once the bake was slow cooking in the oven, they turned to stare at each other, rather stunned by what had just taken place. Together, they cleaned the kitchen in silence, shooting each other glances as they worked.

The knock on the door came at six.

Jack was in the bedroom changing his t-shirt to a shirt when Ianto pulled open the door. The look on Rhiannon and Johnny's faces as he saw them told him all he needed to know, before he was nearly knocked to the ground by his niece and nephew, David (aged seven) and Micah (aged five.)

"Why are you making Uncle Jack leave?" they demanded, and Ianto knew it was going to be a rough night.

Jack appeared in the room a few minutes later and he too was nearly bowled over by the children as they begged him not to leave and asked awkward questions. "Uncle Jack, why is Uncle Ianto making you leave? Is he being mean? Does he not love you anymore?" the children asked in unison and Jack suspected they were trying to wrap their minds around it.

It was Micah's innocent question when everyone was settled in the lounge that broke Jack's heart. "Do _you_ not love _us_ anymore?"

"Of course I love you both, so, _so_ much. Uncle Ianto isn't making me leave."

"Is it _adult_ stuff?" David asked, with a typical Jones eye-roll.

Jack smiled gently. "Yes. But I'll try and explain it."

The kids nodded and waited expectantly. "Love is a _very _tricky thing. Sometimes, you can love someone madly, but not _like _the person they change into over time."

"You don't like Uncle Ianto?"

"I don't like that we argue all the time or how we don't really know each other anymore."

"Then you should talk," Micah stated matter-of-factly.

Jack smiled and kissed her head. "It's not that simple, Micah-bach. Sometimes it needs more than that."

"Do you still love each other?" David's eyes were swimming with a sheen of tears.

"I know I still love Uncle Ianto. And you'll still see me. Maybe not as often as you're used to. But we'll go the park and have ice cream."

The kids cheered and hugged Jack tightly before going to their Uncle Ianto and planting themselves in his lap and turning once again to look at Jack as they hugged Ianto tightly.

"Do you think you'll ever love and like each other again?"

Ianto turned to look at Jack. His eyes held a little spark of hope as Jack responded. "Maybe. Who knows what the future holds?"


	12. Chapter 12

**AN- I am refusing to come out from behind Rietta's fearsome Book 7 Snape and Minerva, so you'll have to get through them first. :)**

**The Paragraph starting 'It was in that moment-' is from the brilliant Rietta XD Because she's fabulous and has a way with words...I swear sometimes she's in my mind. She seems to know what I want/need to say, when I can't find the words. XD This is THE chapter with THE scene that Rietta mentioned in Models and Musicians I-Matchmaking- So I hope you enjoy it...**

**Many thanks to ALL who have reviewed this and this is NOT the end:p I'm not that mean. Chapter 13 is written and 14 in progress XD**

**For Rietta for being the best friend a girl could ask for!**

**Rating-M**

Chapter 12 – Let you leave without a trace.

It was _that_ morning. Ianto was standing in the kitchen watching as Owen, John, Rhys, Tosh, Gwen and Donna helped Jack to pack the rest of his possessions into the boxes ready to be moved into the van Jack had hired for the day.

"Right, let's start moving this lot to the van," Owen said as he moved to pick up one of the boxes. "Are you helping, Teaboy?"

Ianto nodded and automatically reached for a box at the end of the row. He was numb, with shock he decided, that this day had actually come. _Teaboy_ was one of the new nicknames Owen had conferred on Ianto in the last few weeks since his date with Adam. _Tosspot _and _Wanker_ were just some of the nicer ones. He had never called Ianto these names to his face, bar Teaboy; but that was only today, and simply because Ianto had been hiding in the kitchen providing beverages. But Ianto had heard Jack and the others admonish him enough.

* * *

An hour later, all of the boxes were loaded in the back of the van. Owen and Tosh had headed off to a fancy restaurant for a late lunch; Gwen and Rhys to visit Gwen's parents for tea; and Donna and John back to John's for a night in and a takeaway. Ianto reflected wistfully on when he and Jack had done simple things like that. He looked at Jack, who was having a last check of the apartment, making sure he had left nothing.

"Jack. If I find anything, I can bring it round."

Jack glanced at him. "Oh, that's right. You don't know."

Ianto raised his eyebrows. "Don't know what?"

"Gwen and Rhys are house-sitting. I'm taking the Japan project."

It was in that moment that Ianto knew he had lost Jack. The discussions they'd had as a couple regarding the Japan Project had left the American in no doubt regarding the Welshman's feelings about it; and before the arguments about a dissolution had flared up Jack had promised to turn down the project. Now, learning that his ex was actually going so far as to travel halfway round the world to put some distance between them, Ianto felt his heart breaking all over again. That was it. It was over. In that moment, he knew that he could not let Jack go. If he let the American walk out of that door, he might never see him again.

"I didn't want to drop it on you like- what are you_ doing_?" Jack asked dumbfounded as Ianto placed himself between Jack and the door.

"I can't let you go."

"You can't hold me hostage either."

"If you walk out that door, I might never see you again. I can _just_ about handle us separating if it means I still have you in my life, but if you walk out that door, you'll go to Japan, and you might not come back!"

"I swear to god, Ianto Jones, if you let me go I _will_ come back."

"But what if you don't?" Ianto was slowly losing it.

"Ianto... C'mon, be reasonable."

"Reasonable! You want _reasonable_! I've been trying to fucking understand what went_ wrong,_ I've been doing _everything_ I can, and still I can't put my finger on what went wrong!"

Jack sighed wearily "I've _told_ you, so many times. We just weren't _working_ anymore."

"How does a relationship just stop _working,_ Jack?"

"When the couple don't talk, communicate; when they spend half their time at each others throats about the smallest things; when they can't _trust_ each other; and _especially_ when one of the couple starts accusing the other one of cheating on them, when its _they_ who's been away from home and _working late_ all the goddamn time!"

Ianto stared at Jack, his jaw on the floor. "Are you _accusing _me?"

Jack rolled his eyes so hard the workers in Japan must have felt the resultant vibrations. "NO! But _this_ is what I'm on about! You're always jumping to conclusions, putting words in my mouth and twisting them so tight they're barley recognisable."

"I never-"

"Ianto, don't you _dare_ play the innocent card here! You accused me of cheating on you; you pushed _me_ away to the point that you _forgot_ my birthday! I lost any connection with you- it felt like waiting for rain in a drought."

Ianto moved so fast that Jack could swear he had teleported. They were nose to nose, breathing harsh and emotions fraught. "I never stopped fighting for you," Ianto choked.

"Yes, you did. You stopped fighting for me a _long _time ago."

Ianto grasped the front of Jack's shirt and pulled him closer. The Welshman didn't need to raise his voice: the whisper could have frozen Antarctica all over again. However, whatever Ianto had said was lost on Jack when he noticed the sparkle of platinum on Ianto's ring finger. The American's eyes flew wide and he pulled back.

"You-"

Ianto raised his eyebrows. "What?"

Jack waved his hand vaguely in the direction of Ianto's left hand. Ianto raised it and stared at it. "What about it?"

"You still have your ring."

Ianto nodded. "Yes, Jack. Just because I pushed myself away from you, it doesn't mean I stopped loving you."

Jack was vaguely aware of reciprocating the sentiment. The awareness of a hot body pressed tightly against his, talented hands fisting in his shirt and a pair of familiar lips on his startled the American out of his thoughts. The two men pulled back and gaped at one another, breathing harsh and emotions high.

"Fuck," Jack murmured.

Neither was aware of who moved first. A few moments later Jack found himself being pressed against the wall beside Ianto's bedroom door. The kiss itself was every bit as passion filled as he remembered their kisses to be.

"Your wish, my command," Ianto whispered hotly.

"We shouldn't," Jack whispered back, his tone just as lust-filled.

"That's what makes it so good."

They stared into each other's eyes. A thousand emotions and unsaid words passed between them. The kiss, when it came, was completely different from the first hurried and harsh ones. It was tender and heartbreaking, almost a goodbye. Mutually, they seemed to decide that tender and romantic was _not_ what they needed, Jack pushed away from the wall and walked Ianto backwards through the bedroom door, kicking of their shoes and stumbling, until the backs of his knee's found the bed. Jack gave a gentle push and the flushed Welshman found himself on his back with the American straddling his waist wearing a devilishly wicked smile on his face.

"This is familiar."

"Oh yes," Ianto smirked. "But I'm afraid if you don't hurry up and _do_ me, I may have to take control."

Jack's lust filled eyes met Ianto's. They kissed, teeth clashing and tongues battling for dominance. Ianto slid his hands under Jack's shirt and ran his fingers along the familiar plains, moaning deeply in the back of his throat.

Clothes seemed to become a hindrance and they ripped them off each other at lightning speed. Jack's t-shirt and jeans ended up in a crumpled mess at the bottom of the bed whilst Ianto's clothes had been thrown in the direction of the window. He was distracted from his thoughts when Jack began attacking his jawline with hot wet kisses before trailing his lips along the Welshman's neck. Hot sharp pain was served and soothed as Jack nipped and licked Ianto's neck and chest.

The last of their clothes were shed quickly and bare cocks slid against each other, slick with precum. All thoughts of how _wrong_ this was fled Jack's mind as he focused on the delicious Welshman underneath him. Jack licked a hot trail down to Ianto's nipples and lathed them into hard peaks, causing the other man to curse in Welsh

"_Jack…_" Ianto's whispered moan sent a thrill through the American above him.

"Tell me what you want," Jack whispered as he pressed a harsh kiss against the Welshman's lips.

"Fuck me. Hard."

Jack groaned and fumbled in the bedside cabinet, the last known location of any lube. He smirked when his hand closed around a bottle and he pulled it out. "Lucky us."

Ianto smirked and pulled Jack back down into a bruising kiss. "Time's a-wastin'."

"You have the _sexiest_ bed voice."

"It's the Welsh accent," Ianto murmured as Jack slicked his fingers and pressed one inside him. He arched into the touch: it had been _so_ long since.

"Easy." Jack soothed as he began thrusting a single finger in and out of Ianto's tight, hot hole. Time became non existent as Jack lavished pleasure on Ianto, he slid one finger out and thrust a second finger in. Ianto groaned at the new intrusion as Jack hit his sweet spot. Another finger had Ianto practically leaping of the bed as he gasped and writhed, he was sweaty, hard and desperate to cum.

"Jack, please..."

"Patience."

Ianto flipped them, sitting astride Jack's crotch, the Americans hard cock pressing against his hole. He aligned himself carefully and pressed his body downwards, riding Jack's cock hard and fast. The American was panting and holding Ianto's hips steady, thrusting up and meeting each of Ianto's downward thrusts. Deciding he wanted more, Jack flipped them over and raised Ianto's legs to drape over his shoulders, driving himself in deeper and hitting _that_ spot inside Ianto, causing him to cry out and thrust upwards.

For a long moment, the only sounds in the room was the moaning of the two men and the hot sound of skin hitting skin. Deciding he wanted more, Jack flipped them back over and raised Ianto's legs to drape over his shoulders driving himself in deeper and hitting _that_ spot inside Ianto causing him to cry out and thrust upwards.

"Fuck Jack!"

"Course."

When Ianto's orgasm hit, white lights flashed behind his eyelids and he cried out as his cum spilled over his stomach in hot pulses and he felt Jack's hot cum spurt inside him. The American slumped over Ianto's chest and the two men instinctively curled around each other.

Jack wasn't sure how much time had passed, but as he lay with Ianto curled in his arms he knew that this was were he belonged; where he was meant to be. He watched the Welshman sleep, his chest rising and falling gently as he napped.

"I wish I could hold you like this forever," he whispered.

He wasn't sure if Ianto had heard him, or whether the man was just responding to having someone there while he slept. But Ianto curled around Jack and snuggled into his chest, murmuring in his sleep as Jack held him.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN- I assume you want this chapter:p Posting for Chapter 14 will be a Friday rather than Wednesday's but will still be every week.**

**I have 14 partially written and 15, 16 and 17 planned. **

**A huge thank you to everyone who is reading and commenting, it's great to see what you all think. I am still being protected by a fearsome canon Jack and a book seven Snape. If you try to hurt me, I can't fix it... Let me know what you think:)  
**

**Massive thank you to Ria (Rietta) for her help with the final flashback and the idea! It worked perfectly in the end XD. You're Fantastic and here's to October and November XD**

Chapter 13- It's over, let's face it.

He got dressed quickly and quietly, trying not disturb the sleeping man on the bed. It was seven in the evening and he needed to be gone before he woke up. Slipping out of the bedroom door, he picked up his coat with a final glance around the flat he had spent seven years of his life in. Seven years of living and being in love with the man in bed. Jack Harkness crept out of the door and leaned against it for a long moment before taking out his key and pushing it under the crack.

* * *

Ianto Jones awoke with a start. The first thing he noticed, was the he was alone; the second thing was that he was naked; and the third was that he had slept with Jack. He climbed out of the bed and walked around the bedroom, noticing Jack's clothes were gone. He entered the living area and noticed there was no note, nothing to hint that Jack had ever been there, apart from a picture on the mantelpiece. It was nothing special, but it spoke volumes about what Jack and Ianto's relationship had been like. It had been taken on their Civil Partnership, but it was a photo that wasn't posed: Jack was laughing and Ianto had cake on his nose.

Ianto smiled and thought back over his relationship with Jack. It had never been perfect- love never was - but it was their first meeting that always brought a smile to his face.

**28****th**** October 2000**

Ianto Jones was a quiet, studious man. And he had a crush. A crush on the most gorgeous man in the university. The man was amazing: brown hair, crystal blue eyes, and he looked like he belonged on the front of 'OK'. Ianto was sitting in the refectory with his friend Lisa Hallett discussing the merits of nine pence noodles over fifty pence noodles and wondering if he was, quite possibly, going insane, when he saw said crush walk into the room just as the Welshman stood to get a refill on his coffee.

Jack Harkness wasn't as well known as most people thought him to be. His American accent often had him labelled as 'the brown haired American' in the Business and Finance lectures. He'd made friends with Owen Harper and Gwen Cooper because they shared a flat with two other people whom he was certain were aliens. Because really, how many people found black piles of mucus in the kitchen sink? Though accommodation _had_ assured them that it was just burnt, wet mushy peas… He was talking to Owen as they walked into the refectory and as a consequence, he wasn't looking where he was going when he turned on the spot after picking up his coffee. He had just enough time to register the head of brown hair before him as he stumbled, the coffee bouncing from his hand and hitting the brown-haired man in the chest.

"Fuck…" he muttered. The man looked at him, a dumbfounded expression on his face.

"Did... Did... fuck that's hot."

Jack grabbed Ianto's arm and pulled him into the mens toilets, ordering Ianto to undo his shirt as Jack turned on the cold taps and began running paper towels underneath the water. Once the Welshman's shirt was off, Jack started applying the cool towels to the red skin.

"I am _so so so so _sorry!" Jack exclaimed.

"You're Jack Harkness," Ianto stated.

Jack raised his eyebrows. "And you're... Sorry, I seem to have misplaced your name? We have Business and Finance together though, I've seen you in lectures."

Ianto nodded dumbly and Lisa, having appeared when the commotion started, stepped in. "Erm... Yeah, this is Ianto Jones."

Jack turned to gape at the young women who was holding Ianto's shirt and blinked. "You do know you're in the men's toilets?

Lisa nodded and smiled brightly "He's Ianto Jones." she repeated.

"Yarntoe?"

"Ianto actually." The Welshman smiled.

"Yanto?"

"Close enough."

"You're Welsh?"

"You're American."

Jack nodded and Ianto smiled back. Their eyes met and Lisa giggled quietly to herself as she winked at Owen, who was watching the interaction with amusement.

**Present.**

**

* * *

**Jack was unpacking slowly, the boxes placed in all the rooms. Owen, John and Rhys were coming round the following day to help him with putting up his furniture. For now, he was spending his Saturday unpacking his clothes, shoes, photographs and kitchen equipment. He smiled softly when he opened an unlabelled box and found himself staring at a top of the line coffee maker and his favourite coffee beans, along with a note from Ianto. _Because I'm not there to provide your caffeine fix anymore._ He smiled as the note was followed by basic instructions on how to make the coffee. Ianto knew him too well.

Deciding to unpack the portable stereo and have some background music, the American lifted the coffee maker onto the side and then moved to the living area and pulled out the small player. He plugged it in and tuned it to 'Capital Radio' before moving to unpack the rest of the kitchen equipment. It was as he was unpacking the new cutlery he'd bought and placing it into the sections in the draw that the unfamiliar introduction to a song began to play out of the stereo.

_I know they say if you love somebody, You should set them free (so they say), But it sure is hard to do, Yeah, it sure is hard to do. And I know they say if they don't come back again, Then it's meant to be (so they say). But those words ain't pulling me through, Cos I'm still in love with you, I spend each day here waiting for a miracle, But it's just you and me going through the mill (climbin' up a hill)..._

Jack closed his eyes and stopped what he was doing, letting the music flow around the room, sending a swell of emotions through him at how close to home the song hit. He blinked back the tears that filled his eyes and headed into the living room. He found a box labelled 'Random' and rolled his eyes at himself before opening it up and freezing. On top of the items in the box was a receipt with 'J&I 6/12/00' scrawled on the bottom. He chuckled as he lifted it up and shook his head. This should have been in his 'bean box', a box in which he held every present, ticket stub, receipt or little tacky gift Ianto had bought for him, or from dates they had been on. He even had a copy of their Civil Partnership Certificate in it. Of all the things to come loose: a receipt from their first date. He wasn't sure how it had survived the cleaning out of his room (or ten years) but hell, that date had been so perfect.

**6****th**** December 2000**

Jack and Ianto sat in a nice yet not outrageously expensive restaurant by Cardiff Bay. It was a chilly night with a clear sky, and all the stars were visible, twinkling merrily in the sky. Jack smiled across the table at Ianto as the Welshman told an anecdote from his childhood. So far they had mostly compared their families and discussed how close-knit they were.

"-and guess what was in the garage!" Ianto laughed.

Jack quirked an eyebrow. "A pterodactyl that fell through a rift in time and space?"_  
_

Ianto laughed. "Don't be silly!"

"Well?" Jack asked, smiling indulgently.

"A rat, a bloody HUGE rat."

Jack laughed. "Your Tad sounds brilliant!"

"He is." Ianto was cut off as the waiter arrived with their food. They ate in relative silent, talking in sporadic intervals about their courses at university or comparing notes over lecturers. They both agreed that their business lecturer needed to get a life, as he spent half the time complaining about the tax man. After Jack had picked up the bill (despite Ianto's objections, which Jack had ruled out: "I asked you out, so I'll pay"), Ianto slipped his hand into Jack's and they walked out past the pubs and restaurants to a little café where they both bought a coffee, which Ianto insisted on paying for, before they walked down the steps onto the pier near the abandoned tourist office and walked along the Bay.

"So," Ianto smiled, one hand still wrapped tightly in Jack's, the other holding his coffee to his lips to let the warm steam flow onto them.

"So," Jack answered.

"You know... I _liked_ you the first day of lectures." Ianto blushed as he confessed.

Jack smiled. "So it was _your_ eyes I could feel burning a hole in the back of my head?"

Ianto smiled softly. "I guess."

Turning to face the Welshman, Jack removed Ianto's coffee from his hand and placed both cups on top of the steps out side the Welsh Assembly buildings before pulling Ianto down to sit between his legs on the steps and pointing up at the sky.

"That's Orion's belt," Jack said as he traced a line through the air, following a section of three stars.

The Welshman leaned his head back on Jack's chest comfortably and allowed the other man to show him the stars. "So where's Sirius?"

Jack pointed to an extremely bright star, by far the brightest in the sky. "Right there."

"It's so bright."

Jack smiled and tilted Ianto's head to face him, and the Welshman turned his body to accommodate the new position.

"You're beautiful," Jack murmured before leaning in and pressing a gentle kiss to the Welshman's cold lips, sending an instant bolt of heat through Ianto's body. They pulled back and stared into each others eyes for a moment before they smiled and leaned in to kiss again, this one more passionate than the first.

When Jack had dropped Ianto off that night, he had pulled the meal receipt out from his wallet and scrawled 'J&I 6/12/00' along the bottom before placing it in a shoe box simply labelled 'Ianto'.

**Present.**

_This is the long goodbye, Somebody tell me why, Two lovers in love can't make it, Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart? No matter how hard I try, You're gonna make me cry, Come on, baby, it's over, let's face it, All that's happening here is a long goodbye._

Jack smiled softly and ran his fingers over the receipt, letting his tears fall.

* * *

Ianto was curled up on the sofa. As he had been wandering around the flat earlier, he had found an old t-shirt of Jack's in the linen bin and plucked it out. It still smelled of Jack. Now, curled up on the sofa, he had the t-shirt clutched in his hands and a mug of hot chocolate on the table before him as he stared at the blank TV. He grabbed a small remote off the table and flicked the radio on, letting the remnant of a song filter around the room, drowning out his own thoughts.

_Sometimes I ask my heart did we really, Give our love a chance (just one more chance) and I know without a doubt. We turned it inside out, And if we walked away, would make more sense (only self defense), But it tears me up inside, Just to think we still could try. How long must we keep riding on a carousel, Going round and round and never getting anywhere? (on a wing and prayer)._

He closed his eyes and fought back the tears. Such a song should not be allowed to play when he was in this mood. Deciding he couldn't just lay here, he walked into the bedroom and started to change the sheets from earlier. He practically tore the sheets from the bed and shoved them in the washing machine and stared around the flat. As soon as he pressed the start button, aside from the t-shirt and photos, all essence of Jack would be gone from the flat. Ianto closed his eyes as it dawned on him that he was alone. He hadn't been alone for seven years.

_This is the long goodbye, Somebody tell me why, Two lovers in love can't make it. Just what kind of love keeps breaking a heart? No matter how hard I try, You're gonna make me cry, Come on, baby, it's over, Let's face it. All that's happening here is the long goodbye._

**5****th**** November 2003.**

"Jack! Stop it!" Ianto laughed as the American blew a raspberry on Ianto's stomach. It was a Saturday morning. They'd been graduated from university for four months. Both had been fortunate enough to have job offers before they graduated and had started work a week after moving back home. Jack had lived with John Hart and Owen Harper in the holidays after his family where killed in a traffic accident during his second year of university. Ianto had moved home for about two months before managing to save up enough money to rent a flat of his own, whereupon he had promptly moved back into Cardiff.

"And if I don't?"

"Then I'll have to exact my revenge..."

"By doing what?"

"This." Ianto grinned as he flipped them over and tickled Jack. His attack was merciless and he soon had Jack begging him between laughter to stop. Several minutes later, both of them still chuckling but exhausted, Ianto pushed himself off the bed and moved into the bathroom, noting Jack's toothbrush and toothpaste by the sink, his razor on the window sill, his aftershave (barely used) next to his own. Hurrying quickly into the bedroom, he ripped open the wardrobe doors and noted a good selection of Jack's clothes were there as well. He turned to the bed were the American lay, his quizzical eyes watching Ianto.

"What's wrong?"

Ianto smiled and jumped onto the bed, straddling Jack's hips and staring down at him with an expression of pure love in his eyes. "Move in with me."

Jack's eyes widened. "Excuse me?"

"Move in with me," Ianto repeated. "You practically live here anyway; the only thing missing is your dirty laundry, because you take that to Owen and John's place."_  
_

"You sure?"

"Never been more sure of anything in my life."

Jack beamed. "Yes."

Grinning, Ianto met Jack's lips in a passionate kiss.

**Present.**

_The long goodbye, The long goodbye, This is the long goodbye...Someone please tell me why. Are you ever coming back again. Are you ever coming back again. Are you ever coming back again. Guess I'm never coming back again..._

Ianto sobbed as he sank to the floor, nudging the washing machine's 'start' button as he slid. "It's over," he whispered.

* * *

Jack sat amidst a pile of boxes, the battered old shoe box in his lap. The lid was on top of the nearby couch and the tear tracks on the American's face had long since dried. He rummaged in the box and smiled indulgently as he removed a photograph. Jack was holding Ianto's left hand in front of them as they smiled at the camera: the day he'd asked Ianto Jones for a Civil Partnership.

**28****th**** October 2004**

The fourth anniversary of the day they'd met. Jack smiled softly as he placed the bacon sandwiches, two mugs of coffee and a single red rose upon the tray in an uncharacteristic display of romance before carrying the laden tray through to the bedroom. Ianto was still fast asleep in the bed, so he gently set the tray down and sat on the bed. He lay down beside the Welshman and kissed his bare shoulder.

"Morning, gorgeous."

Ianto groaned, sleep-addled and confused for a moment before Jack kissed him lovingly on the lips.

"Bora da," Ianto mumbled.

"I made breakfast."

Ianto's eyes snapped open. "What did you do to the coffee machine?"

Jack smiled. "Nothing, I promise."

Ianto rolled his eyes, but pushed himself into a sitting position and smiled as Jack placed the tray on his lap. "What's the special occasion?"

Jack laughed gently. "Hmm, lets see... Fours years ago today, I chucked piping hot coffee all over you."

"And you want to celebrate that?"

"Well, rather it's celebrating the day we met."

Ianto nodded and took a sip of the coffee, trying to hide his grimace. Jack was a master chef, but what he did to coffee Ianto was sure must be illegal worldwide. He smiled when Jack took his own sandwich and took a bite as Ianto did the same. They ate in silence, Jack casting furtive glances at Ianto. He had to wait for the perfect moment: Tosh had said so. The plates clean, they sat together kissing intermittently. Jack was growing impatient, waiting for Ianto to finish his coffee. Some twenty minutes later, he groaned.

"You gonna drink that or what?"

Ianto pulled a face. "I'm sorry, Jack, but you cannot make coffee to save your life. This is undrinkable." Jack was about to protest when Ianto continued. "Let me get rid of these, then I'll brew us some fresh cups and we can pick up where we left off."

That said, Ianto climbed out of bed and headed into the en-suite before Jack could protest. In the bathroom, the Welshman pulled the leaver to open the plug and tipped the coffee down the grid-free plug, jumping when Jack cried from the doorway:

"NO, don't!"

Ianto turned and stared at Jack, who was frozen in horror in the doorway. "Oh shit, I'm sorry, Jack; I didn't know it meant that much to you."

"It's not about the coffee, Yan." Jack sighed and took a deep breath. " You... You just threw a two thousand pound engagement ring down the drain."

Ianto's jaw dropped.

An hour later, Jack and Ianto were fully dressed and sat in the bedroom as the plumber worked on finding the ring. Occasionally Ianto would turn to gape at Jack. They both knew that in a few days time they'd be laughing about this. But in that moment, Ianto was still mortified at what he'd done and Jack was debating if it was a sign that he shouldn't ask Ianto.

"Here we go gentlemen." The plumber appeared, holding the grime-laden ring. "You were lucky; it got caught on a bolt head."

Jack smiled and took the ring in his hand, turning and dropping to one knee before he lost his nerve. Ianto locked his eyes with the American's and smiled softly when Jack took his left hand, looking extremely nervous.

"Ianto Jones. I can't live without you in my life. I love you. Will you be my Civil Partner?"

Ianto nodded. "Yes. Yes, I will. IF you give that a rinse before putting it on my finger."

**Present.**

Looking back, Jack wondered what had happened to them over the years. He still loved Ianto; he always would. He climbed to his feet and smiled sadly. "It's over. I just gotta face it."


	14. Chapter 14

**AN- Sorry for the 24 hour delay, FF wouldn't let me upload last night :(**

**So, I've decided that posting will begin too take place on a Friday, simply because it's easier for myself and Rietta to edit and beta on this day :) Chapters 15 and 16 are written and with Rietta, Chapter 17 is in progress, 18, 19 and 20 are planned FYI.**

**A Massive THANK YOU to all who have reviewed and read or added to an alert, I love reading your responses XD they make me smile.**

**A HUGE HUGE Thank you to Rietta for Wicked, JB hyperness and the many many 'moment' idea's for this story XD**

Chapter 14- I never could turn away from you

Jack Harkness had come to recognise when a certain event would lead him to make an important decision. The first time he had met Ianto Jones and thrown coffee on him had been one of them. Okay, so it wasn't the _most_ important decision he had ever had to make, but it had led to a pretty big part of his life. So when he had moved out and more or less ended his relationship with Ianto, even if it was not legally dissolved _yet_ it didn't mean it didn't hurt.

The pain didn't come for a few days. Well, he'd been hurting for a while actually, but the realisation, the acute stinging 'Oh my god it's actually _over_' pain came around 14:23pm on Tuesday 3rd August when the solicitor rang him to confirm details of the first meeting. Despite everything, it was that phone call that made it _real_.

The American leaned his head against the brick wall and glanced at the intern next to him. The kid had started a week ago and was a curious one: eager to learn but he kept to himself. The intern smiled and glanced at Jack before reaching into his pocket and offering him a cigarette.

"You look like you could use one mate."

Jack glanced at the packet and took one. He'd never smoked before, but he'd do anything to numb the pain. Alcohol didn't work and neither did painkillers. Maybe this little stick would. The kid smiled, offered Jack his lighter and waited for Jack to spark up. Jack did; he gave the lighter back to the intern and watched as he gave a casual salute before heading back inside.

The American gazed at the stick he held in his hand, little wisps of smoke travelling upwards and disappearing from view. He was startled out of his thoughts when a man appeared, snatched the cigarette out of his hands, dropped it to the floor and crushed it before Jack had even raised it to his lips.

"Don't start. Nothing is _ever _so bad you need to smoke."

Jack raised his eyebrows and gazed at the man before him. "Hello Adam."

* * *

The 19th August dawned bright and sunny. It was so hot Ianto actually thought about going to work in his birthday suit; but then he changed his mind. Actually, he realised he wasn't due back at work until next week and curled up on top of the covers again.

He must have drifted off again because the next time he opened his eyes it was gone ten in the morning; he hadn't slept that late since university. Deciding to get up, he walked into the living area and sat on the couch. The silence in the flat was deafening and he realised he was alone. There was no birthday kiss, cuddle or greeting. No Jack smiling at him and telling him it wouldn't be long 'til he was 'over the hill'. Just silence: an empty flat that seemed to feel as cold and alone as he felt inside. He took a deep breath and reached for the landline to speak to someone- anyone- and remind himself he was not alone. He was just about to lift the receiver when it rang, startling him.

"Hello?"

"_Happy Birthday, son!_"

"Tad," Ianto greeted, smiling to himself.

"_Are you okay?_"

Ianto took a deep breath before answering. "Not brilliant, but I'm okay."

"_I'd have rung earlier, but your mother said to let you sleep in. Anyway, we were planning to take you out for dinner tonight._"

"Yeah, sure. Sounds nice."

"_Are you sure you're okay?_"

"Yeah, Tad; the phone ringing startled me." It wasn't a lie, Ianto reasoned to himself, just not the _real _reason.

"_Okay, well, we'll pick you up at seven thirty."_

"Okay, see you then."

"_Love you, son._"

"You too, Tad. Bye." Ianto hung up the phone and suddenly felt more alone than ever before. He lay down on the couch and pulled the afghan that was draped over the back of the couch over himself, reaching for the remote. He needed some noise in the flat.

* * *

It took him a moment to recognise the hammering on his door. He glanced at the clock and was shocked to see it was gone four in the afternoon; he hadn't even noticed the time passing by. The Welshman pushed himself off the couch and stumbled to the front door, the afghan trailing behind him. Upon opening it he was shocked to see Tosh and Owen, John and Donna, Gwen and Rhys but no Jack- though he wasn't sure why he expected the American to be there.

"Happy Birthday!" they chorused together, popping party poppers into the doorway. Donna grinned and threw coloured ribbon over his face.

"Go away!" Ianto shut the door in their faces and headed back towards the bedroom. The last thing he wanted to do was celebrate the first birthday were he had woken up alone; the first day that he had actually realised a part of him was missing.

There was a click as the lock turned, then Tosh walked through the door and grinned "Present time!"

The apathetic Welshman grunted and headed to bedroom to escape his friends. John laughed and ushered everyone through the door into the flat, nudging Donna with his hip. "Go and sort out Grumpy Pants whilst we decorate, will you?"

Gwen looked up. "No, I'll go," she smiled. "He might not be comfortable with someone he doesn't really know going and getting him."

Donna raised an eyebrow at the Welshwoman. "It's fine; I've been through this."

Tosh shook her head. "No, I think it would be better-"

The brash Londoner cut her off. "Look, I may not know Ianto very well yet, but I've been through this. I've wanted to do the whole 'hide away and ignore everyone' routine. Maybe I can talk some sense into him."

Tosh and Gwen shared a look. Donna had a point. Neither of them had been through it, but maybe- just maybe- Donna could snap Ianto out of this funk.

"Are you sure?"

"I can try." She smiled

The group settled in the front room and began decorating with streamers and banners as Donna hurried off to get Ianto out of bed and into some kind of good mood.

"Up you get lamb chop!" she said, looking at the lump under the duvet.

"No. I don't feel like celebrating."

Donna sighed. "You know... if you don't get up, I'll let John make the coffee."

Ianto didn't respond. It was a definite sign that the Welshman wasn't right, that he was going to willingly let someone else make the coffee in his own apartment. Donna didn't know him very well, but John had given her vague descriptions of all his friends and filled her in on the situation with Jack and Ianto. His description of Ianto rang through her mind. _'He's protective of two things, Jack and the coffee machine- don't ever try and get between them! Of course, it's all going tits up with Jack and Ianto at the moment, but they're strong. He's also extremely intelligent, and handsome to boot... If he didn't have a conscience he'd be dangerous_.

She sighed sadly and sat down on the bed beside the lump, nudging it with a hip.

"Are you going to let Jack win?"

Ianto moved the duvet down to peer at her over the top of it. "What do you mean?"

The fiery redhead nodded at him. "Look at yourself. You're hiding from the world, refusing to celebrate your birthday. Look, I don't know the full story, I just know Jack moved out; but Tosh filled me in that you want to win him back. How do you expect to do that if you spend your time a blubbering fool in your bedroom? You want to look _amazing_ the next time you see him; let him believe that this hasn't affected you at all."

The Welshman quirked an eyebrow at her. "How did you become an expert?"

Donna laughed. "I was jilted at the alter by a guy I was madly in love with. I was doing my best to win him back when I met John."

Ianto looked at her. "I don't _want_ anyone but Jack."

"Then you need to prove that to him. From an 'outsider's' point of view, the fact that you're trying to win him back suggests to me that you were the one to do something wrong."

Ianto nodded. "Well Jack says it's not my fault, but I forgot his birthday; I started all the arguments."

Donna smiled. "Well, you need to recognise and work through what went wrong before you can fix it."

Ianto nodded. "I know."

"It'll happen in its own time. Now, I say you get dressed lamb chop, and we go out there and greet everyone properly. You're being selfish."

Ianto chuckled softly, the first time he had shown mirth in days.

"Okay. Can I shower and change first?"

"Sure thing. Off you pop."

Donna left the room and gave a thumbs up to everyone as she took in the room. Presents and a cake were piled high and party poppers decorated the table whilst streamers and "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" banners adorned the walls. John blew up the last balloon, tied it and then batted it away from him, whereupon it joined several balloons on the chair.

Ianto appeared in the doorway and laughed when Tosh, who had been lighting the candles on the cake, began to sing loudly with the others.

"Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Ianto! Happy birthday to you!"

The Welshman blushed and allowed Donna and Owen to drag him onto the couch, where he was encouraged to blow out the candles and make a wish. He wasn't the superstitious type, but he'd need all the help he could get winning Jack back. So he closed his eyes and whispered quietly _"I wish I could make it right"_ before he blew out the candles in one breath. His friends cheered and gathered round him as Rhys called: "Present time."

Owen nodded and produced a small package and card from the table. Everyone fell silent, no-one recognising it.

"This is from Jack," the Londoner smiled at Ianto. "He asked me to pass it on, along with his apologies that he couldn't make it with us all. We did invite him, but he had something to do at work."

Ianto nodded, knowing deep down that Jack hadn't wanted to make it awkward. He accepted the package from Owen and opened the card gently. He removed the card from the envelope and chuckled. On the front was a picture of a bright yellow duck and the writing, going down in a list, read _'This is a skinny, triple birthday, one fold, no foam, Venti. Caramel topped, Dolce cardde... no whip.'_ he chuckled and opened it up where the inside read '_From StarDucks of course!' _Jack had added his own drawing of a steaming coffee cup and the words 'Have a great day, Ianto. Love, Jack.'

Ianto smiled and placed the card on the table before turning to the package. He'd recognise Jack's wrapping style anywhere: neatly folded and tied with perfect bows. He carefully unwrapped the present, causing the others to roll their eyes at him, but he just smiled. He inhaled sharply when he saw the name of the watchmaker he had used for Jack's own watch. He flipped the lip open and stared, stunned, at the gorgeous stopwatch in the case. So absorbed by the watch was he that he missed the stunned glances his friends sent each other as they saw what was inside.

"Well, that must have cost a pretty penny!" John whistled through his teeth.

"Tell me about it," Tosh murmured.

Ianto looked at his friends in shock. "He...bloody hell!" he muttered.

* * *

Ianto walked into Jack's building, the stopwatch clutched protectively in his inside pocket. He had been meaning to come and thank Jack all day. He knew coming around at ten-thirty at night was probably a bit risky but he really needed to thank him. He had contemplated coming before the meal with his family, but then by the time all his friends had left he'd had less than an hour to get ready. The Welshman headed up the stairs at a quick jog, a part of him eager to see Jack and another part ever so slightly nervous. He reached the landing and watched as the lights flickered on. He laughed softly to himself as he noticed that he had just missed the lift, which pinged its arrival onto that floor. The doors slid open and Ianto felt his heart thud. His mouth drop open and a startled yelp escaped him.

Jack was in the lift.

With someone.

Kissing that someone.

At Ianto's yelp they broke apart and the 'someone' turned to face Ianto- who found himself looking into the eyes of Adam Smith.

"Ianto!" The colour drained from Jack's face as he took in the horrified Welshman.

Ianto didn't respond. He just turned on his heels and fled.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN- Again, sorry about the delay. Rietta and I got distracted plotting last night and we finished a bit too late to be posting a chapter.**

**I am officially hiding behind a hoard of Torchwood and John Barrowman posters. *sticks out tongue***

**16 and 17 are written, but changes are in progress, 18, 19, 20 and 21 are plotted- see I was a busy bee last night.:)**

**Massive thank you to Rietta for…well **_**everything.**_** I have several things to say and I feel bad about breaking the 3 chain we normally use, but…*takes breath* Wicked, Concert, Concert, Panto, Panto! And somewhere in there should be TTN and Torchwood XD**

**Let me know what you think – Massive thank you to everyone who as reviewed, alerted and favourited, I hope this answers some of your questions.**

Chapter 15- How can you smile at me now after the ugly words we used?

Gethin Jones was not a violent man. Actually, he hated violence so much that when raising his children he had never once raised his hand to them when they were disobedient. He had perfected an expression which his children had referred to as 'the Look'; and it had done the trick. Now his children were grown up. His daughter, his eldest child, was married and had children of her own, and he knew she was heading down the same path he had, having taken 'the Look' and give it a woman's touch. His son, however, was a different story. This was the only time he had ever considering slapping some sense into _either _of his children in the whole thirty-one years he'd been a father.

His wife Karyn, sensing how he felt and not wanting her husband to break with his morals, made an executive decision to go round to Ianto's and slap some sense into him with her handbag on Gethin's behalf; and her own, if she were honest. The stupid, stupid boy.

That was what led her to be in front of Ianto's flat at midday on the 21st August. She knew it wasn't long since his birthday, but she needed to have this talk with him before Jack left for Japan. She had every intention of going to speak to the American as well, but she needed to speak to her son first. She raised her hand and knocked on the door. It opened surprisingly quickly and she was pleased to see Ianto looking a bit more like his old self: he had shaved, he was dressed in jeans and a shirt, and he'd had a haircut.

"Mam!" He seemed rather shocked to see her.

"How are you, dear?"

"I'm fine, how are you and Tad?"

"Oh, well. You know. Same old."

Ianto chuckled. "Tea? Coffee?"

Karyn looked at her youngest child. Despite looking a damn sight better than when she'd seen him on his birthday, he still looked forlorn and she hated to be the one that had to force him to wake up and accept what had happened. She did love Jack, she always would, but Ianto was _her _son and she couldn't let him get away with thinking in the manner he was. She shook her head in answer to his question and sat herself down on the couch, patting the seat beside her.

"We need to talk, Cariad."

The Welshman raised an eyebrow. "Mam..." As he spoke, he seated himself on the couch next to her and suddenly, the Welshwoman was reminded of when he had come out to her over twelve years ago.

"Ianto, can you really not see what we all can?"

He looked at his mother, confused at first because he wasn't quite sure what she was talking about until she nodded gently in the direction of the Civil Partnership picture that still resided on his mantelpiece.

"What about it?"

Karyn eyed her son for a moment. "You- well, for want of a better word- fucked up, son."

Ianto stayed silent, hurt and angry that his mother appeared to be blaming _him_ for the mess his relationship had turned into in the last few months. Karyn could see the hurt that flashed in her son's eyes and decided to take the matter into her own hands.

"So, want to tell me what went wrong?"

"He was cheating on me, Mam. I'm sure of it. He kept denying it, but there was just so much evidence against him."

"Are you sure?"

Ianto nodded sadly. "There were only two times I really saw it, but it's a bit of a story."

Karyn smiled gently at her son. "Tell me."

* * *

**8****th**** January 2010.**

It was around twelve in the afternoon when Ianto heard the comment. Two people talking quietly in the kitchenette at 'Tyler and Hart'.

"Did you hear?" he heard a woman's voice ask. "Hart has a_ meeting_ with Jack Harkness over at 'Smith, Smith and Lethbridge-Stewart'"

Ianto hadn't stopped to hear any more. He hurried back to his office and glanced at the clock. Jack hadn't mentioned any recent contracts with 'Tyler and Hart'; and the way that woman had mentioned it, it seemed far more than a normal meeting. He glanced at the clock and decided to keep himself busy so he could get home quicker- or at least make it seem like he would be going home quicker.

A few hours later he walked into the flat. He closed the door quietly and smiled to himself when he heard the gentle sounds of the television in the living area. He dumped his coat on the hooks by the door and glanced at Jack, who was curled up on the couch in sweat pants and t-shirt, a plain white bowl on his lap. Eyes narrowed, Ianto headed to the bedroom, which he found in a state of disarray: Jack's suit was all over the place, like he'd ripped it from himself... or someone had done it for him.

* * *

A few weeks later, Ianto walked in from work just as Jack hung up the phone in a rather hurried manner. He blinked at his husband uncertainly.

"Who was that?"

Jack smiled tightly. _Like he's afraid he was caught,_ Ianto's brain supplied.

"Work," Jack answered. "Good day?"

"Well it was..."

The American raised a questioning eyebrow. "Was?"

"Yeah." Ianto walked closer. "Until I came home and found my partner acting all suspicious."

"I'm not being suspicious."

"Oh come off it, Harkness. Who was on the fucking phone?"

Jack blinked. "Ianto..."

"No, who is he? Or is it a she? Are you having second thoughts suddenly? I tell you, if you wanted to sleep around with other people you could have dumped me first!"

The American was momentarily stunned into silence. But Ianto didn't see that: all he could see was Jack looking guilty.

"I'm _not_ cheating on you, Ianto!"

"Then who was on the phone?"

"It was work stuff! You know some of that is confidential."

"Bullshit," Ianto snarled and stormed to the bedroom.

**Present.**

Karyn looked at her son as he finished recounting the story. "Are you sure you didn't read too much into it? Jack loves you, you know."

Ianto sighed. "I'm sure."

"Well, you can't be that sure."

The Welshman raised his eyebrows. "How's that?"

His mother smiled at him. "Because you want him back. Now recite the story again, slowly. Examine every detail."

Ianto did as he was told. He told the story again, being careful not to miss a single detail, but something wasn't ringing right. Why was his mother so adamant that he was missing something? Did she know something he didn't? It was on the second retelling that his mother began to ask questions.

"So you entered the flat, hung up your coat and then what?"

**8****th**** January 2010.**

Ianto entered the flat. The soothing sounds of the television echoed from the living area. He hung up his coat and placed his briefcase on the floor. As he walked past the entrance to the living room he paused and glanced at Jack, dressed in his sweat pants and a ragged t-shirt, with a white ceramic bowl balanced on his lap. A silver spoon was resting on the bowl and the smell, the smell of mash-

* * *

**Present.**

"Fuck!" Ianto gasped. "I missed the mashed potato... How the hell did I miss the mashed potato!"

His mother clearly thought he'd gone insane, but he was on a roll. "Oh my god, Mam what have I done? I accused him of cheating on me; I thought he was betraying our vows when he'd had a shitty day! He only eats mashed potato when he's thoroughly depressed. Oh my god!" Ianto was obviously upset with himself but he carried on speaking. "God... How must it have looked to him? I didn't speak to him, Mam- I didn't even kiss him hello! I just locked myself in the study and worked all night!"

* * *

**8****th**** January 2010**

Jack watched out of the corner of his eye as Ianto stopped in the doorway and glanced at him. He was about to smile and greet his partner when Ianto walked off. A minute or two later, he heard the door of the study open and then close, a sign that Ianto didn't want to be disturbed. He sighed quietly to himself. Well, there went his thoughts of a nice cosy evening to push aside his worries for the night. SSLS was in hell. He was sure of it: the last few months had been constant meetings and arguments with other companies over the contracts. Today had been the worst. He'd had to arrange a loan from 'Tyler and Hart' for SSLS to save the company, and now all he wanted was to curl up in Ianto's arms and let the Welshman kiss everything away. Well, that was out the question. He sighed and scooped more of the mash and gravy onto the spoon and turned back to the mind-numbing television show.

**Present.**

Karyn eyed her son: he was beyond comforting. She sighed sadly and gathered him into her arms, stroking his hair as she had done when he was younger. It took well over forty minutes for him to calm down enough for her to coax him into his bedroom.

"Thank you Mam." Ianto's voice was quiet.

She smiled and ran her hand through his hair, pulling the covers up over him. She hadn't bothered to get him to get changed; he was too exhausted. The Welshwoman kissed his head tenderly and watched as he drifted off to sleep.

"You're welcome Cariad. It's what mothers are for."

* * *

Jack looked around his flat. Finally finished, decorated and furnished. He smiled with a sense of pride at the flat and was about to settle back onto the couch with a bottle of beer when a knock came at the door. He glanced at the clock and frowned. Too early to be the Chinese. He moved to the door and pulled it open, whereupon he found himself face to face with his soon-to-be-ex mother-in-law.

"We need to talk," she smiled at him.

"Fuck." Jack groaned and opened the door to admit her.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN- Okay, sorry about the delay again. Some of you may want to lunge for the tissue boxes before reading this :) but I hope you enjoy it anyway. Now, this chapter was nearly put as a 'deleted scene' :p because I didn't think it was very good, but Rietta convinced me to put it in. Song lyrics belong to Elton John, Air Supply and Scissor Sisters and they haven't been beta'd for this chapter.  
**

**Many, many thanks too those who have reviewed/commented/favourited/alerted so far, This chapter is dedicated to all of you. Your comments make my muse write faster. As of right now: 17 is written, 18 and 19 are in progress, 20 and 21 are written (don't ask) and 22-27 are plotted...don't you love my muse XD **

**A huge HUGE thank you, thank you, thank you to Rietta, Rietta, Rietta for Wigan, Wigan, Wigan, Northampton, Northampton, Northampton and Newport, Wrexham, Comic Con XD PS (it's HER fault I'm talking in three's *pouts*)**

**Let me know what you think XD  
**

Chapter 16- My weakness is that I care too much.

The meeting with the solicitors was scheduled for the 28th August, and Jack was due to leave for Japan five days after.

The morning of the 28th dawned grey and rainy- even the weather seemed to have picked up on Ianto's mood. Many times over the last few weeks, since his mothers visit, Ianto had picked up the phone to dial Jack to apologise and talk about what had happened. Sadly, he'd get half way through the number and chicken out. After several failed attempts, he'd tried text messages, e-mails and hand written letters, but each time it was the same: he'd delete the e-mail, not post the letter (he had a rather nice collection of them building in his bedside cabinet), and the text messages would be deleted.

* * *

Jack climbed into his car at 2.30pm to head to the meeting. He'd made a point of avoiding Ianto since the incident in the lift and even more so after Ianto's mother had been round to speak to him. That had been an interesting conversation. Apparently she'd been round to slap some sense into her son and they'd had a talk in which Ianto had _finally_ realised what he'd done wrong. But then Karyn had told Jack something he'd never known about Ianto. At the age of seventeen, the Welshman had had a girlfriend, a lovely girl apparently, or she'd seemed to be: Ianto had been besotted with her. They had been together for eighteen months when Ianto had gone round to see her and found her in bed with his best friend. It sounded typically cliché to Jack, and as much as he _wished_ Ianto had told him this, because it did explain Ianto's recent paranoia to some extent, it just didn't explain the _cause_ of the recent paranoia; this new needy Ianto was _not _the partner he fell in love with. The American sighed, noticed that he'd been sat in the car for five minutes and turned the engine on to head for 'Venerare' for the 3pm meeting.

He parked the car at the restaurant some fifteen minutes later and locked the vehicle before heading inside. The restaurant was a romantic setting, and Jack rolled his eyes at the situation: he was in no doubt that this was a last ditch effort by the solicitors, Carys and Susie, to get he and Ianto back together. He spotted his partner sat in the corner of the room, staring intently at his untouched pint of Brains. Jack ordered himself a water and went over to Ianto.

"Afternoon."

Ianto glanced up from the not-so-fascinating spot on the glass and smiled nervously up at Jack. "How are you?"

"I should be asking you that- I heard your Mam paid you a visit."

"Yeah, it was nothing I didn't deserve though." He stopped himself from explaining everything to Jack: this was hardly the right time.

"When are Suzie and Carys coming?" Jack enquired.

"Any minute now."

* * *

They'd been talking for over half an hour. They were co-operative, agreeable, logical and, above all, still madly in love with each other. But they just wouldn't admit it. Jack was uncomfortable: sitting close to Ianto was bringing back memories, ones he had pushed to the back of his mind. Ianto wanted this: the American wouldn't make the Welshman live a life of misery just to make him, Jack, happy.

A rather strained silence had fallen between them as they contemplated their drinks. Jack wasn't sure whether he should buy another round or not, and Ianto was contemplating the best way to broach the subject of second chances and confessing what had started the whole incident without making Jack freak out. The American obviously wanted the dissolution; he wouldn't put Jack through a life of misery just to keep Ianto himself happy.

Jack inhaled sharply when a familiar song began to blare through the speakers, and almost on autopilot he offered his hand to Ianto. The song had been played a few times since they'd been together, and it usually coincided with anniversaries. It wasn't the Civil Partnership song, but it was the first song they'd danced to as a couple.

_My gift is my song and this ones for you, and you can tell everybody, this is your song, it maybe quite simple but, now that its done, I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is now you're in the world..._

"One dance? For old times sake."

Ianto smiled softly, nerves fluttering in his stomach. "Sure."

Jack led Ianto onto the dancefloor. The other couples ignored them and Jack was too busy savouring the moment to be bothered with anyone that did stare.

_I sat on the roof, and I kicked at the moss, well some of these verses, well they've, they got me quite cross, and the suns been kind, while I wrote this song, it's for people like you, that keep it turned on..._

Ianto held Jack close as they swayed to the music. He could remember when coming here was a regular occurrence for them, even if it was just for a quick drink and a dance; just a moment snatched in their hectically busy lives. A moment just to be with one another. He was startled out of his memories when he heard Jack's voice in his ear.

"_So excuse me forgetting, but these things I do...You see I forgotten if they're green or there blue, anyway the thing is, what I really mean...Yours are the sweetest eyes, I've ever see..."_

Not really thinking about it, Ianto cut Jack off and continued the song in Jacks place.

"_-And you can tell everybody, this is your song, it may be quite simple but, now that it's done_

_I hope you don't mind, I hope you don't mind, that I put down in words, how wonderful life is now you're in the world. I hope you don't mind, oh! I hope you don't mind, that put down in words, how wonderful life is now you're in the world."_

They continued to sway on the spot, holding each other close and completely lost in the feeling of having the other in their arms. The opening strains of 'All Out Of Love' floated around the room, but still they didn't let go of one another. Ianto pulled his head back to look into Jack's eyes and was sure that the tears he could see brimming would mirror his own.

_I'm all out of love, I'm so lost without you, I know you where right, believing for so long, I'm all out of love, what am I without you, I can't be too late to say that I was so wrong._

Jack smiled softly at Ianto and pulled him closer again as they swayed to the music.

Suzie sighed as she watched them on the dancefloor. She glanced at her companion and rolled her eyes, feeling sorry for the couple.

"They're daft."

"I know, Carys, but what can we do?"

"Bang their heads together?"

"I dunno, they might like that." The deadpan wit was delivered in such a way that Carys snorted into her drink before shoving Suzie in the shoulder.

Ianto leaned in and placed a brief kiss on Jack's lips. He felt an answering pressure and let his hands cup the American's cheek as they continued to sway. The song changed again and Jack noticed it was slightly more upbeat than the last two.

_'...Life seems so much slower, with your toothbrush by the mirror, can I make it any clearer, and I just might say it tonight, and I just say it tonight, and I just might, tell you tonight that I love you, and you should stay all my life.'_

As the song played out over the room Jack could feel his heart rate increasing: the panic, the realisation that if he didn't leave right _now _he'd beg Ianto to take him back. He couldn't do that to the Welshman: they hadn't been happy for a while and it was Ianto who had instigated a lot of that. Despite what Karyn had said to Jack about Ianto's reasoning, it didn't really change things. Ianto had _hurt _him; he hadn't fought for Jack. He pulled back suddenly and stared at Ianto, who was staring back at him wide-eyed.

"Sorry," Jack choked, "I gotta go."

_'And I just might say it tonight, and I just might say it tonight, and I just might tell you tonight that I love you, and you should stay all my life..."_


	17. Chapter 17

**A/N- Again, sorry I'm late, So, more questions to be answered in this chapter. Things shall be a bit more clearer. For the record, Pots, pans and any other implement to beat the boys to death with are provided by Rietta at M&M store ltd. **

**A huge thank you to you all, you've been brilliant. **

**Chapter update: 18 and 19 are in progress and 20 and 21 are written. **

**A huge, cheesecake sized thank you to Rietta for her patience, determination and for being my tower of strength. Welcome to Wigan- the sun is shining, the birds are NOT tweeting ( I think they're in hiding) and Lymetree farm awaits XD here's to Northampton, Wrexham and London XD XD XD**

Chapter 17- You're the part of me I can't let go.

"Japan, here I come," were the first words that left Jack's mouth on the morning of his departure that early September day. He wasn't quite sure if the fact that it was chucking it down in typical welsh fashion was a good or a bad thing. Hell, he wasn't sure of anything any more. He knew that he needed to do this; to get right away from everything and try to get his life back in perspective. Yet at the same time, he could still feel Ianto's disapproval of the idea of such distance holding him back. Would he ever be free of the influence of his soon-to-be-ex husband? More importantly, did he even want to be?

**3****rd**** August 2010 (Just after Adam stops Jack from smoking)**

"I didn't kiss him, you know," Adam volunteered after a long pause.

Jack started.

"Ianto?" the other man prompted. "You know, when we went on that date. I didn't kiss him. He clearly isn't over you, Jack."

The American frowned, studying the ground with exaggerated interest. "Well that's good to know," he responded at length.

Adam smiled. "We talked at lot on that 'date'," he added in the air-quotes for effect, "about how Ianto feels; about what he wants. But the question now is what about you, Jack? What do you want? How do you feel about all this?"

Jack sighed heavily. "I want things to go back to how they were before, when our relationship wasn't marred by all the accusations and arguments," he said petulantly. "But since I don't possess the power of time travel..." he paused for a moment. "How do I feel? Angry. Helpless. And hurt. So fucking hurt that I don't even know how I'm still standing here." Jack Harkness was not a man prone to tears, but his eyes swam with them now. Sympathetically Adam reached out to envelope the other man in a hug.

"It will get better," he whispered. "I promise. Ianto just needs some time to realise what an arse he's been."

Jack pulled back from the hug and smiled wryly. "Well that's one way of putting it."

Adam chuckled. "Admit it- you've called him worse in the privacy of your thoughts."

"Perhaps," Jack admitted. "Damn it! I hate him for what he's put me through, but I can't fucking stop loving him! God knows I've tried. But then I was always going to fail- because I don't want to stop._"_

**Present**

He snapped back to reality when the buzzer to the door sounded through the flat. He hurried to answer it, knowing it was Tosh and Owen to take him to the airport.

* * *

Ianto opened the door, mobile in hand and gazed at the woman in front of him.

"Did you call him yet?"

Ianto shook his head.

Donna Noble groaned. "Bonehead."

* * *

In the car, Tosh and Owen glanced at one another. They were both aware that Jack was obviously feeling guilty about something.

"You alright?"

Jack groaned. "I kissed Adam."

Tosh's jaw dropped and Owen swerved to the side of the road as Jack continued.

"And Ianto saw."

**19th August 2010**

**10:40pm**

"We shouldn't have done that," Jack groaned.

"Your regrets have nothing to do with the fact Ianto saw us?"

Jack groaned again. "Do you _have_ to remind me?"

"Well it happened_ two minutes ago_, I hardly think you've forgotten."

"No, I hadn't. I was trying to erase the entire event from my mind!"

"You know, you should go after him."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Really?"

Adam nodded. "Yeah, because then you can talk everything out. Explain."

"Explain to him that I went out with you on his birthday, got epically drunk because I had wanted to spend it with _him, _and snogged _you_ because I thought it would help _me_? Yeah, that'll go over well."

Adam sat down and pulled the distraught American down next to him. "It'll work out in the end."

Jack sighed. "I hope so."

**Present**

At the check in desk at Cardiff Airport Jack checked his baggage in and then turned to Tosh and Owen. "Well, I guess this is it."

Tosh sniffled and then launched herself into the American's arms. "You better come back to us."

"You know I will, my Princess."

"Don't go kissing any other Prince Charmings, my Frog."

Jack rolled his eyes. "Don't tempt me."

Tosh hugged the American tightly and pulled back, still sniffling. Owen glanced at Jack and then sighed before he moved to embrace him in a much more macho manner than Tosh.

"Stay safe."

"Always," Jack responded, patting Owen's shoulder before picking up his bag of hand luggage and with one last smile, he stepped through the security gates and headed for duty free.

* * *

Tosh and Owen were walking back towards the car when it happened. A blue car appeared out of nowhere, driving like it was on a rally race track. They recognised Ianto and Donna as they both jumped out of the car, which was parked across two spaces and blocking Owen in.

The Londoner glanced at his wife before he grabbed her arm. "Come on, this should be good."

Tosh nodded and followed her husband back into the airport, wondering just how they were going to make it through airport security without a boarding pass. She was about to voice her concerns when she noticed that airport security was not very secure at all. Both men and the woman who had been there when Jack had gone through were now gone.

"Well, there goes the terrorist prevention squad." She nodded at the gates.

Owen chuckled. "Works out well for us though."

"Not if we end up dead."

"Nah, we'll be fine. What kind of terrorists would want to attack Cardiff anyway?"

"Aliens?"

"You've been watching far too much Sci Fi my dear."

Tosh laughed. "You love me though."

"Always."

Up ahead, Ianto and Donna had entered the Duty Free terminal and were looking frantically around for the American. When Tosh and Owen entered the terminal they spotted the red haired Londoner and the Welshman straight away.

"He's been in here about ten minutes," Owen cried. "He can't have gone far."

After half an hour of the four of them splitting up and searching the airport, their search turned out fruitless: it was like the American had been sucked into a time vortex. They were just about to give up and head back to their cars when Tosh froze; she pointed in the direction of the gates and there he was. Jack Harkness, sipping coffee and heading through to his gate.

"JACK!" they all shouted and ran towards the gate. Owen, who had used his search to purchase several books and magazines, grinned: he thought he had a plan.

"Sir, you can't go through there," the security guard announced.

"I know, but look, my friend's just gone through and he left this bag. It has important documents on nationwide security; if I don't get through there now, he's going to be in Japan without the documents he needs."

The security guard eyed the bag. "You put nationwide security documents in a WH Smith bag?"

"It was all we had; plus it makes them look less conspicuous. _Please, sir."_

Seeing no reason other than their casual attire and the WH Smith bag to _not_ let them through, the security guard nodded. "Straight in, information passed and out; do you understand me?"

The foursome nodded.

* * *

At the gate, Jack was just sitting down to read his tattered edition of the Sherlock Holmes collection for the next ten minutes 'til his flight boarded, (being in first class and on a company trip had its advantages,) when he heard hurried footsteps entering the gate. His jaw dropped when before him Ianto, Donna, Tosh and Owen appeared. Ianto scanned the room, spotted him and broke into a relieved smile.

"Jack!"

Blinking, Jack glanced around the room, making sure that Ianto was actually talking to him, and not some random person. Deciding it was safe to believe it was he who was being addressed, he rose to his feet.

"What are you doing here? And exactly _how_ did you get through without a boarding pass?"

Blinking, Ianto shook his head and then he took a deep breath and looked Jack directly in the eye. Before he could speak, however, Owen jumped in front of them and grinned madly at Jack. "Look, you'll have to take this bag, otherwise we're dead."

Jack nodded and accepted the bag, too distracted by what Ianto needed to say to really question the Londoner. He turned back to the nervous Welshman as Ianto continued.

"There's something I need to say."

Jack glanced at the clock. "Then make it quick, yeah? I need to board in like five minutes."

Shaken, Ianto couldn't help but think this had all been a big mistake; but a sideways glance at Donna told him he would not be escaping without apologising.

"Look, I-" He paused and stumbled over his words- never before had Jack made him nervous.

Jack raised an eyebrow impatiently. "What?"

Deciding to just spit it out and take the tidal wave of insults, he did. "I'm _sorry. _So, so sorry. I've been a twat."

Jack seemed to pause for a moment and Ianto thought Jack would die of shock. But then the American snapped out of his daze and blinked at the Welshman before nodding, just once, a tiny dip of the head.

"Glad to know you've realised that."

Then, before anyone could say anything, Jack was gone.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN- *Begs for forgiveness* I'm so sorry this is late! But things got out of hand over Easter and then Rietta got sick, and I've had three essays in this week...**

**Right 19 is still in progress, but am working on it now:) 20 and 21 are written :) I also have a one shot that'll be going up soon...once I convince and bribe Rietta to beta it :)**

**Massive thank you to Rietta! Here's to Northampton, Cardiff and Wicked!**

**Hope you all enjoy it, Let me know what you think!**

Chapter 18- How far you are, but how near you seem to be.

The flight to Japan was slow. Jack had found his thoughts drifting from the criteria documents for the project to Ianto Jones. The man, Jack decided, had quickly become the bane of his existence and he meant that in the nicest way possible. The Welshman's dramatic apology had thrown Jack for a loop: he knew his response had been far from desirable but he couldn't quite bring himself to forgive Ianto, not yet. He might have found it in him had Ianto apologised pretty soon after his mother had gone to see him, but as it was… Never before had the Welshman got under his skin in such away; and perhaps, he thought, that was the problem. It wasn't that he didn't love Ianto anymore, it was that the _spark_ had gone. There was no electricity when they touched, no fire when they kissed: it had become boring. But the American still desired him, still _wanted_ Ianto.

He pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind and focused on the criteria, but the words soon began to blur together and he closed his eyes, just for a moment. He had to admit to himself that the last time he and Ianto had had sex there was definitely _something_ there- he had noticed the familiar coil in his stomach that had been missing from before. Not that sex had been the top of their agenda since... Actually, Jack couldn't remember the last time they had had sex before the day he moved out.

He spent ten minutes or so trying to recollect some memories and then he remembered the last time he and Ianto had had sex of any kind had been the Sunday before his birthday in March. He was startled when he recalled that he and Ianto had never stopped having _sex_, they had stopped _making love_. The last time they had made love had been the night Ianto had achieved his promotion in 2009. Then they entered a dry spell whilst Ianto got settled. The next time they had had sex, they had both been exhausted, but had fallen into bed and fucked. There had been no feeling in it. Nothing. It was just _sex_. The next time there had been any feelings in it was almost a year later, July just gone. He wasn't sure exactly how much time had passed, but it felt like mere moments later that an air steward was shaking him gently awake and asking if he would like tea or coffee with his meal.

After he had forced down the somewhat debatable pasta with chicken and bacon, he sank back in his chair and his thoughts once again drifted back to the Welshman.

* * *

The American's arrival in Japan and the subsequent meetings left little time for more reflection. So it was only later in the week when Jack sat down to e-mail everyone back home that he hit his dilemma. Should he delete Ianto from the e-mails or not? Should he bother communicating with him while he was 'half the world away', so to speak? He moved the cursor to hover over the delete button, but then thought better of it. It was _far_ too final. He groaned and opened up a new e-mail.

**To**: sarahjsmith(at)SSLS(.)co(.)uk

**From:** jackharknes-j(at)SSLS(.)co(.)uk

**CC**:

**Subject:** Project Uranus – Financial Yr 2010-2011

**Attachments:** Project Uranus-Finance 10/11 (Pluto)

Sarah-Jane,

Please find attached the financial outcomes for Project Uranus (yes, I did name it: I personally think this project is insane). Professional opinion of this project varies on a day to day basis: I see no support for this project and management is questionable. Let me know what you think; and can you contact Tyler and Hart about the financial report? (Second opinion only.) I can do basic maths, and somehow, an 8 million pounds building cannot be built with only 6 million pounds backing... Call me stupid if my maths is wrong on this.

For reference, 8 Million pounds is equal too 1053840000 Japanese Yen. (See, this makes me want to _live here)_

Anyway, how are Luke and the family?

All the best,

Jack

The e-mail to Sarah-Jane sent, Jack sank back in his chair and opened up a new e-mail adding Tosh, Owen, Gwen, Rhys, John and Ianto to the list before wondering what to write.

**To**: thedoctor(at)TARDIS(.)co(.)uk; spacepig81(at)TARDIS(.)co(.)uk; redlorryyellowlorry(at)blueyonder(.)co(.)uk; welshlass(at)blueyonder(.)co(.)uk; vera_hart(at)yahoo(.)co(.)uk; coffeebean(at)btinternet(.)co(.)uk

**From:** jackflash(at)btinternet(.)co(.)uk.

**CC**:

**Subject**: Coffee flavoured bananas

Konichiwa my dear friends in Wales!

How are you all? I'm sorry it took so long for me to get in touch with you all but since I arrived here, I've found myself in charge of a cage full of misbehaved monkeys who tend to always eat coffee and bananas- I kid you not; and don't get me started on the robots.

So, as you may have gathered from this e-mail, I arrived in Japan safely and with minimal scarring from the plane journey. The people were friendly enough, but I am not sure about the food. It reminded me of Gwen's cooking (no offence dear!)

Hart- you need to give me Donna's e-mail, otherwise you're going to spend the time passing on the information- I know what you're like.

Gwen and Rhys- How's the baby making going? A tip I learnt from a friend over here is to not have sex standing up: apparently it just makes it more challenging for the sperm.

Tosh and Owen- Try not to kill each other whilst I'm gone. And _why_ was it so important for me to take a collection of porn magazines on to my flight?

Hope everyone is okay.

Love you lots,

Jack

Deciding there was nothing more he could say, Jack leant back and watched as the e-mail vanished into cyberspace. He had considered putting a brief note to Ianto, but he really didn't know what to say, so he had just left it blank. If anything was to be said, it would not be in a public e-mail. The American rose to his feet and wandered into the kitchen, eyeing the contents of his fridge and freezer. The apartment he was in had been provided by SSLS. It was basic, but it suited Jack. He needed space and it was enough. There was a gorgeous bay window seat where he could perch with a bottle of beer and gaze out over the glorious Tokyo sunset.

A bottle of ice cold beer in hand and a pizza in the oven, Jack perched himself on said window seat. As he gazed out of the skyline his thoughts once again drifted to the Welshman.


	19. Chapter 19

**Again, I am SO sorry this is late. I have exams next week, so I'm hoping to get 20 up Friday evening after my exam, but before the May ball, so Rietta and I are going to have to talk about timing lol! As Rietta has exam's as well, I understand that beta'ing my be moved to the bottom of the list and we promise that regular posting will resume after the 11****th**** June. Thank you so much for your patience.**

**Rietta, here's to Northampton (TOMORROW!) Comic Con and Wicked! You're fabulous!**

**A Huge thank you to everyone who's reviewed/read/alerted/favourited. Let me know what you think of this chapter.**

**Chapters 20 and 21 are written, 22-28 are plotted :) **

Chapter 19- What I can't say in a letter will just have to wait 'til I get home

Ianto Jones was rather surprised that despite the fact he and Jack had practically been over for nearly seven months, he still dreamed of the American. He dreamed of small events that had happened in the past. He dreamed of how he _wished _things had been, and how he _wanted_ things to be. He often found himself having conversations with Jack's chair; or what had been labelled Jack's chair. He'd speak about the weather, the sport, or some random song he'd heard on the radio. It continued on like this until a week after Jack had left for Japan. He was checking his internet when the mechanical voice informed him-_"You've got mail."_ Deciding that he may as well look, he was rather shocked to find an e-mail from Jack that had also been sent to the rest of their tight-knit group of friends. He read the e-mail over and smiled. It was a typical Jack e-mail, but it gave him some peace of mind; some reassurance that Jack hadn't completely forgotten him.

The Welshman had been heartbroken by Jack's response to his apology. Okay, so it was clichéd, but he knew that somewhere deep in his heart he had expected Jack to throw his bag down, sweep him up in his arms and never let him go. But it hadn't gone like that. Jack had barely acknowledged the apology and that was _not_ how it went in films.

He sank back into his chair and gazed at the computer screen. It was glaringly obvious that Jack had left him out of the little messages; but he wasn't all that bothered. Jack had been living in Japan for a _week_ and he hadn't been deleted from the contacts list. He continued to stare before wondering if he should send an e-mail back. He debated with himself for twenty minutes before groaning and logging off.

The Welshman headed into the kitchen and eyed the surfaces: all sparklingly clean; all dishes put away in their correct places. He glanced down at his socks and blinked. When had he started wearing odd socks? Smiling to himself, he began to hum and rearrange the kitchen. He put mismatched mugs on the mug tree and mixed up the tins in the cupboard, putting tinned meats amongst the vegetables. He then moved the toaster and other appliances about, cluttering the surfaces. With one last glance around the kitchen he nodded to himself and then headed into the bedroom. Taking all his socks out of the draw and sitting on the bed, he proceeded to put the socks into non-matching pairs. He glanced up and caught sight of the vacuum cleaner in the corner.

"I don't know what you're looking so forlorn for- I ain't going to use you."

The hoover stayed stoically silent, but still somehow managed to look wounded.

"I am _not_ using you. Stop looking at me like that... I mean it!"

Once more the vacuum cleaner remained silent and Ianto glared at it.

"Stop pouting: you remind me of Jack; pouting because I won't take you for a spin around the flat."

Ianto removed his eyes from the vacuum and continued with his task of mixing his socks up for a moment or two before he froze in place and dropped his head into his hands.

"Oh my god... I'm talking to a vacuum cleaner... Sweet mother of Merlin- I've cracked."

He felt his cheeks heat up with embarrassment when he heard a shuffling in the doorway and a throat clear itself.

"I thought the vacuum looked quite sociable, actually," Tosh commented as she stepped into the room. "It was practically begging you for a conversation. Hardly its fault that Jack managed to scorch its vocal cords, poor thing; but then we both know that Jack can't use a vacuum cleaner to save his life. Well, actually he _could_, but I don't think the designer intended it as a weapon of mass destruction..."

Ianto grinned. "That is very true. And don't get me _started_ on the havoc he can wreak with a coffee machine..."

Tosh frowned. "When the hell has Jack ever gotten hold of the coffee machine to wreak havoc?"

The Welshman's face darkened. "He managed, once. What happened to him doesn't bear mentioning- it's not a tale for delicate ears."

Tosh raised an eyebrow. "My ears are not so delicate that they cannot cope with the words 'sex ban'," she said.

Ianto raised an eyebrow back. "Oh, it was worse than a sex ban," he responded. "Much worse."

Tosh looked perplexed. "But what the hell does that _leave_?"

"I told you you didn't want to know."

* * *

**To:**Jackflash(at)btinternet(.)co(.)uk

**From:**thedoctor(at)TARDIS(.)co(.)uk

**CC:**

**Subject: **Not enough evidence.

Jackie-boy,

I refuse to take your email as evidence that you are alive. After all, both hackers and ghosts possess the ability to write emails. I demand photographic evidence of your continuing existence at the earliest possible opportunity- preferably a quality photo of you at some famous landmark which will serve to demonstrate that yes, you are in Japan. And no, a robot won't suffice. After all, 'a cage full of misbehaved monkeys who tend to always eat coffee and bananas'? Sounds a lot like Wales to me. Or is it that we British tend to always drink coffee and _are_ bananas? Speaking for Tosh and myself, anyway and you mentioned that the aeroplane food was reminiscent of Gwen's cooking- further evidence that you are in fact probably dead. Which would sadden me greatly, hence my urgent need for photographic evidence that you live- which has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Tosh is hell-bent on updating the photo albums, nothing at all…

As for the porn magazines… I would have thought it was obvious. They are full of naked women, and naked women repulse you. Therefore, your collection of porn magazines is a sophisticated psychological contraceptive, seeing as I forgot to ask if you remembered to pack condoms, and as it happens they don't sell those over the counter in WH Smith. So I figured porn magazines would have to do instead, in the hope that they will put you off sex altogether for a while. Which has nothing to do with the fact that Ianto is down in the dumps about your lack of acceptance of his apology... And it hasn't exactly helped that you very conspicuously excluded him from a personal note in that email. The two of you need to communicate, and fast. Don't mess him about, Jack- if you're not going to forgive him and work on things, make that abundantly clear _now_ so that he stops wasting his time trying. It's not healthy for him to be obsessing like this, and I doubt it's doing you much good either.

Now then, lecture over! Tosh and I are fine and dandy, thanks for asking. Both very much alive; probably because we locked all the sharp and heavy objects in the house away for the duration of your trip. I mean, without you to watch over us, how the fuck else are we supposed to refrain from domestic homicide? No, it's far more fun to sit and watch my wife slowly being buried alive by a mountain of photographs…

Take care of yourself, and do send us that photographic evidence ASAP- as you can see, I need it as a murder weapon.

Love and all that,

Owen (and Tosh by proxy)

**TO: **thedoctor(at)TARDIS(.)co(.)uk

**From:** Jackflash(at)btinternet(.)co(.)uk

**CC:**

**Subject: **A little bit dead.

**Attachments: **Jackbridge;Jacktower; Jack and Martha.

Princess and the frog,

As you can see by the three pictures above, I am very much alive. Martha is one of my colleagues on the project. We both agree it's a pile of shit. Martha has been out here a lot longer than myself and agreed to show me the sights.

Picture 1 is me at Rainbow Bridge yesterday evening.

Picture 2 is me at the Tokyo Tower

Picture 3 is Martha and I eating sushi.

As you can see, this constitutes 'alive' and not 'a little bit dead' or anything of that variety.

With regard to Ianto… At the moment I'm still trying to work out how I feel. I had a lot of time to think on the plane; and more time when I'm tuning out in meetings. But I am not getting any answers from my brain or my heart. I didn't put him a note because anything I do say to him will _not_ be gossip amongst our grapevine * cough * Gwen *cough *. Of course I love him, but there's just no spark there Owen, and I don't know what to do.

Anyway, I have a meeting with finance now. Sorry to only drop a quick line.

Keep well and give my love to everyone!

Jack.

* * *

Jack groaned. He had a memory like a sieve at times: maybe he should get himself an organiser with dates in it? That might help for the future, but not right now. He made a quick decision and opened a new e-mail, feeling guilty but not seeing an alternative.

**To: **coffeebean(at)btinternet(.)co(.)uk

**From:** Jackflash(at)btinternet(.)co(.)uk

**CC:**

**Subject: **My useless organising skills are in need of your superhero qualities.

Ianto,

Okay, this is maybe why I need to take a leaf out of your book. You should have received a letter about my car by now- you know, the tax reminder... Any chance you can put a full years tax on it, and I'll transfer the cash to your account?

Also, it needs its MOT and service. If I promise to bring you a bonsai tree back, will you sort it for me then let me know the total price?

You're a star!

Thank you for the apology at the airport... though it was a bit cliché, don't you think? (We'll talk when I get back, I promise!)

Thank you, Bean!

Jack xxx


	20. Chapter 20

**AN- This chapter has been a pain in the rear not just to me, but to my beta as well lol! I apologise for the late posting but exams are controlling mine and Rietta's life at the moment. Saturday is the last exam so hopefully things should return to some semblance of normal once they're finished.**

**Please, let me know what you think of this chapter, as it's give myself and Rietta plenty of grief. **

**Many thanks to Rietta for the beta, here's to WCC, Cardiff and Wicked!**

Chapter 20 – Love ain't no walk in the park.

Wales, for a change, was sunny. That was what startled Ianto when he awoke in late September, rather than the banging on his door. He'd expected that: Rhiannon had called him the night before to say she was pulling an extra shift at the hospital, so could he be a _doll_ and have the kids till sixish? He groaned and glanced at the clock as he passed. It was 8.30 in the morning. When he opened the door, he was greeted by the sight of Micah and David grinning at him.

"Morning, Uncle Ianto."

He smiled and ushered them in. "Morning, kids. Go and watch telly whilst I talk to your Mam."

Micah and David entered the living area and bickered over the remote control, until Micah tickled David into submission- sometimes there were advantages to being the non-ticklish child. She switched on the telly and put it on cartoon network then settled next to her brother on the couch.

"It's quiet without Uncle Jack, isn't it?" she commented a few moments later.

David nodded sadly. "I wonder how Uncle Ianto is coping with the silence..."

The young girl sighed and glanced out the window. "I don't know, but if we miss him, then I can bet Uncle Ianto misses him more."

The boy nodded and smiled. "We should give Uncle Ianto a big hug when he comes back in, show him we still love him."

Micah nodded excitedly. Just then, Ianto appeared in the living area and both children jumped from the couch and hugged him round the waist. Startled, Ianto blinked at the children for a minute before moving into a kneeling position and gathering the children in his arms.

"Love you," they murmured as they snuggled into his arms.

The Welshman felt his heart swell. "Love you too." In that moment he decided that no matter what, these children were going to be the key to keeping him sane.

* * *

Jack glanced at Doctor Tanazaki as the man simply carried on as if he didn't have a care in the world. The man had an incredible zest for life, the like of which Jack had never seen before. As the meeting progressed, Jack could _feel_ his blood pressure rising and he wondered if he would survive the Japan Project, known as project '_Uranus' _in his head, without suffering an aneurysm or heart attack.

Once the meeting was over, Jack looked at the still calm Japanese manager and headed over to him.

"Alright, how the hell do you stay so _perky_ after a meeting like that? What is your _secret?_"

"Secret? It's no secret, I'll tell you if you want." Tanazaki smiled at Jack.

"I'm all ears."

"Just try to be serious. More or less at least."

Jack put on a straight face. "Yes sir!"

"You'll never change." Tanazaki shook his head. "Anyway- now imagine that you bought the lottery ticket and won."

"Good beginning," Jack sighed. "Now go on... What's the prize?"

"The prize is the most interesting thing. It's a daily bank account, but a very special one. Every morning when you wake up there'll be 86,400 pounds in your bank."

Jack raised an eyebrow, nodded and remained quiet, listening intently.

"There two conditions. The first one is that at the end of the day, every single penny must have been spent."

"That's hardly fair," Jack frowned.

"It's withdrawn and you can't get it back- you can only spend it. What would you spend it on?"

"I can't withdraw it and transfer it to another account?"

"Nope."

"86,400 pounds? I'd buy everyone presents! Transfer to charities, then travel the world, new car ecetera. But what's the second condition?"

"The second condition is that at any time, the bank can stop the transfers."

Jack raised an eyebrow. "But there is no such bank," the American argued, and Tanazaki smiled secretively.

"There is. Every morning we get 86,400 seconds to _live_. When we fall asleep, we can't get back the seconds we didn't use. The bank can close your account at any moment without warning, and you'd never know- so tell me, how are you going to spend the next 86,400 seconds?"

Jack stared at the man before him in shock. His heart had leapt into his throat and he was blinking.

"Oh my god."

Tanazaki grinned. "Oh and whilst you're thinking about that, Martha Jones wants to see you."

* * *

The sun was beaming down on Bute Park at midday. Ianto, Micah and David were all sat around a blanket enjoying a picnic that the Welshman had put together when it had become clear that the day was too nice to waste cooped up in the flat. Decision made, he'd thrown together the picnic, grabbed the skipping ropes, football and other outdoor kids' toys he and Jack had bought for occasions such as this.

"Well, well, Mr Jones."

Ianto blinked and looked up into a pair of familiar sparkling brown eyes. "Mr Smith!"

"The one and only," the Watchmaker grinned, then nodded at the kids. "Yours?"

"As good as- my niece and nephew, David and Micah."

"Hello there. Having fun?"

"Uncle Ianto made us a picnic and he's going to play games with us later."

John Smith smiled and nodded. "That's nice." Turning to look at the Welshman, he could sense an undercurrent of sadness in the other man and had a feeling he knew what was causing it

"Did you fix things with your young man?"

Ianto blinked, and it was the children who filled John in. "Uncle Jack moved out."

The watchmaker was stunned to silence; then, without saying a word, he embraced the Welshman tightly for a moment. He smiled at the kids as they carried on eating despite their declaration.

"How are you holding up?"

The Welshman sighed. "One day at a time. It's hard, but I think I'm coping- just about."

The Watchmaker nodded. "You know, it's not over until you stop fighting. If you love him, you shouldn't let anything get in your way."

Ianto blinked. "But," he sighed sadly, "what if this is what _he_ wants?"

Smith smiled. "You don't believe that. I _certainly_ don't."

"You don't _know_ Jack though."

John Smith sighed. "That may be so. But that doesn't mean I don't recognise true love when I see it."

"You've never seen us together."

"No, but a man came in and bought a stopwatch a few weeks ago, and he told me about leaving his partner. It didn't take me long to work out that it was _your_ Jack. Especially when he signed the receipt... Harkness isn't a common name in Wales."

Ianto smiled. "What did he say?"

"We just talked. I _know_ true love when I see it, like I said, and you guys are the real deal, but it's up to you to fight for it. Remember that." That said, John rose to his feet, waved and winked at the kids, patted Ianto's shoulder and walked off.

* * *

David and Micah had been picked up half an hour ago and Ianto had found himself gathering his wallet, phone and keys before going out. He wasn't sure where he was headed, but he soon found himself in front of an apartment building he had only been to once before.

Ianto pressed the buzzer for Adam's flat, and after being buzzed in, knocked on the door and Adam Smith smiled.

"Ianto Jones."

"Adam, forgive me."

Before Adam could blink, Ianto had drawn back his fist and punched him, sending him reeling back into his flat. Stepping forward, Ianto spoke, his voice soft and regretful.

"Sorry. But that was for kissing Jack."

Adam blinked dubiously. "He explained?"

"No, but you _knew _how I felt. You should have stopped him!"

"I should; and both Jack and I realised that after you'd bolted. Jack regretted it before you'd even left the building."

The Welshman sighed and slumped down onto the couch uninvited.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Adam. I don't think there's any way to fix it; it's just all gone to hell so quickly."

Adam smiled sadly and sat down next to Ianto.

"You never know, it might work out alright. Who knows, this time next year you might be renewing your vows."

The Welshman snorted.

Adam smiled and headed to the kitchen, opening two bottles of beer and offering one to Ianto, who took it with a smile.

* * *

Three and a half hours later they were both 'a little bit tipsy', slurring their words together and singing totally off-key. Ianto stood and was moving to the music centre to change the CDs when he stumbled backwards and landed on Adam's lap.

"Hello," Adam laughed.

"'Lo..."

Adam smiled and leaned down to help Ianto push himself to his feet. They caught each other's eye and realised just how close they actually were. Their breathing became heavier as Adam leaned in and kissed Ianto chastely on the lips.

* * *

Sunlight streamed in through the crack in the curtains as Ianto stirred. The warmth of the other body was in the process of lulling him back to sleep when the events of the night before came rushing back and he flew awake and bolted upright in bed, jostling the sleeping figure.

"Oh fuck..." the Welshman groaned as he stared at Adam. "What did we do?"

Adam blinked sleepily and shrugged. "Had great sex?"

"Fuck..." Ianto groaned.

**AN- I read Tanazaki's philosophy in a book somewhere, and for the life of me I can't remember. :) Thanks for reading!**


	21. Chapter 21

**AN- ****I'm so, so, so, so sorry about the delay. This chapter has been written for awhile and was with Rietta, but sadly, Rietta couldn't find the time to beta the chapter, so as a joint decision, we decided I would find another beta. So...**

**A huge, huge THANK YOU to Quiet Time, who has taken on the challenge, this chapter is for you.**

**Chapter updates: 22-30 are written on paper, so will hopefully get some time to type them up ASAP and hopefully get back on to a schedule with the story now :)**

**Let me know what you think, and thank you for being so patient, it means a lot!**

Chapter 21- I could talk all night, just to hear you breathe.

Japan was warm. Always so warm; that Jack actually found himself missing Wales. Well, not so much Wales but the Welsh. For some reason, since his conversation with Dr Tanazaki he had taken on a totally new perception of life. He didn't want to waste anymore time. Perhaps it was time to stop chewing over old grievances and bite the bullet instead. When he got back he would talk with Ianto. They would have a chance to work things out, at least salvage their friendship. He nodded to himself and smiled a little sadly, he could do friends.

It was on a Monday night on the 11th October, around one thirty in the morning when Jack stumbled into the flat. He'd spend the better part of the day on the phone to Sarah Jane trying to organise everything for the rest of the year, and spent the evening arguing with the finance department over the budget expenditure forms. He knew were he stood with the project and it had been a terribly bad day. He was tired, so tired and drained and fed up that there was only one way he would get any rest tonight. Not really thinking, he changed into his favourite navy blue sweat pants and a bottle green hoody that had belonged to Ianto, before curling up under the covers and grabbing his mobile off the bedside table and hit speed dial two.

The phone rang several times before a confused welsh voice rang out. "_Jack?_"

The aforementioned American stayed silent, both because he was unsure of what to say and also because lately, when he and Ianto had talked, they had argued and he didn't want that, not tonight. Despite Ianto's dramatic apology just before he'd boarded the plane to Japan at the airport, Jack still hadn't fully forgiven him. But he needed Ianto in his life, sometimes more than he cared to admit.

"_Jack! Hello? Can you hear me? Yoohoo Jack! OI, Gorgeous! I'm in your pocket! Hello! Can you..."_ Ianto's voice trailed off_ "...wait a minute...isn't it like 2am there?... Jack, please answer me..._"

Still the American stayed silent but there was a soft smile on his face that faded as Ianto talked.

"_You've bloody sleep dialled me haven't you?... Course you have._" Ianto sighed "_I guess you're having nice dreams, you're not screaming into the night so that's a good thing._ " the Welshman paused then he seemed to gather steam. "_You know, I never knew how much I'd miss you when you were gone, how much I'd miss you're smile, how much your laugher lit up my world. Yet, you've been gone from Wales a month and I miss you like you've been gone forever. I know I don't have any right to miss you though; I've lain awake in bed, so many times and wondered if there was a way I could go back in time and do anything to make sure that I didn't fuck it all up. God...Jack, I treated you like crap, I'm hardly surprised that you left... I knew you could never cheat on me and yet I threw it in your face time and time again... you must hate me I mean I hurt you so much! If you can ever find it in your heart to forgive me, please. I love you-_" Ianto broke off and Jack was aware of the stifled sobs that the Welshman was fighting back "_-I never wanted to hurt you...but I did, god what do I do without you... I'm so scared Jack. Yet I know I don't deserve your forgiveness._"

The Welshman stopped speaking for a moment, so sure he had heard a snuffle on the other end of the phone. "_Jack? Are you awake?_" the Welshman waited a few moments, before deciding that it was his hopeful imagination and continuing on. "_This must be costing you a fortune_." This time, he knew he'd heard the soft cough that was muffled but he'd recognise Jacks soft cries wherever and no matter how many miles were between them. He felt his own hot, tears of regret fill his own eyes and took a shaky breath. "_You are awake then. Or half-awake, I suppose. You probably won't even remember this tomorrow, but what the hell. Maybe it'll help anyway.__"_ He took another long, shaky breath. "_Don't cry, Cariad. Please don't cry; It'll be okay. You need to keep smiling, and being my big, strong, beautiful, gorgeous, handsome man. With your amazing sense of humour, willingness to learn and help people, the way you can just speak to someone who's in a bad mood and cheer them right back up. How many times have you done it for me in the past? Made me smile with just a random little ditty or a wink. You have so much to offer in life Jack. Don't let something like this break your spirit, it's too precious to everyone around you for that. To precious to the world. To me, but please, don't do it for me...do it for yourself._"

Jack tried to choke back the sobs but he knew Ianto had heard him by the way the Welshman, himself was crying. But he wanted-no he _needed_ him to keep talking, he needed to know what else the Welshman, now sobbing openly, would say.

"_Jack, you listen to me, I'm not daft enough to expect you to forgive me right away, I know you need time. Need space. Hell, I need space and time to accept and deal with what I have put you through; you deserve so much better than me and I know you'll find it. I respect that we both need the space, but in the long run, I want...actually no, I need you in my life. I'd rather have you in my life as a friend, than not in my life at all. I need you there, my life wouldn't be right without you in it in some way._"

Jack's pillow was damp with tears and he could feel a headache forming in his temples, but he listened. , Ianto's voice was growing hoarse from the crying and the amount of talking. Jack noted that the time on his phone was ticking away the minutes, so far, they'd been on the phone for over twenty minutes and he still hadn't said anything. But god, he hated working in Japan, it was the worst project SSLS had ever come up with, it made no sense at all, none.

"_Listen, Jack. I have a little confession. Okay, I figure it might make you smile because I can't stand it when you cry. You left for Japan a month ago. For the first week I didn't pick up an iron, I wore creased shirts to work, but then Hartman got on my back about appearance so I had to resort to ironing. However, I continued my rebellion, I haven't worn a pair of matching socks since you left the apartment. And don't get me started on the rugs! The poor hoover doesn't now what's happened to it, it's not been used for a two weeks either. I think it thinks I've died and here's the best bit! There's dishes in the sink that have been there since Saturday! Saturday Jack_!"

Jack bit the inside of his cheek to hide back the snort of amusement. "I never wanted to turn you into a slob, bean. Just not have you jump down my throat about it after fifteen minutes." his own voice was croaky with the suppressed sobs.

There was silence for a moment. "_Jack?"_

The American chuckled "Who else?"

"_Why didn't you speak up earlier, I mean, I've just made a complete fool of myself."_

"Have you? For once, I was able to actually understand and hear what you were thinking rather than have you hide it from me...I dunno, I think if you'd spoken like that when we were together, we wouldn't be in this situation right now."

"_Oh, so it's all my fault is it? That we're practically unfixable..."_

"Well, you could have just _asked_ me...but then, my word was never completely reliable was it now?"

"_You know that's not how it was."_

"Do I? You feel like you've made a fool of yourself because you've actually opened up a bit...I reckon that's exactly how it is."

There was silence on the other end of the phone and Jack pulled his own phone away from his ear, prepared for the crash as Ianto hung up, , when Ianto spoke again, quietly.

"_I know I need to change..._"

"Not _that_ drastically though. You wouldn't be the man I fell for if you did."

Ianto chuckled "_I figure I better go to the extreme. It's one of he things I always lov-liked about you._"

"You know it's okay to say you _love_ me, don't you? It hasn't stopped you before."

He heard the Welshman sigh "_I know, I guess it's just different now that I know you're fully awake and not just having weird dreams or asleep."_

"You know I've been awake the whole time, right? I just- I needed to hear your voice, bean."

The Welshman smiled and felt his heart flutter and the nickname. "_Is that a hint that I should call your voicemail and leave you something to replay whenever you feel down?_"

"Ah, I think that would depend on what kind of message you were planning to leave. But I'm sure we can come up with an ideal agreement"

Ianto blinked, "_I suppose I could leave you a list of all the housework that I haven't been doing."_

"Ooo tempting Jones, Ianto Jones."

"_Or I could leave you a message telling you how amazing you are?_"

"Now that would give me a big ego, let's avoid ego inflating for now."

"_Damn, I'm flush out of idea's._"

"Shocking, I thought you had an answer for everything."

"_Who me?_"

"Yup." Jack smiled softly at the familiar banter. Banter was the thread their relationship hung from. A constant. Always there, providing them both with relief especially during the hard times.

"_I do have one other idea, but it's highly inappropriate."_

"Ianto Jones, are you propositioning me?"

"_Me? Nope."_ Ianto popped the 'P' and chuckled.

"God, I've missed this."

"_What? Talking to me?"_

Jack laughed. "Yes actually, just talking, no arguing, or really thinking, just me and you, in this room, on the phone, for as long as it takes."

"_Oh...well, I have to tell you, Jack, I got shivers down my spine."_

"You don't sound like it."

"_It passed."_

"Cheeky sod."

"_It's why you..."_ unsure of how to finish the sentence, Ianto trailed off. But he needn't have worried.

"why I love you, yes, I know."

They lay in a comfortable silence, just listening to each others breathing for awhile, taking comfort in each others presence, even if it was over thousands of miles.

"_You should try and get some sleep, Cariad."_

"I know." Jack spoke, his voice barely a whisper as Ianto's breathing and voice carried him gently to sleep.

"_I meant everything I said earlier, Jack. You know that...right?_"

"Me too."

"_I love you, Jack Franklin Harkness-Jones_." Ianto's voice came out the phone, "_Don't you forget that._"

"I forgive you." Jack whispered as he heard the dialling tone echo from the phone.


	22. Chapter 22

**AN- Still trying to get writing into a routine, but am finding ****I**** can write better in the dark with John Barrowman on in the background, be it in Miracle Day or in Tonight's the Night, ****I**** think that's telling me something :p.**

**I**** know there's been nothing on Gwen, Rhys, John, Donna, Tosh and Owen for awhile, but ****I**** know at least two of those make an ****appearance**** next chapter and not in letter form:)**

**An Huge, huge thank you to Quiet Time for allowing me to bounce back and forth with idea's as they come to me and for the beta :) This one is for you!**

**Another massive thank you to all my reviewers, you make writing worth it:)**

**Let me know what you think of this one, it's been plaguing me lol! **

Chapter 22- There's a million places I can go, but without you...

When Jack walked into the Japan offices that morning and was told that he was expected in a conference call with Sarah-Jane Smith and Doctor Tanazaki as soon as possible, a conditional promotion was the last thing he expected.

"Pardon?" Jack blinked, astonished, at Doctor Tanazaki, who was sitting before him with an understanding smile; and flicked his eyes to the phone which Sarah-Jane Smith was speaking from.

"_A conditional promotion,_" she continued. Jack could hear the strangled laughter beneath the businesslike tone of her voice. "_All you have to do, is finish the Japan project and you can start at the London offices on 5__th__ November next year._"

"But the Japan project is due to wrap up in March." Jack protested weakly

"We know, and you'll need to be back in Japan then, but, once that's done, we suggest you find a flat in London and wrap up the rest of your work, plus you'll have to start thinking about who to nominate as your replacement." Tanazaki smiled.

Jack blinked "You want _me _to promote someone?"

"_Promote or hire_." Sarah-Jane laughed. "_Don't sound so shocked_."

"But...but...what?" he questioned, the shock of the situation refusing to leave him coherent.

"Just take a breath and think about it...okay?" Tanazaki smiled, "We're not asking for a decision from you right now."

The American nodded once, more a mad bob of the head than anything natural. "So, let me get this straight, you want me to stay in Japan until _March_ now?

"_No!_" Sarah-Jane cried "_You come home as planned and then fly back out in early March to complete the project. That's when everything's due to go through._"

"Right...okay." Jack nodded again and somehow managed to rise from his seat and exit the office. He closed the door behind him and was confronted by Martha, who immediately dragged him to her office where she offered him water.

"I think I might need something stronger." Jack joked, once he'd finished relating what had taken place in the office.

"A promotion is marvellous Jack." Martha said with enthusiasm. "You deserve it."

The American nodded once. "I know, and thanks, but..." he shook his head and sighed "I just..."

Martha leaned forward and rested a gentle hand on Jack's arm. "What's wrong?."

"I spoke to Ianto..."

"When?" the woman exclaimed excitedly.

"A few days ago, but we said we'd talk when I got home." Jack sighed. "I can't help thinking he'd want me to take the promotion, but I don't know if_ I _want to... I think I might want to work things out with Ianto more."

"You could try talking to Ianto again..." Martha suggested.

Jack smiled and then laughed gently. "Maybe when I can see him in person."

"That might be nice."

"Yeah...maybe." the American agreed and rose to his feet "I should be getting back to work. I need to phone Tyler and Hart about the finances..._again._"

* * *

Ianto Jones was many things, clever, intelligent, witty and always prepared to name but a few. But on the day he went into Tyler and Hart and found a new case file on his desk, the last thing he was prepared to see was the note with it, direct from John Hart.

_Sorry to thrust this upon you at the last moment. This is the Smith, Smith and Lethbridge-Stewart Japan contract for Project Uranus (I do agree with a certain American we both know) We're in charge of running the finance for Uranus, named project Pluto. I need to pass it on to you., I have a meeting with Sarah-Jane Smith, so expect a phonecall from Japan at some point today. I trust you to remain professional if need be. Sorry about this._

_John._

Ianto blinked a few times. He knew the Japan project for SSLS was what Jack was working on, but surely Hart wouldn't have put him in charge of the finance side, especially considering the situation he and Jack were in at the moment. He didn't have much time to consider it before a shrill ringing echoed around the room. The desk phone.

"Good morning, Tyler and Hart, Ianto Jones speaking."

"_Ianto?"_

Ianto blinked, "Jack?"

"_Oh perfect,"_ the American accent answered laughingly. "_How're you?_"

"Better, back at work, just...plodding along."

"_Done the dishes yet?"_

Despite it all, Ianto couldn't help but laugh. "Yes, I did them shortly after I got of the phone with you."

"_That's my little coffee bean_." The pet name was out before Jack could stop it and inwardly he groaned. Not out of embarrassment but more out of shock, this was meant to be a professional call and here he was resorting to personal pet names.

Ianto cleared his throat and attempted to drag the conversation in a more professional direction. "What time is it in Japan?" he asked crisply.

"_Five thirty in the evening._"

"Oh, shouldn't you be finishing up then?"

Jack let out a rather bizarre sounding laugh, "_Me? Out of the office before nine at night? You must be joking._"

Ianto sighed "I hope you're looking after yourself.

"_I try. This project is making me ill though._" Jack chuckled.

Ianto smiled "Yeah, I've just got in and found the file on my desk." he sighed and skimmed the file, raising his eyebrows at the figures. "These numbers don't make sense."

Jack laughed "_I know. I've tried myself, but nope, I think there's a currency issue."_

The Welshman groaned, "I'll see what magic I can work and drop you and e-mail. I'm sorry there's nothing more I can do at the moment, but this is the first glance I've had of it."

Jack laughed, _"No worries, drop me an e-mail and I'll give you a call later in the week._"

"Thanks Jack."

"_No problem, thanks for seeing what you can do._"

"My pleasure, speak soon."

"_Bye Ianto."_

"Bye Cariad."

* * *

Jack hung up the phone, Ianto's words echoing through his head..._cariad._ He smiled to himself and buried his head in his hands, laughing and damned near crying at the same time. God he loved that man! As much as he was annoyed that 'Tyler and Hart had suddenly put the case under a knew project manager, Jack couldn't bring himself to take it out on Ianto...not when things were calm and pleasant between them.

* * *

When Ianto arrived home that night and found a letter addressed to 'Mr J Harkness-Jones' he blinked, not expecting to see anything come through the door with Jack's name on it. He sighed and then noticed the logo into the corner of the envelope..._phone bill_ Ianto thought,. Without thinking he ripped open the letter and almost fell over at the amount. His and Jack's call a few days ago was the last item on the bill and according to this, they'd been on the phone for ninety minutes. The price for that phone call alone, was nearly two hundred pounds. Ianto made a snap decision to pay the bill for Jack, both as a gesture of good will and in the interests of getting him back in Jack's good graces. Even though he seemed well on the way to that already.

* * *

When Jack arrived back at his temporary living accommodation in Japan that night he saw his mobile phone on the side and shrugged. He hadn't even noticed it was missing all day, which showed how much attention he paid to it.

Jack picked the phone up and noticed the red blinking light in the corner. He navigated to his home screen and smiled at the 'one new message' announcement. He opened it and frowned in confusion. It was a message from his mobile network informing him he had a 'new voicemail' from Ianto. A few moments later Ianto's delicious welsh vowels echoed through the phone.

"_Hi Jack, erm, it's midday here now, I've had a look through the documents and I think we can work something out for SSLS, but I need to talk to John, will speak to him as soon as possible and let you know what's happening._" There was a rather significant pause and Jack sighed, accepting somewhat sadly that Ianto had left the message at that. He supposed he couldn't blame Ianto for trying to keep work separate from their personal issues, but he couldn't help feeling disappointed, too.

He was about to delete the message when Ianto continued, shyly. "_You said you'd needed to hear my voice the other day, and I promised to leave you a voicemail, so here it is. Jack Harkness, don't you ever forget what an amazing man you are...you're brilliant, totally and utterly, if anyone tries to tell you any different, point them to me and I'll have their guts for garters. Oh! I've made a new friend, she's called Janet and she's the vacuum cleaner...I'm sure you remember her well, she misses you taking her for a spin around the flat whilst singing. I managed to clean most of the flat, though I still refuse to hoover the rugs. After all, if Janet is missing you so much, I don't think she will do a good enough job. Oh! And on the same day I made friendly banter with Janet, I managed to mix all my sock's up...god this is making me sound certifiable... I promise, I've not completely lost the plot since you left._" Another, much longer pause followed and Jack sighed. Then he heard it, a quiet whisper, "_Thank you, for forgiving me, I love you._"

Jack felt tears fill his eyes. He stared blindly at the phone until the automated voice rang out "_To return to the main menu, press one, to save the message, press two; or to delete the message, press three."_

Jack pressed two .


	23. Chapter 23

**AN- A huge, huge 'Thank you' to everyone who's been reading/reviewing/favouring/alerting etc, it means a lot. **

**A massive, massive THANK YOU to Quietime for the beta, suggestions and letting me bounce idea's off you! It helps millions:)**

**Chapter 24 is in progess and 25-32 is plotted. I'm not sure how long this story is going to be overall I'm just going with the flow for now:)**

**Let me know what you think. Enjoy!**

Chapter 23- Remind us of what we used to be.

Tosh was walking down the road, wind blowing harshly in her face when she saw Gwen Cooper-Williams running across the road, leather jacket zipped up to her chin.

"Gwen!" she cried out.

The brown haired Welsh woman turned and beamed when she saw her friend. "Tosh, oh thank god, you don't fancy giving me a hand do you?"

"Doing what?"

"I need to sort out Jack's apartment," Gwen explained. "He's due home in two days. I want to make it a bit more welcoming for him," Her voice dropped. "You know, since it's the first time he's had to come home to an empty house."

Tosh nodded. "Good idea., I don't know how much he got round to unpacking before he had to pack again, for all's we know it could be all still boxed up."

Gwen shook her head vigorously. "Nah, I've been moving mail once a week, but I figured I'd got to the Tesco express and make sure there's some edible food in and drink along with making sure the place is clean."

Tosh laughed and sighed "Come on then Cooper."

The two girls headed into Tesco and grabbed a basket before heading down the food aisles, trying not to get lost amongst the people cramming in to get their last minute Christmas bits. With only ten days left until the festive celebrations, people were determined to have their own perfect holiday. They managed to get enough food for a few days, which gave Jack time enough to go and do a big shop before Christmas.

"Is Jack coming to Rhys and yours anniversary party?" Tosh asked curiously.

"Yeah, he promised."

"He's gonna be shattered," Tosh pointed out. "He's back on the seventeenth and your party is on the eighteenth."

"We'll just make Ianto look after him." Gwen suggested, eyes gleaming with mischief.

"Which reminds me," Tosh grinned "I saw Carys the other day, remember her? She's a solicitor in family law, specialises in divorce and dissolutions...I lived with her first year of university?"

Gwen nodded, "Yeah, I remember her, wanted to get revenge on the ex boyfriend.

"That's her." Tosh chuckled. "Jack asked me for her number a while ago, and…"

" Hold on," Gwen interrupted. "_Y__ou_ gave Jack her number!" Gwen planted her hands on her hips and glared at her friend. "_You _helped move the dissolution on? Tosh, how could you?"

"I thought Jack was just going to get some advice," Tosh said defensively. "I didn't think he'd go through with it,"

Gwen continued to eye her suspiciously.

"Anyway," Tosh continued, "Carys says you get a feel for which ones have a chance at getting back together, and both she and Suzie – that's Ianto's lawyer – think that Jack and Ianto could work things out.

"That's more like it," Gwen approved. "So, do they have a plan?"

"Oh they do, but they need our help, I was on my way to do what was needed, but I think you might be able to help as well."

* * *

Jack gazed around the apartment that had been his home for the last four months. Everything had been packed bar his ipod, which was stood in its mini speaker stand blaring out the music from 'Anything goes'. He had been happily singing along when it hit him that in two days, he would see Ianto - in the flesh - and he was terrified. Jack slumped onto the sofa, the music swelling to it's dramatic climax as he fought to stay in control. He shouldn't be scared, it was only Ianto...

"Get a grip, Harkness!" Jack snapped at himself. Then he grabbed his phone and replayed the voicemail message once again, as he had so many times since Ianto had initially left it. Feeling slightly calmer than he had six hours ago, he headed to the bathroom for a shower before he had to start his rather long journey back to Wales.

* * *

Gwen and Tosh stepped back from the clear space above the fireplace in Jack's apartment, grinning madly at each other.

"It looks perfect!" Tosh laughed " I don't think he's gonna know what hit him!"

Gwen giggled "Certainly not!"

The Japanese woman smiled and leaned forwards "You know, I talked to Ianto a few weeks ago and he said that Yvonne at his work thought the universe would implode if Jack and he split up...I think she's right...it's almost like...it's _meant_ to be, I mean they compliment each other so well."

"I know!" Gwen sighed "Their story is almost fairytale like – well, until now.."

"I guess, from uni to adult life without a blip...it's been perfect for them."

The Welshwoman nodded. "When Jack told me, it was like being told my parents were divorcing. They're such a huge part of our life..."

"It hurts" Tosh sighed "When Jack walked out on Ianto he came to us. He opened up to Owen a bit, told him they'd been having problems for nigh on six months before then. Jack didn't know what to do."

Gwen sighed. "I didn't realise it was that bad. If they get back together, they'll need some help to get through it, you know, like marriage counselling."

"True," Tosh agreed. " Owen said he has a colleague in that kind of work."

"Maybe Carys and Suzie could pass on the card when they decide to work it out." Gwen suggested.

Tosh sighed "We're so confident that they will...but what if they don't?"

"I don't know." Gwen sighed. She didn't even like to think about that possibility. Her gaze drifted around the flat, eyeing photographs and trinkets collected throughout Jack's life. "I guess we'll just have to support them and hope they can be friends after."

"That's what Ianto said," Tosh agreed. "He said he could cope, so long as he had Jack in his life in some way, shape or form. It'll be so hard if they can't work it out, not just on them either."

"Did you hear Ianto's mother went round and gave him a talking to?" Gwen asked.

Tosh blinked "Jack mentioned that she turned up here and had a chat with him."

"Hmm, reckon she knows something?"

"Maybe, but she is Ianto's mother, he's probably told her things we won't ever hear."

Gwen glanced at the clock and groaned "Urgh, I need to go and help Rhys sort out food for the party! We're shopping tonight to get everything ready."

"Good luck!" Tosh laughed as she linked her arm through Gwen's and they collected their bags and walked out of the apartment, locking the door as they left. The flat fell into darkness, ready to greet Jack the next morning. The photograph montage above the fire place was the only thing different to when he left. Tosh hoped it would make the type of difference they were all longing for.

* * *

John Hart waltzed into the pub on the corner of Mermaid Quay at seven o'clock that night and grinned as he saw the expected men awaiting his presence.

"Evening boys!" he grinned as he reached the table.

Owen and Ianto glanced up and smiled in greeting. "Rhys is joining us later...shopping for party food at the moment."

"Ahh yes. Do we know if Harkness is going?" John asked.

"Apparently so, according to Tosh- she spoke to Gwen earlier And Jack said he was going come 'hell or high water' to Gwen in an e-mail." Owen supplied.

"Great," Ianto said, with an unconvincing laugh. "Hopefully it won't be too uncomfortable."

John shrugged. "I doubt it."

"Oh that helps," Owen said, sarcasm dripping from his voice.

"Well, there's no point pretending different, is there?" John retorted. He looked at Ianto. "Just don't go near him." he suggested.

"I have to tell him about Adam..." Ianto insisted.

"Do you?" Either they'd both said it at once, or the pub had an echo.

"It's the right thing to do," Ianto said, face set into stubborn lines. "Especially if we're gonna try and work this out."

"Maybe," John said. "But it's technically none of his business. _He_ left _you_. He's got not right to expect you to be celibate."

"Yeah, technically," Ianto agreed, eyes fixed at a stain on the tabletop. " I'd just rather he heard it from me than anyone else."

Silence fell around the table as they took stock of the situation. Finally, Hart rose to his feet "Pints?"

Owen and Ianto sagged "Yes!" they almost cried. Silence fell for a few minutes before the tension broke and they chuckled together.


	24. Chapter 24

**I**** can't believe this chapter is finally here * bitesnails * ****I**** hope it more or less lives up to all of your expectations, it's given me hell for the last few days. First it was to romantic, then it was to cold, until ****I eventually wrote this version and Quiet Time said it was good. * sighs with relief ***

**A huge, huge thank you to everyone who's stuck with this story and reviewed, alerted, favourited and such, it means a lot. Having so much John Barrowman on the tele these days is helping me to write faster hehe! I'm not sure if that's a good thing.**

**An especially huge THANK YOU to Quiet Time for all her encouragement and the beta, not quite sure how this would have gone if you hadn't been here, so this one is for you!**

**Chapter updates: 25 and 26 are plotted and planned 27-35 are plotting themselves lol! It depends how 25 and 26 turn out when I write them.**

**Let me know what you think and enjoy!**

Chapter 24- Today this _could_ be the greatest day of our lives.

Doctor Tanazaki smiled as the meeting was drawn to a close. The final meeting for Project Uranus. He laughed quietly as he glanced at Jack Harkness who looked ready to bolt out of the office. The American had tried to hide it, but his dislike and confusion at the project was well known. Tanazkai knew that Jack had encouraged and supported his team as they worked to solve the problem, but he also knew that the trip out here came at a rather emotional time for Jack. He had every respect for the outgoing American for what he had worked through, and _who_ he had worked with at Tyler and Hart to get the finances sorted.

"Jack!"

The American glanced up at Tanazaki and smiled. "Everything okay?"

"Yes, I just wanted to apologise, I hope you're not going to miss your flight, I know this meeting was an inconvenience to you."

Jack waved a hand in a dismissive gesture. "Not to worry, I have six hours before the flight heads out and a car waiting for me out front. I'm heading to Tyler and Hart almost as soon as I land to sign that final document, so it's done."

"As long as you're sure?"

"Trust me, the sooner I sign the document, the sooner I can get the project out of my head until March."

"Ahh yes, I haven't had a chance to congratulate you on accepting the promotion. I assume Ianto is okay with the move?"

Jack blinked, "Why would it matter to Ianto? I mean, we split up before I came here."

Tanazaki frowned. "But John Hart said there had been improvements in your relationship as of late."

The American sighed sadly. He was a bit embarrassed at how his personal life had come under public scrutiny, but he was also touched by his bosses concern. "Just a bit...but...I don't know, I just...I don't want to hurt him anymore." his voice dropped to a barely heard whisper, but Tanazaki just about heard it.

"Do you love him?"

"Yes." Jack didn't hesitate to answer.

"Then shouldn't he be worth fighting for?"

"That isn't the issue."

"Then what is?"

"How am I meant to get over what he put me through?" Jack burst out. "He accused me of cheating on him! He stopped talking to me. He forgot my birthday!" Somehow, and as childish as it might seem, that omission still hurt the worst. "He hurt me so much..." Jack choked "Am I just meant to forgive that, like it meant...nothing?"

Tanizaki shook his head. "Of course not. But you _must_ talk to him about it."

"I know, " Jack paused, reflecting over what he'd just blurted out. "I'm just... scared."

"Why?"

"We had this phone conversation back in October," Jack explained. "And I told him I forgave him...but look at what I just said to you, it's obvious that I haven't, not really. I mean...why did I do it? Why lie to him?" The pause was deafening, the only sound was Jack's hitched breathing as he battled for control of his own emotions. A few moments later he choked out. "I never deserved him...he deserves better."

Tanizaki listened to the outpouring with sympathy tempered by amusement. His young friend had rarely sounded younger, not unlike Tanizaki's teenage daughter, now that he thought about it.

"Don't talk rubbish." Tanizaki said briskly. "There_ is_ a difference. You _have _forgiven him, but it might take you a while to forget. Which is not surprising - it's a lot to forget, and perhaps you never will, not completely. But go home...back to Wales, eat lasagna, drink wine and just calm down, enjoy the party and make sure you _talk_ to Ianto."

The American nodded, the panic receding slightly. "How did you know all about it anyway?"

"The walls have ears, Jack."

Jack laughed, uncomfortably. "Thank you...for everything."

"My pleasure my boy...now go, before you really do miss your flight."

* * *

John Hart was not amused. He sat in the back of the limo as it battled with Cardiff rush hour to get near the bay to collect Jack Harkness from his flat. The American had rang him ten minutes ago to let him know that he had landed safely and would be ready to be collected from his flat within the next forty minutes. Hart had left Ianto sorting out the final documents. Initially, the Welshman was meant to go and meet Jack from his flat in the car, but John decided it would be better if he did the pick up himself. That way he could inform Jack that Ianto would be there and give the American a moment to gather his wits. It was only fair. Ianto had spent most of the day, 'gathering his wits'.

* * *

When Jack entered the _arrivals_ lounge at Cardiff airport, he was greeted by Owen and Tosh, both sporting massive welcoming grins. Tosh made a beeline for him, as soon as she spotted him. Jack dropped his bags to catch his excitable Japanese friend in his arms, and once she was secure in his embrace, he twirled her around, making her laugh.

"Jack! Oh it's so _good_ to see you!" she cried into his neck as he rested her back on her feet.

"And you, how're you?"

"Wonderful!" she beamed at him.

Owen slipped his arm around Tosh and grinned at Jack. "Hey, stranger."

"Alright, Harper?"

"Better now that I have someone to beat at poker."

"You didn't miss me?" Jack pretended to pout.

"Maybe a little." Owen laughed as he hugged Jack tightly in greeting- a rare display of affection to anyone that wasn't a female friend or relative.

"More than a little!" Jack winked.

"Oh! You've been back on British soil less than an hour and you're already flirting!"

"Well, it's not like I could flirt with the public, my Japanese is very limited."

"Are you telling me you haven't flirted in four months..."

Jack laughed. "Does it matter?"

"Nope," Tosh jumped in "but it does matter that you get to your meeting."

"I called John whilst I was in baggage reclaim, we should make tracks."

Owen nodded then grabbed Jack's suitcase. "Jonesy will have your hide for putting suits, in a _case._"

"I know." Jack laughed as they exited the building. "It's partially why I did it and..." Jack trailed off as he grew slightly pale. "Oh fuck."

"What?" Owen and Tosh stopped to stare at him.

"Ianto...he's gonna be at the meeting... I totally forgot, he became the project manager...but with the panic meeting this morning in Japan, it totally slipped my mind that I'd be seeing him tonight...Oh my god! This is _not _good, this bad... this is very, very, very. _very_ bad...this is _worse_ than bad, this is...the fucking shits...I can't see him like this..."

"Hold on, are you having a melt down at actually _seeing_ him, or at the fact that you look like hell?" Owen cut Jack off.

"Erm...both?"

"Good thing Hart's picking you up from yours, least you can freshen up then." he grinned.

"I'm not a girl!" Jack protested

"Then stop acting like one."

* * *

Whatever Jack had been expecting when the Tyler and Hart Range Rover Vogue appeared outside his flat, it was certainly not John Hart bounding out of the car and grabbing him in the biggest hug he had ever received and knocking the breathe right out of him. Jack grunted and surrendered to the hug, figuring John must have missed him to be this affectionate in public;, he hadn't had a hug this big off anyone since his parents had died when he was in university.

"You alright?"

"Mmm, want to get this bloody contract signed, sealed and delivered."

"I can't sign it if you hug me to death..."

"If I'm going to kill you, Harkness, it's going to be by shagging you to death."

"I've been back less than three hours, and you're already trying to knock me into your bed post."

"Ha! Donna would have my balls for breakfast if I damaged the headboard..."

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Does that mean you've had to fill in the notches?"

"Stuff you."

"With what?" Jack grinned.

"Oh bugger you!"

"Not my type."

"I know, c'mon, contracts to sign and all." John sighed as he herded Jack into the car and climbed in beside him. "How was the flight?"

"I don't really know, I slept for most of it..."

"Best way..." the air between them suddenly became awkward as they got closer and closer to Tyler and Hart. Jack found it to be suffocating and he knew it was because John was unsure how he and Ianto would respond to seeing each other again. Jack had already made a point of going for the 'professional' approach, at least that's what his head had said. His heart was tempting him to grab Ianto and kiss him senseless. The American had been so lost in his thoughts that he had failed to notice the turn into the car park, until the door clicked open and John was smiling at him.

"C'mon then."

Jack took a deep breath and stepped out of the car, smiling at the fresh _welsh_ air as it blew around him. It was _good_ to be back in Wales. He followed John like a lost puppy, up numerous flights of stairs and through too many doors to count until he was standing before a large glass panelled wall, behind which sat one very important person.

"Ready?" John asked him.

Jack inhaled deeply and let the air out in a 'whoosh' "As I'll ever be."

"Let's go then."

John Hart pushed open the door and led Jack into the room. The person in the room turned and as his eyes locked with Jack's, the world stopped spinning.

"Jack." he greeted, walking forward and offering his hand in a professional manner.

The name was lodged in Jack's throat, somewhere between 'hello' and 'I love you' but somehow, he managed to reach out and take the man's hand in his. He fought the urge to drag the man into his arms and instead shook it two or three times with what he hoped was a cheerful,

"Ianto."

It was as if the word snapped the tension between them. Ianto smiled brightly, before stepping forward and throwing his arms around Jack, forgetting all about their audience. Unbeknownst to them, John Hart was grinning like a lunatic as he watched them embrace, even as his thumbs flickered over the keypad of his phone, sending a quick text to Owen and Rhys.

_Stage one- success._


	25. Chapter 25

**AN- Okay, here we go. Chapter 25. ****I**** know Quiet Time and ****I**** both wanted to murder this chapter at one point, it was so stubborn. ****Thankfully, we believe we beat it. **

**I'm putting a tissue warning here, to cover my back for the final scene.**

**A huge thank you to all the readers XD Your comments make writing worth it.**

**A Galaxy sized THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to Quiet Time for all her support whilst writing this chapter, letting me vent about this chapter.**

**Also, a big hug and thank you to Rietta, who let me rant at her down the phone.**

**Let me know what you think please! Hope you enjoy.**

Chapter 25- I need inspiration, not just another negotiation.

Have you ever had that feeling were you want to do something _amazing_ to impress someone? Someone you adore, of course, to prove how you feel about them. It has to be perfect, but you're not sure what they would appreciate. Sure, you've got lots of ideas, but nothing feels right. So you turn to your friends and they think it's the most amazing idea, but they have no clue what you should do? That's how Ianto Jones was feeling.

"C'mon Gwen, you must have _some_ idea?" Ianto asked, close to desperate by now. They were sat in the coffee shop, opposite Tyler and Hart, waiting for the others. It had been forty minutes (Well, forty-one minutes and thirty nine seconds, but who was counting?) since Ianto had hugged Jack in the meeting for the signing of the final documents on Project Pluto (The finance for Uranus). Once they were signed, Hart ushered Jack out of the room and led him down the hall, offering what Ianto assumed was whiskey of some kind. Ianto wouldn't have minded a swig himself, but he was settling for an inferior coffee in the hopes that the caffeine would stimulate his thought processes. Or Gwen's.

The Welshwoman smiled sympathetically. "Not a clue, love."

Ianto sank back against the squishy arm chair the coffee shop provided, and groaned. Gwen sat up straighter and waved energetically as she spotted Tosh, Owen and Rhys enter the shop. The three placed their own orders and joined them on the chairs. "What's the emergency?" Rhys asked.

"Ianto wants to do something for Jack...to prove how he feels. But he doesn't know what." Gwen explained.

Owen shrugged. "Propose to him?"

"We're still technically married, Owen." Ianto laughed.

"Hmm, ooo! Sing him a song!"

"And we're back to the string quartet theme...I thought I already rejected this on our anniversary?"

Rhys beamed "You did, but Owen's got a point."

"He does?" everyone turned to look at Rhys, as Owen shot them all a wounded look and pouted.

"Yup" Rhys laughed. "We're having kareoke at our anniversary party tomorrow night. Sing him a song on that."

Ianto brightened. "That _is_ a good idea!" His face fell again. "But what?"

Silence fell among the friends as they sunk into about what Ianto could sing.

"You're the one that I want!" Tosh offered brightly.

"Too desperate," Owen disagreed. "What about 'Leaving on a Jet Plane?"

Ianto groaned. "Owen, he's just got back. That'll sound like I can't wait for him to go again!"

Ianto continued to shoot down his friend's suggestions, until they subsided into silence, each determined to come up with the perfect choice. So lost in their musings, they were, that they didn't notice two brown haired men, looking wet from the rain that had begun to fall from the heaven not twenty minutes earlier enter the café. One of them laughed and headed over to the group.

"Well, this is a surprise."

The group jumped simultaneously and gaped at Jack Harkness. He looked exhausted and like he'd been crying, his eyes red rimmed and cheeks flushed. It took a moment for anyone to react, and then Gwen beamed and jumped to her feet, hugging Jack tightly.

"Oh, you better not leave us like that again, Harkness!"

The American laughed gently, and hugged her back. "I'll try not too. What are you all doing here anyway?"

Ianto blinked. "Oh,um…." He stammered. "Ah, I came over here for coffee after the meeting, met Gwen, who texted the others and we thought we'd surprise you as you left...but we must have got distracted."

Jack smiled. "Well, count me surprised then."

Tosh winked at Ianto, all relieved that the lie had worked. It wouldn't have boded well for Jack to have found out they were all conspiring to get him and Ianto back together...he needed to realise it himself. After handshakes and greetings throughout the group, Jack came face to face with Ianto again, and though they had been reunited as work colleagues, there seemed to be a need for another reunion, so Jack could point out that no matter what, he still wanted Ianto in his life in some way.

'Bean' hung on the tip of Jack's tongue, but he had to keep it there. 'Bean' was his lover's name, his husband's name. They needed a new footing. Jack's face cleared as he remembered the somewhat predictable nickname which had followed Ianto through university. A nickname Jack had teased Ianto with for years. It would put Ianto at ease, bring back memories of an easier time.

Jack struck a pose, hands on hips. "Alright, Jonesy." he drawled.

"Alright." Ianto chuckled. He stood up and hugged Jack tightly. It was like the moment in the meeting, joy and pain, comfort and chaos all clashing together between them. Ianto's face tipped up to Jack's, eyes searching them, seeking permission, or perhaps that was just what Jack wanted to see. Jack's head dipped in response, but Ianto's lips brushed his cheek instead of meeting his part-opened lips, before dropping his head to rest briefly on Jack's shoulder. After a moment, he stiffened in Jack's arms and pulled back.

"I should go." Jack's voice was barely above a whisper, almost as if he was talking to himself.

Ianto wasn't sure who moved first, him or Jack, but the next thing he was aware of, was stepping into the cold pouring rain. Alone. His coat in one hand and briefcase in another. Having gotten himself that far, Ianto was about to head off back to his car when he noticed Jack hurrying out of the café, head down against the driving rain. Without thinking Ianto grabbed Jack's arm and pulled him into the alley where the bins and skips were kept for the rubbish from the coffee shop.

"Shit." Jack gasped.

"S'only me." The Welshman murmured

"Scared me." the American panted

"Sorry, didn't mean to."

"S'ok..." Jack raised a questioning eyebrow. "What do you want?"

Ianto closed his eyes. He was pressed so close to Jack he could feel the American's heart pounding in his chest and their lips hovered so close. Waiting.

"I know in my head...this is such a _bad_ idea." Ianto whispered, his voice breathy. "But I can't stop myself."

That said, he closed the remaining distance between them and kissed Jack hotly. Teeth clashed painfully, but neither man seemed to notice as they wrapped their arms around each other. The Welshman ran his tongue over Jack's lips, demanding entrance that Jack was all too willing to grant. The American grasped at the back of Ianto's head, his hands sliding down to grip the lapels of his coat. They pulled back, panting, flushed and confused. Why did the worst ideas always _feel_ so good?

"Fuck me..." Jack murmured.

"Not in public." the traditional response forced a laugh from Jack as he pulled back completely, stepping away from Ianto, even that short distance between them clearing his head in a way that just didn't happen when they were touching. Jack smiled slightly. Awkwardly. The silence stretched between them.

Jack sighed. "Take care." He stepped close once more and placed a gentle kiss on Ianto's forehead. Then he turned and fled down the street with as much speed as dignity allowed, leaving Ianto panting against the wall.

* * *

Jack fled the alley way and darted around the corner. He saw a taxi pulling onto the street and noticed it was one from the rank near his flat. He raised his hand in the air and got a strange look from the driver, who stopped and wound down the window.

"This ain't America laddy!"

"I know, but I'm desperate..."

The cabby eyed his bedraggled appearance and smiled sympathetically. "Bad day?"

"Long." Jack sighed "Any chance I can jump in here...I'll pay you double?"

"Sure." the cabby, Max, Jack noted on the man's identification, smiled. "Jump in."

"Thank you. Just to your rank, I have a flat right near there."

"Brilliant. Anything I can do to help?"

Jack sighed "Unless you have a time machine to take me back to eighteen months ago."

"Sorry..." Max smiled gently at the young man "I don't own a time machine."

"Thanks for the offer." Jack smiled. They pulled up at the rank, some ten minutes later, and Jack hopped out of the taxi, trusting fifteen into the man's hand. "Double, as promised."

Max took the money and patted Jack on the shoulder "I hope your day gets better."

"Thank you." the American smiled and then turned, heading back to his cold flat, filled with suitcases and bags to unpack. On his way to the flat, he saw a small child. Bright red hair, with a blue rain coat and bright red wellingtons splashing in puddles. She jumped in one right next to him and splashed his leg. He glanced down at her, and felt his heart bounce at the innocence in her eyes.

"Carys! Carys! Say sorry to the gentleman for splashing his suit." an elderly woman admonished, obviously the grandmother.

Carys grinned up at Jack "Sorry mister!"

"That's okay, you have fun." He couldn't help but smile back at her.

The little girl grinned and hugged his leg. "You looked like you needed a hug mister."

Jack bit back the tears and smiled. "Thank you, Carys. Just promise me something?"

"What's that?"

"Don't let yourself get heartbroken yeah?"

"Okay mister." Carys turned and splashed in the next puddle and Jack smiled, gave the grandmother a casual salute and headed off. His heart that little bit lighter because a little girl gave him a smile.

* * *

Jack entered his apartment building and sighed in relief. He was out of the rain and being out of the rain meant he could stop thinking. Ever since he'd seen Ianto, all kinds of thoughts had been rushing through his mind. But the most important thought, the thought that really stuck with him, was thinking maybe he and Ianto could work it out. If they took it slow. If they could get past what had happened. Jack shook his head to clear it, rushed up to his flat and opened the door using the key. He gazed around the barely lived in surroundings and wondered bitterly how this was meant to be _home_ without Ianto. He moved to the kitchen and flicked on the kettle. He found some instant in the cupboards and spooned some into a mug while trying not to think of what Ianto would say about Jack drinking instant in his own home, and then turned to face the living area and froze. The blank space above his artificial fire appeared to have gained some photos in his absence. A montage of all the copies of the photos from the tin he and Ianto had.

Jack blinked back tears as he eyed the photo holding pride of place dead center of the montage. It was from his and Ianto's Civil Partnership. They were wrapped in each others arms on the dance floor, talking quietly, his arms tucked under Ianto's suit jacket so he could feel the heat from Ianto's body as they swayed to the music. Jack's nose in the picture was tucked gently alongside Ianto's and the Welshman's arms were resting on Jack's shoulders. There was no need for smiling. Happiness radiated from the photo. Was it really only five and a half years ago? Jack gazed at the photo and felt a smile tugging at his lips, accepting how badly he wanted that happiness back.

He moved to the kitchen, but stopped half-way and spun back to the montage. His eyes closed as he heard Ianto's voice in his mind, as clearly as if Ianto was right next to him "_Can you remember the last time we did something with each other- not a family party or a night out with friends, but just something for us?"_

Jack eyes opened again, straying to the other photos surrounding the image varied from shots of their friends on their own, to their friends on their own wedding days. An image of Jack and Ianto with Mica and David. A young, innocent voice played in his mind, _"Are you leaving us Uncle Jack?"_

The 'failed human pyramid' photo. An image of Jack and his parents. They'd loved Ianto, too.

An image of them with Ianto's parents on the day of their Civil Partnership. Their voices rang clear in his mind. "_You've failed us Jack, you broke his heart."_

Graduation photos. _"Watch out world, here we come."_ Always 'we'. They'd never considered making the journey through life alone, not back then.

A photo of Jack and Ianto in their first flat, Ianto lying with his head on Jacks lap, paper work open on their chests, but smiling at each other, another echo, this time, Ianto's voice _"When was the last time we made love Jack?" _

A shot from when they first moved into _the __flat. _The one that Ianto lived in alone now, both wielding paint brushes on the _only_ day Jack had helped decorate before SSLS took control of his life.

A snow fight picture, from the Christmas two years ago, both wrapped up against the cold, red noses and cheeks, laughing.

A shot of Ianto lying upside down on the bed, fast asleep and Jack straddling his waist armed with a marker pen.

A picture of them with Sasha, his parents' dog.

Their life, spread across his wall, and Jack had no idea how it had gotten there. Accusations glared out at him from every photo. He was a _cheat._ He had _neglected_ Ianto.

But that wasn't fair. It wasn't right. Jack wasn't a cheat. He wasn't a bad partner. He was a good man. Ianto had hurt him so much more than he could have hurt Ianto...because he hadn't done _anything_ that he had been accused of. Ianto had. _Ianto _had forgotten his birthday, _Ianto_ had wrongly accused him of cheating. _Ianto didn't trust him_.

The revelation was enough to make Jack forget everything he'd been thinking earlier about making it work with Ianto. Ianto didn't trust him. And another revelation. A worse one. He didn't trust Ianto. Jack knew he'd been been wrong in what he'd said to Tanizaki. He _had _forgiven Ianto. He loved Ianto. He probably always would, but he didn't trust Ianto not to hurt him again.

Suddenly feeling rather exposed, Jack ripped the photo's down tears pouring down his cheeks. He couldn't spend his time wallowing in a past that was just images and memories. He needed to move on.

He knew he had to break the news of his promotion to his friends soon, but for now. He cried, right there, in front of the TV, the coffee table and the fireplace. Shreds of photo rained down on him as he collapsed to his knees. The torn civil partnership photo landed gently just in front of him, their once undisturbed, happy faces, now crumpled and bent. He cried harder as his world, literally rained down around him.


	26. Chapter 26

**AN- ****I**** got this one ready for you as soon as ****I**** could. I'm moving down to South Wales, on Monday, and will be without internet until Sunday 18****th****, so am going to do as much writing as ****I**** can in that week, and hopefully, have something to post on Wednesday. :)**

**I**** don't think ****I**** need to put a tissue warning up. But just incase.**

**I don't own Torchwood. I'm just borrowing the characters. :)**

**A huge THANK YOU to QuietTime for the beta and all the random conversations we have via e-mail. :)**

**Let me know what you think.**

Chapter 26- Don't write me off...just yet.

The heated glares of the elder adults flew in Jack's direction from the moment he entered the Social Club where Gwen and Rhys were hosting their anniversary party. It was enough to make him want to run for the hills. The only people not glaring at him, were his friends, Ianto, and Ianto's parents. It seemed the majority believed his and Ianto's separation was Jack's fault. Granted, he'd been the one to suggest it, but somehow, he'd been targeted as the cause as well. Not really surprising, given that most of the elderly adults had seen Ianto grow up and nothing could bring the 'lovely, young welsh boy' down of the pedestal they had placed him on. If only they knew.

It wasn't long before he was noticed by Mica and David, who had been happily playing on the dance floor with other children. His heart warmed as they shot towards him like bullets crying "Uncle Jack! Uncle Jack!". Their arms attached themselves to his legs and he found himself smiling for the first time all evening.

"Hello champs, how're you doing?"

"We're okay. I got an A in my history project!" David informed him proudly.

"That's wonderful!"

David beamed at his 'Uncle Jacks' praise and Mica, not wanting to be left out, cried "I got nine out of ten in my spelling test!"

"Wow, got two bright little kids haven't we? You'll be taking over the world soon." Jack smiled. Rhiannon was two years older than Ianto, and had known Gwen since she was in nappies, it was no surprise to see his extended family here at all. Well, he supposed he couldn't call them 'family' much longer, but he'd always be there for the kids. He smiled at them as they continued to talk over each other about their grades and listened attentively. It was only when he was hugged fiercely from behind he realised that Rhiannon and Johnny had come looking for their kids.

"Ooo Jack, it's good to see you." Rhiannon hugged him tightly, whilst he was still seated. Once she stopped trying to strangle him, Jack rose to his feet, moving the kids slightly so he could hug her in return.

"Hi Rhi" he pulled back and offered his hand to Johnny, who shook it in a friendly manner and smiled at his brother in law. And with the same sinking feeling that had accompanied his earlier realisation, Jack accepted he couldn't call Johnny that for much longer either.

"Alright Johnny."

"Aye, you?"

"As I can be. Still completely jet lagged from yesterday."

"Oh, that's the worst." Johnny laughed. "Long plane journeys and then parties."

"Oh, the party isn't that bad...but if looks could kill..." Jack flinched and avoided the gaze of the older people, still sending daggers flying his way.

"Ignore them. They don't know the full story. Probably reckon that you've hurt Ianto, I mean, heaven forbid Ianto actually be human and make a stupid mistake." Rhiannon sighed

Jack chuckled "He's your brother."

"Yes, and I love him dearly but I reserve the right to remind him what he's done..."

"You shouldn't side with me," Jack pointed out. "It was both of our mistakes."

"Yes, but he should have talked to you, not thrown everything in your face and accused you before he had his facts right."

The American sighed "Okay, I give in." he smiled down at Mica who was tugging on his suit pants and after getting the message, he lifted her into his arms and hugged her tightly.

"Love you, Uncle Jack." she whispered, as if it was a world trade secret.

His heart lifted slightly. "I love you too, sweat-pea, and if you need me, I'll be there." Mica nodded against his shoulder and hugged him tightly. He gently set her on the floor and turned to David. "Same goes for you, okay sport?"

The little boy nodded and hugged Jack tightly. "I don't have to _like _it though. You and uncle Ianto splitting up."

"I don't like it either." Jack murmured.

"So why do it?" David demanded in that childlike way, that expressed confusion and the truth.

"Because...because sometimes adults break things. And sometimes, we can't fix them."

"What did you and uncle Ianto break?"

"Trust, faith, loyalty... amongst other things."

David just nodded and looked at Jack "They're hard things to break if you can't always put them back together again. But Daddy always says that something can always be fixed, if you want it to hard enough."

It took a long time, for Jack to understand what David meant.

* * *

A few hours later, and Ianto was frustrated. He had another hour before his plan could be put into action, and he'd lost count of the amount of people who'd gone over to Jack, gave him a talking to and walked off, whilst sending _him_, Ianto Jones, a sympathetic smile. At some point in the evening, Jack had moved to hide out in a dark corner, near the bar, talking to Tosh and Rhys. To avoid the stares. It angered him that everyone seemed to have placed the blame on Jack. No one had come over and had vicious words with _him_, it was all Jack.

With an hour to spare, he supposed, there was something he could do. He knew it was corny, but hell, it was so true. He headed over to Jack, Tosh and Rhys. Ianto could feel everyone's eyes following him as he stalked towards the table. Especially the gossiping old women, probably hoping to be able to side with him some more. Or have another go at Jack. Instead, Ianto smiled warmly when he reached the table and offered his hand to Jack in a total 'May I have this dance' motion.

Jack was rather stunned when Ianto appeared before him, hand extended in true courtly fashion. But he had to choke back a laugh when the Welshman quoted Gwen's favourite film at him.

"Nobody puts Jack in the corner."

Tosh and Rhys beamed and Jack chuckled lowly, still eying Ianto's hand. He knew, deep down, that there was more to this than just a dance. Ianto was trying to make a point to everyone. Either that, or he was going out of his way to have one final dance. Perhaps in the same way he'd chased Jack out of the café for a final kiss.

"Come on," Ianto smiled at him, waggling his hand slightly in further invitation. "They've seen us dance before."

"Well, Yes." Jack agreed hesitantly. "But not...not when they've all given me lectures."

"I don't care." Ianto insisted. "Now c'mon, the sooner we prove to them that we can still be friends, the better."

"Alright." Jack took Ianto's hand, slightly worried about what everyone would think. He shook his head, he'd never had a problem dancing with Ianto before and he was _not_ about to start now. He didn't have to hide their relationship (or lack thereof), hell, the majority had been that their civil partnership. He was more worried of what people would make of them, dancing together when they were in the process of dissolving their civil union.

The Welshman led Jack onto the dance floor, as slow, romantic music struck up around them. Instinct and habit prompted Jack to snuggle in as they used to, but his brain shrieked about what a mistake that would be. Unsure what to do, Jack stood motionless, letting Ianto wrap his arms around his waist as they started to rock awkwardly on the spot.

"You know," Ianto whispered into Jack's ear. "If you continue to stand like that, they're going to think that, I'm clinging in hope you'll reconsider...and you'll get shouted at even more."

Jack chuckled and brought his hands up to rest on Ianto's shoulders. "Well, I know we'll end up having a 'why can't we work it out talk?'"

"Nah, lets not spoil Gwen and Rhys's party."

Jack sagged with relief and relaxed into the dance. "Gwen said you're getting up on the karaoke later."

Ianto blushed "Oh yeah, she and Rhys conned me into it."

"No...you volunteered." Jack teased.

"Don't damage my reputation of a shy, retiring, Welshman."

"You have a reputation?"

"How dare you, Jack Harkness!" they both laughed and everyone in the room who had been glaring or had words with Jack stared, stunned at the ease between the couple, finally accepting the possibility that there was something more to the current state of the relationship than just Jack being stupid. They could all feel their faces flushing that for automatically assuming Jack was to blame, just because they hadn't seen him grow up. They'd felt an awful sense of protectiveness for Ianto, ever since he'd brought home his first boyfriend.

Jack carried on swaying gently to the music, he cast his eyes about the room and he saw people glance at him ashamed before hurriedly looking away.

"I think you made your point."

Ianto beamed "Good, I was feeling left out. Everyone kept giving you earfuls and not me."

"Oh, poor baby. Want me to give you an earful?" the words were out of Jack's mouth before he could stop them.

"Is that a euphemism, Captain." Ianto winked.

Jack chuckled "If the shoe fits." the song they had been swaying to came to an end and Jack stepped back, out of Ianto's arms and stared at the Welshman. "Thank you...for this. Good luck later."

Ianto nodded his thanks and smiled when Jack leaned in and kissed his cheek. "See you soon." he whispered.

Jack nodded and walked off.

* * *

An hour later and Ianto knew he had about three minutes before he stepped up to sing. Nervous didn't cover how he was feeling. He shuddered and moved towards the stage as Gwen headed up and took the microphone as a rather drunken 'friend of the family' finished his version of 'Sweet home Alabama'.

"Hello!" Gwen beamed at everyone in the room. "I just wanted to thank you all for coming and supporting Rhys and I through our marriage. We've got this far." she grinned even wider. "But now, I ask you to show your support for Ianto, who's getting on Karaoke next."

Cheering echoed around the room as people watched the Welshman climb onto the stage and hug Gwen, whispering something in her ear. She shook her head in response and he smiled before turning to face the family and friends all sat at their tables smiling at him. He caught Jack's eye and nodded once at him. The music, a single piano, and nothing else played from the speakers.

"_It's never been easy for me to find words to go along with a melody. But this time there's actually something, on my mind so please forgive these few brief awkward lines..._" Ianto closed his eyes and tried to ignore the people watching him. He'd never been good at singing in public.

"_Since I met you, my whole life has changed, it's not just my furniture you've rearranged. I was living in the past, but somehow you've brought me back and I haven't felt like this since before Frankie said relax. And while I know, based on my track record, I might not seem like the safest bet. All I'm asking you is don't write me off, just yet..._" he could feel the tears behind his closed eyelids. He'd expected to get emotional when he sung, but not this early in the song. He opened his eyes and smiled. His gaze travelled around the room until he caught Jack's eye again, holding the eye lock just long enough for Jack to get the message. This was for him.

"_For years I've been telling myself the same old story; that I'm happy to live off my so-called former glories, but you've given me a reason to take another chance. Now I need you, despite the fact that you've killed all my plants._" a few chuckles rang around the room. But Jack smiled at him and nodded. He'd got the message. Ianto just wished there'd been a smile to go along with the realisation.

"_And though I know, I've already blown more chances than anyone should ever get, all I'm asking you is don't write me off, just yet...Don't write me off just yet_." his voice trailed of with the final note and he sniffed back the tears threatening to tumble down his cheeks as the crowd burst into loud applause. His eyes sort out Jack's again, but he couldn't find the American anywhere.

* * *

Jack had got the message loud and clear. Any other day he would have jumped on the stage at the end of the song and kissed Ianto senseless. But not today. The tears had been streaming down his cheeks since Ianto had moved into the final verse of the song. He could feel his heart racing and he ran. Not far. He was outside, in the pouring rain, hoping that it would mask the tears streaming down his cheeks. He loved Ianto and he couldn't deny it. He didn't want to deny it. He just couldn't _trust_ him not to hurt him again. For once in his life he was running scared from Ianto Jones.

He heard the door open and John Hart and Donna appeared before him. John took one look at him and held out his arms. Just like that first few weeks after he and Ianto had split. He collapsed into his friends arms and Donna rubbed his back comfortingly.

"What are we gonna do with you?" Donna murmured.

The words echoed in his head and he managed to shrug his shoulders. Neither of the group of three saw the little old lady in the door way. She'd been watching Jack through the entire performance and as he left, she'd moved to follow him. But then, in her old age, she wasn't as quick as she used to be and John and Donna had gotten to Jack first. She let the door fall closed behind her and John looked up at her. She nodded at Jack and walked forward and patted Jack's back.

"When he's calm...I want to talk to him." she smiled at them. Donna and John just nodded.

**AN- ****I**** don't own the song 'Don't write me off' Hugh Grant has that pleasure, though ****I**** don't think he wrote it.**

**Also, for those of you who are interested. Fight For This Love has a cover now...Thank you to the wonderful CJHARKNESSGIRL on Live Journal. http:(double forward slash)i487(dot)photobucket(dot)com(forward slash)albums(forward slash)rr238(forward slash)cjharknessgirl(forward slash)fightforlove(dot)jpg I'm sure you all know what is like for links lol!  
**


	27. Chapter 27

**AN. Hello there! Well my internet is back! YAY! So, hopefully will get back onto routine. ****I**** do apologise for any massive delays between chapters, as ****I**** am back at university now. Though ****I**** am hoping to get ahead of myself, chapter wise so that ****I**** can concentrate on uni work and write in between.**

**Thank you so much for all your reviews and alerts! They mean the world!**

**Quiet Time, ****I**** couldn't do this without your support! Thank you so much for the beta and the never ending patience when ****I**** say things that don't make sense! **

**Let me know what you think!**

Chapter 27- It'll be lonely this Christmas, without you to hold.

Estelle Cole was one of the few of the elderly ladies who hadn't had _words_ with Jack. So the American was more than okay with John and Donna leaving him with her for a chat. It seemed she_ was_ going to talk to him about his relationship though...but Jack felt comfortably certain that she wasn't going to judge him for the decisions he and Ianto had made. Estelle was a long time family friend.

Although Jack had been brought up in America, he had been born and lived in Wales for the first four years of his life. She'd known Jack literally all his life – she was the midwife who had delivered him when his mother went into active labour quite suddenly at Cardiff Bay, and she'd been 'Grandma 'elle' to Jack since he'd begun to talk.

The Harkness's and Cole's had remained friends across the countries. When he requested to come back to Wales for his university years, his parents initial uncertainty vanished when Estelle offered him her spare room until he could move into his university accommodation.

When Jack's parents died, Estelle had offered her support and helped him arrange the funeral. Ianto at the time, hadn't known how close Estelle was to Jack. It wasn't until after the funeral that he had found out. Since Estelle had lived down the road from Gwen's parents, it was no surprise for Jack to see her here. And of all the motherly lectures he'd gotten this evening, Estelle's was possibly the only one which might actually prove helpful.

"So...gonna tell me what's going on with you and Ianto?" Estelle enquired, with her usual straightforward approach. "I mean, I've heard rumours, but I would have thought if they had any support, you would have told me."

Jack flushed guiltily. "I've been in Japan for the last four months."

"That's not an excuse," Estelle said sternly. Jack wouldn't have been surprised if she'd wagged a finger at him. "You know I have an e-mail, you set it up for me. Now, young man, what exactly is going on with you and the Jones boy."

"Nothing," Jack mumbled, shifting from foot to foot, feeling once more like the child who'd stolen green apples from a neighbour's tree. And she'd known then, too, that he was lying about what caused his stomach ache.

Estelle tapped a foot impatiently. "And he's singing a song like _that _whilst gazing at you, just for fun then?"

"It's not that, Estelle, I can't...he hurt me." Jack choked the words out quietly.

"Did he hit you?" The elderly welshwoman was concerned. Ridiculous as that concept was, Jack's heart warmed from the knowledge that at least this one person was quite firmly in his corner.

"No, of course not," Jack protested. "Not like that-"

The elderly Welshwoman cut him off "Verbal abuse then? Or emotional?"

Jack looked at her blankly.

Estelle sighed. "Like telling you that you're not good enough? Or making you believe you weren't good enough for him."

"Oh," Jack said, suddenly understanding what she was getting at. "No, if anything he kept saying he thought _he_ wasn't good enough."

Estelle frowned thoughtfully. "I can see it in your eyes that you're not lying...but then how _did_ he hurt you?"

"He's changed Grandma 'elle" the old nickname slipped out making the elderly woman guide Jack to a bench outside the club and sit him down, beside her.

"How so?"

The comforting arm around him, the motherly eyes looking into his with concern, all of it finally unleashed everything Jack had been holding back. The words came out in a torrent.

"He thought I was cheating on him. He was getting on my back about washing, cleaning and dishes, even if they'd only been in the sink a few minutes. Everything I did wasn't good enough. I didn't hang my shirts right, put my briefcase in the exact same spot he did, I didn't answer the phone right...everything I did...he nitpicked to the point where I felt like I couldn't do anything right for him. I've never had so little confidence in my own abilities. I've never cried as much as I have in the last few _days._ He keeps doing all these little things to say goodbye, one final dance, kiss, gesture...I don't want to 'elle, but what do I do?"

Estelle waited until the flood ran dry then eyed the man before him with sympathy,. "That song in there didn't seem like it was a 'goodbye' Jack. That seemed like it was a last ditch attempt to win you back."

Jack looked up at her with a gleam of hope in his eyes. "You think?"

Estelle smiled at him and rubbed his arm. "C'mon son, you're a smart boy, he was singing a song that had the lyrics 'Don't write me off, just yet..' and you thought that was a 'goodbye' are you mad?"

The American blushed a deep red. "I was too busy trying to find an escape route out of there when I realised he was singing to me, that I only paid attention to a certain amount of the lyrics."

"Twypsn." Estelle shoved his shoulder affectionately. "How long have you two been together?"

"Just over eleven years...by a few days."

"How long have you been in a Civil Partnership?"

"Five and a half."

"And you _can't _tell what he's doing?"

Jack raised his eyebrows. "Clearly not."

"He's doing everything he can, to win you back! Come on Jack..."

"Really?" Jack asked, he couldn't stop the hope spreading into his voice. "Should I do something back...to acknowledge them?"

"Yes!" Estelle answered, Jack could've sworn she was trying not to roll her eyes. "He asks you to dance, the kisses, the song...How can you have missed it? Send him a letter, a poem, anything! Just acknowledge his attempts and let him know if he has any chance of winning you back."

"Maybe I didn't want to see it." Jack sighed. In spite of the new surge of hope, doubts still swirled inside him. "A part of me thinks we need the break to appreciate each other more. Anyway, I can't expect him to be happy with me. I took the Japan project knowing he didn't want me to go, and I have to go back in March. He'll never get back with me if that's the case. I'm sure their must be something I can do to show him I got the message."

Estelle gave Jack a disbelieving look. "Jack...I think he's past the point of caring if you have to go to Japan for a business trip, it's pre-planned, he won't make a fuss."

"I don't think I'm ready to forget what happened," Jack admitted. "I mean, I know I've hurt him too. But I don't think I can trust him again just yet. I can't get hurt like that again 'elle...I love him far too much."

Their conversation had been so undisrupted, that when the rather choked welsh voice spoke behind them, they both jumped and spun quickly, Jack grasping Estelle's hand to keep her steady. The American felt his heart break when he saw the look of utter devastation on the face of Ianto Jones. Who had obviously just heard the last line. The words were spoken so quietly, that Jack had to listen so carefully not to miss them.

"So give me a chance to earn your trust back, Jack."

Jack eyed the Welshman before him. "You'll be okay with me going back to Japan in March?"

Ianto nodded once. Sharply and quickly. "Course."

"Alright. Earn my trust back, Ianto. Prove to me you won't hurt me like this again. Show me you love me, without actually telling me. Show me that you _trust _ me. Prove to me Ianto, then we'll see were we stand."

"And you should try trusting _him_ as well." Estelle cut in, giving Jack a stern look that would make most men run for the hills. "Trust has to go both directions, Jack, if it's going to work at all."

Jack glanced at the one person who had known him his entire life and leant back against the wall. "I'll try." he glanced at Ianto. "I will, but...it hurt, you being so closed of and accusing...it might take me awhile."

"I'll wait as long as you need." Ianto murmured.

"Okay." it was as if that one word had broken through all their defences and Jack soon found himself with an armful of shuddering Welshman. Ianto threw his arms around Jack tightly, hugging him close.

"Thank you." Ianto choked out.

Jack nodded, breathed in and blinked his own burning eyes before placing a gentle kiss on Ianto's forehead. "This is me, giving you an olive branch...just... please...don't grasp it so hard it snaps."

* * *

Christmas day dawned cold, snowy but with blue skies and bright sunshine. The sunshine reflecting off the freshly fallen snow was what awoke Jack that morning. It took several minutes for him to realise he was sleeping on the couch in Owen and Tosh's flat. They had been adamant that he not spend Christmas morning alone. So he had agreed to spend the morning with them, before he went to Estelle's for Christmas afternoon.

Jack came to full awareness when his phone beeped at him, indicating he had a text message. Jack eyed it for a moment before picking up the blackberry and looking at the message indicator. The little closed envelope on the screen with 'Ianto' written underneath it dominated the screen. Since their conversation outside the club seven days previously they hadn't spoken bar the occasional 'how are you?' text. Jack sighed and clicked the button to open the message, then smiled.

_Nadolig Llawen, Cariad. Hope you have a nice Christmas. Thinking of you and wishing you were here with me to wake up with. R'wyn di garu di xxx_

Jack smiled again. This was Ianto, tentatively taking hold of the tip of the olive branch he had offered him at the party. Praying it wouldn't snap under his eager hands. Jack felt an odd fluttering as he stared at the message. A fluttering in his stomach he hadn't felt for a long time. The smile spread across his face, then a laugh bubbled in his throat as he sat up. He leaned on his elbow and texted back as quick as his sleep befuddled mind would allow him.

_Merry Christmas. Love you too xxx _

Olive branch extended, grasped and received.

* * *

When Ianto Jones's phone beeped, just over a minute after he'd sent his text, he eyed it nervously. Then took a deep breath, picked up the mobile and eyed the message alert staring back at him until the light faded to black. He sighed and with shaking fingers clicked the middle button of his keypad to activate the screen and then again to open the message.

_Merry Christmas. Love you too xxx_ stared back at him. Ianto felt his heart skip a beat. The branch was holding strong. He knew Jack hadn't wanted 'I love you' in words. He'd opted for the Welsh as a running joke between them. Jack had learnt fairly early on in their relationship what R'wyn di garu di' meant. It had become something of a joke for them. He'd prayed Jack would take it as it was meant. Feeling eyes boring into him, Ianto glanced up to find David and Micah staring at him.

"Is that Uncle Jack?" David asked.

Ianto nodded.

"Can we phone him?" Micah begged. "I wanted to wish him 'happy Christmas'."

"I don't know sweatpea..." Ianto murmured. "He might be busy." The Welshman shivered. When he'd awoke that morning, he'd been so alone. So cold. There was no one their greeting him with a smile or a kiss. It had been lonely before the holidays, but waking up on Christmas morning had been the loneliest he'd felt since Jack left.

"But he told us we could call him." David said confidently.

Ianto blinked. "When?"

"At the party. Said if we ever wanted to talk we could. So can we phone him?"

Ianto felt his heart soar with hope. Jack wanted to remain in contact with his family. He nodded at the kids and pressed the speed dial for Jack's number. He'd never changed it. He glanced at Rhiannon and Johnny and couldn't help laughing as they too gathered round the phone as Ianto laid it on the table, speaker phone active.

When the phone rang around ten minutes after he'd sent the text, Jack assumed with was Gwen or Rhys with the well wishes. He answered the phone without looking at the 'caller ID'.

"Merry Christmas!" he called down the phone.

"Nadolig Llawen!" was the response from at least four voices. He could distinguish two immediately.

"Micah! David! How are you?"

"It's Christmas!" David dead panned.

"Did Santa come?"

"Yup, he even left us presents from you. With a note saying that you'd asked him to do it."

"I did. Do you like them?"

"Yes!" Micah cried over her brother. "I love my 'belle' costume."

"You'll be the prettiest girl in all the world!" Jack laughed. He quickly glanced at the 'caller ID' and smiled when he noticed they were using Ianto's mobile. "Does Uncle Ianto know your using his phone?"

"I do." Ianto's voice came over the phone. "I'm supervising their minutes."

"Oh give over Ianto!" Rhiannon chipped in. The kids laugher echoed through the phone as Rhiannon continued. "Thank you for my necklace Jack! It's beautiful."

"Your welcome. It's from Japan."

"I'll keep it safe." she laughed.

"I wouldn't trust anyone more." Jack smiled. "How's Johnny?"

"I'm here. Thanks for the shirt and CD."

"Welcome." Jack responded again.

"We'll go finish up Christmas dinner, "Rhiannon said, "have a lovely day, Jack, the kids are playing with their presents, so it's just Ianto.

"Not to worry, Merry Christmas!" He paused for a minute, waiting for Ianto to say something. He was well aware, even down the phone that Ianto was nervous. Truth be told, Jack hadn't known what to get the Welshman. It was only when browsing a store in Japan on his last day, that Jack noticed the finely tailored suit in the store. He knew Ianto always appreciated fine craftsmanship.

It was an expensive gift, probably more so than he should give someone he was in the midst of divorcing, but it might also be the last Christmas gift he'd ever be able to buy for Ianto, It was the best...and probably the most expensive suit Ianto would own.

"You're welcome too, Ianto," Jack said.

Ianto released the breath he was holding. "It's beautiful Jack. I've never seen such fine work."

Jack beamed. "I found it, by chance in Japan actually. And don't let your father hear you saying that about suits."

Ianto snorted down the phone. "It's perfect. Thank you." he paused "I wasn't sure where you would be this Christmas, so I left your gift with Estelle. I know you always go there at some point...we both normally do." But Ianto knew he wouldn't be going there today, Estelle was as much Jack's family and Rhiannon and Johnny were Ianto's.

"Not to worry. I'm sure I'll love it."

"I hope so...I bought it before our talk at the party."

"I'll bear that in mind." Jack chuckled. "Am I going to need to defend myself against it?"

"Of course...it'll probably try to suffocate you with wrapping paper and cellotape."

"I'll be sure to carry a lighter then." The teasing banter would have continued, had Tosh and Owen not popped their heads round the door and told Jack breakfast was ready. "I better go." Jack said reluctantly "Breakfast with Tosh and Owen and Christmas dinner...not sure what's worse."

Ianto snorted "Tosh cooking fine...it depends if Owen tried to _help_."

Jack chuckled. "Enjoy the rest of the day, give everyone my love. Your parents included."

"I will. Take care."

"And you." there was an awkward pause where they both seemed to be waiting for something else to be said. Finally, Jack sighed and took a plunge. "Hang up?"

"No...you." Ianto laughed.

"Oh, are we _seriously_ going to do this?"

"Well hang up!" Ianto's laughter was echoing down the line.

"No, y-" the phone on Jack's end went dead and Ianto blinked in astonishment. His phone beeped before his brain could fully process. He opened the text and laughed out loud.

_Owen hung up!_


	28. Chapter 28

**AN- It feels very strange to be writing a New Years chapter in early October. For time lines sake, this is December 2010.**

**A huge thank ****you to everyone who's reviewed, favourited or alerted they mean a lot. This chapter has had to be separated into 2, because it was so long LOL!**

**I don't think there are thanks big enough for me to give to Quiet Time for her endless patience and putting up with me sending her numerous versions of the same chapter before I'm happy with it...so THANK YOU!**

**Also, a special thanks, to Rietta, who, even though she isn't beta'ing this story, is still allowing me to rant at her, when the plot bunnies decide to confuse me!**

Chapter 28-With you, there's a heaven, so earth ain't so bad.

Christmas Day was everything Jack could have hoped for, in the circumstances. He'd spent it with Estelle, as planned. They'd had Christmas dinner at restaurant down the road and then gone back to the house to exchange and open presents. Estelle had been delighted to hand over Ianto's present which consisted of a card, a white envelope and a squishy package wrapped in green paper with Rudolphs in various poses all over. When Jack opened them, he was confronted with opened hoover bags with a note in Ianto's hand writing. _To help control my addiction to cleaning, return to me, one hoover bag on the 15__th__ of each month. Love, Ianto. _Jack had collapsed into laughter and it had been several minutes before he recovered enough to explain the gift to Estelle. At the same time, he'd felt an uncontrollable surge of relief flood through him. The relief was in two parts, the most prominent surge being that Ianto actually wanted to kick the cleaning obsession he'd developed and the second was that Ianto_ wanted _to see him. The white envelope had consisted of two tickets to the West End show Wicked with another note. _I picked this because I know it's your favourite and you've never been to see it. It's up to you who you take with you, I hope you have a wonderful time. Ianto xxx. _The note was hopeful and saddening at the same time. Jack decided then and there that he would offer the second ticket to Ianto.

* * *

New Years Eve loomed. There was a tradition amongst their friends that each year they hosted a party, taking turns between each household. This year should have been Jack and Ianto's turn to host. Amongst the texts and emails he and Ianto had exchanged between Christmas day and now Jack found that Ianto was trying to host the party on his own, He'd hesitated between offering to help and trying not to interfere until a further text confirmed that Tosh and Owen would be taking over.

Whereupon Jack had a new dilemma to wrestle with. Midnight. Ianto had been his New Year's kiss for as long as Jack wanted to remember, but he had no right to assume that this year, did he? And what if he had to watch Ianto kissing someone else? Surely he shouldn't have to watch that...the whole situation wasn't because he didn't _love_ Ianto...it was because, he didn't _like_ the Ianto he had become...although, lately, the Welshman Jack had first met and fall for seemed to be appearing more and more.

Tonight was New Year's eve. Last night, he'd sent Owen a text saying he didn't think it would be right for him to attend.

Jack stood in front of his wardrobe, hanging up shirts and trying not to think about the fact that normally, he would be spending this time trying to decide what to wear to the party. The American was startled out of his musings when the phone rang.

"Harkness." he answered, voice professional.

"What's this about you not coming to the party tonight?"

Jack flinched. He'd done so well avoiding the phone all day, but his work phone had rang, instinct was to answer it. Sneaky Toshiko.

"Tosh, listen to me princess, I just...I don't want to bring the party down. Ianto and I are only just getting back to somewhat normal. Me coming would probably just put a damper on the whole thing."

His hands moved automatically, still hanging up shirts almost like part of him was trying to ignore the situation, or at least avoid confronting it. Gazing into the mirror, hanging on the inside of his wardrobe door he could see the dark circles surrounding his eyes.

"That's not an excuse, Jack. You'll put a downer on the party if you're _not_ there. Because Owen, myself, Gwen, Rhys, John and Donna will know that_ our_ friend is celebrating New Years alone! How is that fair?"

"Tosh..."

"And I've had Ianto on the phone saying he'll go to his family for the evening instead. I had a hell of time convincing him to change his mind."

Jack blinked. "Why would he…"

"Because he thinks you're just trying to avoid him," Tosh interrupted.

Jack rubbed a hand across his face. "That's not true," he said weakly. "I just…"

"No!" Tosh snapped. "No more excuses. I expect you at the party, Frog...even if you just sit in the corner and do nothing."

"Alright, woman," Jack said resolution crumbling beneath the load of guilt Tosh was heaping on him. "But I'm only agreeing because I'm scared you'll come and drag me there by the ear if I don't turn up."

Tosh laughed into the phone.

"You got that right. Eight thirty, no later."

"Alright, later."

"Bye." The dial tone rang in his ear. Jack turned back to the wardrobe, grabbed a sapphire blue shirt that he had just finished hanging up and pulled it back off the hanger before reaching for his good black jeans. He quickly pulled on the shirt, fastening up the buttons then pulled on the jeans and then tucked the shirt into them. He stooped to the bottom of the wardrobe and found the patent leather shoes kept especially for good occasions. He tried not to dwell on why he'd chosen Ianto's favourite outfit. The jeans were his smartest and comfiest, and the shirt was newly ironed...That was all.

Jack glanced at the time. Eight, he had time to eat something before he went. As he was cooking a bowl of soup on the stove, he cast his mind back over the last few days. The soup boiled in the pan and he tipped it into a bowl, before grabbing to slices of white bread and sitting at the breakfast bar. Each peace of bread he dunked in the soup, and then ate, felt like a lead weight in his stomach, he was so tired. He knew this was likely to be in part a slight depression. He'd been feeling increasingly down since before he came back from Japan. Emotional, confused and lacking in confidence. He'd spoken to Owen, who'd said it was likely to be stress because of everything Jack was going through. It was also probably why he seemed more prone to tears as of late. He knew that this was likely also due to the holiday season. His first one 'alone' in eleven years.

Twenty minutes later, soup eaten, breakfast bar wiped down, and dishes washed; he grabbed the bottles of champagne he had bought for the occasion,snatched up his keys, phone and wallet and then moved to the door and headed to the party. As he walked down the stairs his mobile beeped. A text, from Estelle..._"Just remember, tonight is a new beginning, a new year...love you, darling."_

* * *

Being single sucked. That was what Ianto was aware of as he tried not to stick out like a sore thumb amidst the party full of happy couples. Well, mostly couples...all the other single people, like him, where trying to avoid sticking out. Okay, technically he wasn't single, but he _was _separated, which meant he could flirt and be hit on, but he knew everyone in the room and he didn't particularly want to spend time flirting with them. He just didn't want it.

Ten o'clock saw Ianto migrating to one of the other lonely figures he could see across the room. Jack was leaning against the kitchen counter, watching people pass by, occasionally talking to them and sharing jokes. He had played with the kids and took part in a rather brief drinking game, but now, was just watching. This worried Ianto more than the false smiles and laughter he had noticed Jack using before he'd walked out seven months ago now. It worried him more than any mashed potato could. Because, no matter what, Jack Harkness(-Jones: if you want to get technical) was never quiet.

Ianto beamed when he caught site of an unused champagne bottle. He picked it up and walked casually over to Jack. He poured two glasses, then nudged Jack with his elbow and held the glass before him.

"Hi." Jack smiled softly. "Thanks."

Ianto grinned "Hi...you're welcome." God, conversation never used to be this awkward between them. Even Christmas day it had flowed quite naturally.

* * *

Ten thirty and a bottle of champagne later saw Ianto Jones in the most unexpected situation. Sat on the grass in Tosh and Owen's garden, curled up against his _husband_ as they joked and laughed with each other, the only 'singles' in a sea of couples and awash in nostalgia, they'd ended up with their drinks on the lawn just talking. Jack was telling stories of his time in Japan and Ianto was catching Jack up on what had happened in those months. Neither of them strayed near the topic of the dissolution. For tonight, it didn't exist. For tonight, or so it felt, they were just Jack and Ianto...no worries, no dissolution, no arguments. Ianto liked it.

He had no way of knowing Jack was thinking the same thing.

Eleven saw them slightly more tipsy, Ianto's head resting on Jack's shoulder as they sat in silence. There were no more words to be spoken between them for the moment. They didn't want to have to face the issues that were tearing them apart, not on New Years eve. Jack smiled and glanced down at Ianto. From the position he was in, he could just make out the cute button nose that Jack had kissed often, or in their more romantic moments, rubbed his own nose against. "Ianto," He said hesitantly.

"Hmm."

"Do you ever wish things were different?"

Ianto pressed closer. "All the time."

Jack nodded against his head. "Yeah. Me too..." the pause was long and extended. "Maybe for tonight...just tonight, everything can be. No dissolution, no separation, no arguing...just you and me" Jack smiled. "And a ridiculous amount of alcohol to justify any bad decisions." The American waggled his eyebrows suggestively; alcohol making him more confident.

Ianto chuckled, "I like that idea...but what do we do about tomorrow? When everything goes back to how it is?"

Jack leant in a gently kissed Ianto's forehead. "I guess we just have to wait and see."

"Hmm, tomorrow's are always rather suspicious."

"Are they? I wasn't aware they could be."

"Well, think about it," Ianto announced, waving his glass. "You never know what's gonna happen 'tomorrow' it's a guessing game...it's why I like to live in the 'now'."

The American chuckled. "Even drunk, you make a weird kind of sense."

Ianto beamed. "It's why you love me."

"Just one of the reasons, bean...just one."

* * *

Twenty seconds before midnight and everyone was shouting, finding their partners across the room, smiling as they reached their partner's sides. Jack glanced at Ianto. They were both leaning against the wall, out of everyone's way as the count down began.

"Ten, nine, eight, seven, six...!" the chanting got louder. Jack glanced at the Welshman out of the corner of his eyes, and noticed the tear that was making it's way down his cheek. Something inside of him twinged and he wished nothing more than to pull the man into his arms and erase the last few months. But he didn't have that power, no matter how much he wished. Instead, he lifted his hand and wiped away the lonely tear. "Don't cry, bean." But a tear forced its way out of his own eye, as he remembered so many other midnights,

Ianto lifted his head and leaned into Jack's hand as the cheers echoed around the room, party poppers crackled and spurted their colourful streams of paper over heads, people kissed, laughed and drank, toasting the new year all around them. So many new beginnings starting. Their own, although new, were uncertain. Without each other, they were alone and neither one knew if that was what they wanted. Not really thinking, Jack moved his hand to cup Ianto's chin and stroked his thumb down his cheek. He turned to face the Welshman, and kept his hand to his face, before gently lowering his lips to meet Ianto's in a kiss, sending a fire through both of them and setting free the butterflies in both their stomachs. Ianto opened his mouth underneath the warm press of Jack's lips. He raised his arms to wrap them around Jack's neck, pressing close and allowing Jack's warm, familiar tongue to grace through his lips and sweep his mouth a gentle caress that tasted of love and security.

Neither one cared if it was alcohol making them do this. This was home. They pulled back as one, and rested their foreheads together. "Happy New Year." Jack murmured.

"Happy New Year, Cariad." His knees week, Ianto leaned against Jack's chest panting lightly. "I think..." he gasped. "I think that was nowhere near enough…"

Jack quirked an eyebrow, in that manner that turned Ianto on. "That's just the kiss, imagine the buzz you'd get from the rest."

Ianto drew back to check that he'd heard right. Jack's eyebrow was still doing it's thing, and the glint in the eyes beneath was unmistakeable.

"So. Leaving. Now." Ianto groaned, shoving himself back from Jack and pushing him towards the door. "Your place or mine?" Ianto asked.

"Yours." Jack whispered hotly in the Welshman's ear, pressing close, he trailed his hand down Ianto's taunt, shirt-covered stomach and towards his groin, before squeezing his half hard cock through his jeans. Then he smiled, winked and began walking towards the door quickly.

"Fuck Jack." Ianto gasped.

"I do believe that's the plan." feeling like words had completely left his vocabulary, Ianto grasped the front of Jack's shirt and kissed him passionately as they stumbled out into the front garden of Tosh and Owen's house, without saying goodbye to anyone.

They didn't hear the ragged cheers which followed them.


	29. Chapter 29

**AN- Well, aren't I good...two chapters so close togetherXD For the remainder of this chapter, I am going to be cowering behind the sofa.**

*** places tissues and weapons on the table ***

**This chapter has probably been the hardest to write, because there was so much small detail that had to be gotten perfect or explained. I'm hoping this will answer a lot of questions for a lot of you. **

**Chapter 30 is bullet pointed an on my to do list. I do have to chase up my placement for university, so that's just above 30. But I do know how this story ends, the final scene is already written XD aren't I good...**

**A huge, huge, HUGE thank you to Quiet Time for well...EVERYTHING. Here it is girl...it's been plaguing us for so long!**

**To Rietta, because it's her Birthday and I just wanted to say 'THANK YOU' for everything and anything you've done, your amazing.**

**Let me know what you think. Xx Enjoy!**

Chapter 29- Anyone can hurt someone they love, hearts will break.

Thirty minutes later they arrived at outside Ianto's (their) apartment block. The walk back having taken an extra fifteen minutes because on an unscheduled stop for a hot kissing session against a lamppost on Penarth Road.

"Fuck." Jack breathed. "I've not been this hard in months." The heat of Jack's breath danced across Ianto's neck as he struggled to unlock the outer door, driving the Welshman wild.

"That's good." Ianto panted "M…means the sex will be extra hot and steamy."

"Oh, Yeah," the American leaned closer so Ianto could see the sexy smirk on his face. "But it's always extra hot with you, Jones."

"Yes!" Ianto gasped, as he managed to get the key in the lock to turn it. They fell through, laughing breathlessly as the door swung open, admitting them to the building. Ianto cast his eyes to Jack, then glanced at the stairs and the lift in question.

"Lift." Jack smiled. "I don't think either of us can walk with these." he nodded down at their solid erections. "Besides..." he smirked dirtily "Do you still have that stopwatch?"

Ianto nodded dumbly, all the blood from his brain pooling south in his groin as he remembered the sort of activities Jack got up to with the stopwatch around. "But it's upstairs."

"I was going to see how long it could take for me to get you off," Jack explained, grinning at the fleeting expression of disappointment on Ianto's face. "But I suppose, as long as you're done before the lift reaches the floor..." Jack smirked wickedly and lunged for Ianto again.

The Welshman sagged against the doors as his lover began an unrelenting assault on his neck. "They'll open any second," he gasped.

Jack paused only long enough to mutter "So?" before resuming his assault.

"Don't let me fall" Ianto implored.

"Never." Jack hissed-and that definitely meant more than the obvious.

Moments later Jack had Ianto gasping and clutching at him as he worked him to orgasm using nothing but his mouth. Kisses rained down on the Welshman's neck sucking, leaving red little marks peppered amongst the pale flesh and soothing nips as he went. The door pinged. Ianto swayed slightly as the support vanished from behind his back, but Jack clutched him close then walked them backwards, until the lift wall connected with Ianto's back. Ianto let Jack pin him to yet another wall as the American continued his ministrations.

"Oh Jack." he gasped as he managed to thump the button for the 12th floor. "So close."

"Mmm" Jack murmured "I can feel." As he spoke, his slid his hand to the front of Ianto's jeans and began palming him just the way the Welshman liked, remembering what Ianto enjoyed and what got him to come quickest. A primal cry tore from Ianto's throat as he bucked into Jack's hand.

"C'mon blue eyes." he whispered "Come for me." As Jack finished speaking, he sped up the palming and bit on the skin, where the Welshman's neck met his shoulder.

As the lift slid gracefully to a stop, Jack gave an expert twist. Ianto cried out as he came in time with the arrival bell. "Jack!"

Jack pulled back and beamed as he watched his beloved Welshman come undone against him. "God, I'm good." he praised himself.

Still in the midst of his orgasm, Ianto barely noticed as Jack guided him out of the lift, supporting him the entire way. Jack held him close and rocked slightly as Ianto came down from his high, sagging against the American. Once he was sure the Welshman had enough of his bearings, Jack let him stand unaided, still holding him close.

Ianto raised his head and kissed Jack tenderly, conveying everything he was too afraid to say, before opening the door and admitting them both.

They stumbled through the apartment holding each other tightly, sweet, chaste kisses passed between them, gentle, reassuring and caring. Even with his eyes closed, Jack could still find his way to the master bedroom in the flat, despite having not set foot in the apartment for nearly half a year. They passed through the open bedroom door and Jack kicked it shut, refusing to let go of Ianto. The impact as the back of the Welshman's knees hit the side of the bed caused Ianto to pull back and look Jack in the eyes.

"Are we sure this is wise?"

"I think we both know it's a fucking stupid idea, Bean, but I'm so damned hard right now that I don't see that knowledge as a reason to stop."

Ianto ducked his head "I don't think I _can_ stop...let alone ask_ you_ to stop."

"Me either." Jack agreed.

"Oh good." Ianto murmured. He knelt on the bed and ran his fingers over Jack's shirt, unbuttoning several buttons as he went, before running his fingers over the smooth chest. Jack nuzzled his neck until Ianto raised his head enough for Jack to place gentle butterfly kisses on his lips. The Welshman smiled into the kisses then gave a quick tug, and fell back onto the bed with Jack on top of him.

"Mmm, this is familiar." Jack teased.

"Yeah." For long minutes they kissed lightly, murmuring nonsense to each other. After a few moments of tantalising kisses Ianto started pushing Jack's shirt off his shoulders and running his fingers over his skin, caressing and planting kisses and nips and soothing them away with gentle words and touches. The kissing became more and more passionate and hands removed clothing frantically as they moved together.

Ianto stretched an arm out to fumble in the bedside drawer. His roaming hands located the bottle of lube and placed it on the bed. His hand shook slightly as he reached back in, grabbed the item he sought and offered it up to Jack.

The American ceased his assault on Ianto's neck and gazed at the square foil in his _husbands_ hand. His brain began to deny it immediately, knowing what it must signify but not wanting to admit it.

Jack shook his head. "Ianto, I've not been with anyone else."

The Welshman could feel his cheeks flame. Jack sat back, straddling Ianto's legs as the realisation sank in. "Oh...you...who?" the question burned the back of Jack's throat.

Ianto dropped his eyes. "Just some guy."

"Oh...I..." the American pushed himself away from him and then blinked. "You didn't know the guy's name? That's not like you."

Ianto paled. "Well...I did. I do...but...promise me you won't hate me...or him for that matter."

"Why would I? I mean, I'm shocked...and maybe a little angry, but we're not technically together." A wave of jealousy swamped Jack brain regardless. Jealousy and dread. "Unless….unless you're gonna tell me it was Adam..."

Ianto fell silent and glanced to the floor.

"Oh, Ianto...please tell me you didn't."

"I can't," Ianto whispered. "I wish I could"

Jack turned abruptly away from the Welshman, unable to look at him. Adam had made it clear in Uni that he'd wanted Ianto. When Ianto and Jack had gotten together and become exclusive, he'd stopped trying to seduce the Welshman...well almost, it was around the time Jack's parents died in his second year that Adam finally stopped. Anger flared in the American. He could have handled Ianto sleeping with anyone...anyone but fucking Adam Smith!

"Fucking _hell_ Ianto. Adam! Really? You could have anyone in the world, but you choose the one who'd hurt me most...What were you thinking!"

"I wasn't!" Ianto cried, "and you _can't_ hold it against me! You said it yourself. We weren't together! And you can hardly talk! You snogged him in the lift!"

"Somehow a kiss doesn't seem as bad as shagging him! And I never denied kissing him or hid it from you!"

"You didn't need to, I got the live show!"

"Ianto…I would have told you anyway. If we were getting back together, I would have told you. But...I mean...hell Ianto, I thought it was _over_ completely..."

Ianto sighed. "Yeah. I thought I'd lost you too."

After a moment of awkward silence, Ianto continued. "You left me. You filed for dissolution. I felt like shit. Can you really blame me for turning to someone else?"

"It's not about you shagging _someone," _Jack said defensively. "It's about you shagging _Adam!_Fucking hell, you _know_ how he feels about you."

"How he used to feel about me," Ianto corrected. "And you can't get on your high horse about Adam, I know you don't like him...but if you don't like him _that_ much, why did you kiss him?"

"I don't have an _excuse_ for kissing him. I was drunk and emotionally unstable...but it's not an excuse, I accept that, I was pissed and a small part of me was working towards forgiving him...you know, for trying to split us up so much in Uni. I was growing up and getting over it and now _this!_ Forgive me, if I'm not so good on the forgiving."

"So, what, you can be flighty and shit when we're together but I can't be with Adam because of something he did ten _years_ ago!"

"I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU!" Jack thundered, tears behind his eyes. "Why do you think I would!"

Ianto was quiet, his head still down unable to meet Jack's eyes. "You've done it before. Not _to_ me, but…to Tallulah.._.with_ me..."

Jack felt his temper flare again but stamped it down. "I was young, stupid and naïve...are you really gonna hold that against me?"

Ianto leaned back and looked at him. "We'd been on _four _dates and you hadn't broken up with _her. _I wouldn't have minded if you'd explained it to me...what was going on in your head...but you didn't."

The American sighed "I didn't know, okay? I'd never had strong feelings for a guy before I met you. Then I realised that what I felt for her was nothing more than friendship...am I not allowed to be unsure, confused, make mistakes?"

"I didn't want to be some confused guy's mistake."

"You never were." Jack cried, "When did I ever make you feel that way!"

"You _made_ me feel that way when I had to find out about Tallulah from Gwen! It wouldn't have been such a fucking _issue_, if you hadn't _slept_ with me, _before_ you dumped your girlfriend."

Jack groaned "And this makes you think I'd cheat on you now? I know I made lots of mistakes when I was younger, but I was seventeen. I've grown since then...You know how much I wish I'd had the guts to tell you, rather than have you find out from Gwen. I mean, I never told _anyone _else but it wasn't until after we slept together that I realised there was something I'd discovered about myself that was more than woman and numbers." His voice softened. "I met you and you changed my world completely. Suddenly I was seeing things in a whole new light and something I didn't even know I was aware of became the most important thing in my life." Jack paused, taking a shuddering breath. "You..."

When Ianto stayed silent, he continued. "Gwen kept on at me, badgering me to tell you. But I was ashamed, Ianto! I didn't want you to know how torn up I'd been, how screwed in the head I actually was back then."

"Once a cheat always a cheat." Ianto murmured the saying, though really, his heart wasn't completely in it. But Jack caught every word.

"If you really believed that why did you agree to stay with me? Why did you agree to the civil partnership?"

Jack paused again, more conscious than ever that Ianto wouldn't meet his eyes. "You'd better think carefully about how you answer this," he said quietly. "Because if you're about to tell me you went through with the CP still believing I was dishonest...or that I'd cheat on you, then I guarantee any chance we have of fixing this will be gone and I'll be out that door and you will _never_ see me _again_."

"Do you really think I'd do that?" Ianto cried. "I went through with it because I fucking _love_ you!"

Jack didn't see Ianto's hand move, but he heard the wood crack as Ianto's fist connected with the wardrobe. There was a short cry of pain, then Ianto was cradling his hand in the other and the red bruises blossoming along his knuckles stood out against his pale skin.

"We do nothing but go round and round in circles when we argue," Ianto said hopelessly. "It's always the same statements, the same words tossed around in different contexts...I want to work this out, not argue."

Jack took Ianto's injured hand in his, probing gently for deeper injury even as words continued to tumble from his mouth. "You love me...but you don't trust me, you probably never have."

Ianto raised his eyes and looked at Jack. "I do...I trust you...or I did...but then I heard something at work and it got me thinking." His eyes dropped again. "I mean, you must know Hart was in love with you."

Jack sighed heavily. "A long time ago, Ianto. And you know nothing came of it. He was never a threat. But it _was_ part of the reason I never told you about the meetings. I knew you'd get upset...or rather, I suspected you might. Despite the fact that he's like a brother to me, _only_ a brother to me, and he's a really close friend of ours, you've always been wary of him."

Ianto shook his head. "You could do so much better than me...and then I heard the girls in my office giggling about you and he having a _meeting._.. And, now that I know you hid _more_ meetings from me, am I really wrong to suspect that something happened?"

The American stared at the Welshman "Are you insane?" his voice was hoarse. "I asked _you_ to be my civil partner...I wanted to spend the rest of my life with _you_. And you think I'd go behind your back and risk some thing that means everything to me for a quick fuck in the office."

"I didn't want to believe it, but I had every reason to suspect," Ianto countered. "I came in and the clothes were screwed up all over the floor, and you were in your comfy clothes, we didn't talk, make love or anything else, and I was left wondering...worrying...knowing I wasn't enough for you…"

"Ianto Jones." Jack's voice was choked as he raised Ianto's injured hand which he still cradled and kissed each knuckle. "It was _I_ that never deserved _you_. But I_ love_ you. There were times when I didn't want you, God times when I _hated _you, but I _always_ loved you, always needed you. And you can't turn this round on me, we would have talked had you opened up to me. We could have made love, if you'd shown any sign of genuine interest. We could have had holidays, parties, celebrated our anniversary in style, gone to Paris or something. You could have come to Japan if you'd wanted."

"You hated me?" Ianto sounded defeated.

"Of all the things I just said, that's the one that sticks with you?"

Ianto raised his eyebrows. "Of all the things you said, isn't it the only one that matters? What's the point of having all the rest of them, if you hated me?"

Jack sighed. "I hated it...you...when you were accusing me, not that you've stopped that yet, but I kind of understand...I wish it _had _been me that told you about Tallulah. I was planning to, before we went ahead with the CP...I had it all worked out, then you confronted me about it, and we argued and talked then. I _believed_ that was the end of it. But no, it...was only the beginning wasn't it?"

Ianto couldn't answer. Didn't need to.

"I felt like I hated you when you were getting at me just before I left," Jack continued. "But I loved you, so, so much more than I hated you. And I still do. And I guess," Jack said, squaring his shoulders. "If we're really going to try to work this out, there's something else you should know."

Ianto raised his head and stared into Jack's eyes "What?" His eyes were wet, and Jack's own were red rimmed and glistening.

"They day after we decided to split and I went into work? You know..."

The Welshman nodded.

"Well, I was upset, Gwen came to see me."

Ianto groaned "And?"

"We kissed," Jack stated. "Once."

"Fuck...I can't even be angry because I did worse with Adam...but, Jack, if Rhys finds out, you're a dead man."

The American looked so guilty and upset, Ianto thought he might have already confessed to Rhys "Does he already know?"

"I hope so. When I was in Japan, I had a phone-call with Gwen. She said he scowled a bit, wanted to be sure that it never happened again, that it never would happen again. He's not treated me no different when I've seen him, but he knows me so well Ianto, Gwen's like my sister, it felt...horrible to be honest."

"Really?" The Welshman queried, raising an eyebrow.

Jack nodded. A tiny smile crept onto his mouth as the atmosphere between them finally began to lighten. "Lip gloss...and she's a wet kisser...Rhys might be all about the tongue...but..." Jack shuddered, drawing a shaky laugh from Ianto. "I dunno if it's because it's _Gwen,_ but I did however, request that she never let me kiss another girl again...Not that I want to."

Ianto nodded, wrapped his arm around Jack's waist and leaned his head on Jack's shoulder. Both men seemed to realise they were still in their state of undress at the same time. Laughing gently, Jack pushed Ianto away, but kept him in touching distance. "You need to put something on that," he noted. "I'll see what I can find."

The Welshman nodded and sat back against the bed, suddenly aware of the pain in his throbbing hand. A few moments later, Jack appeared with a bag of peas from the freezer. He picked up Ianto's hand again holding the peas against it. Seated next to Ianto he caught sight of the little piece of foil that had triggered their latest argument. Jack's brow creased as he remembered. Ianto hadn't denied sleeping with Adam, but he hadn't actually admitted it, either. Maybe he was just clinging to a forlorn hope but he had to know…Jack cleared his throat and nodded towards the packet

"Would we really have needed it?"

Ianto buried his head in Jack neck, tears falling down his cheeks. "I don't remember." he choked, crying quietly into Jack's shoulder. "I don't remember."


	30. Chapter 30

**AN- Hello! Sorry about the delay, it decided to be a pain. Hope you all enjoy it, I had fun writing it :)**

**This one decided to play nice, and I knew what I wanted to happen, but then my muse went on vacation and left me all alone...I managed to coax him back with cookies and milk and my housemates Mac 'n' Cheese :p**

**Thank you to all who've read/reviewed and alerted etc. It means a lot!**

**A MASSIVE thank you, to Quiet time, for her patience and support and suggestions, it makes my muse easier to work with XD**

**Off to Watch John Barrowman tomorrow, so maybe my muse will co-operate with the next few chapters.**

**Let me know what you think!**

Chapter 30 – I love you, but I leave you. Don't want you, but I need you.

The morning sun broke over Cardiff Bay on New Years day, lighting the room where Jack Harkness lay, his chest pillowing the head of Ianto Jones. Jack's eyes flickered open as the sunlight streamed through the open blinds, casting shadows over the room. He hadn't paid much attention to it the night before, but now, as his eyes adjusted to the light and he gazed around, he noted nothing much had changed. The clock ticked the time away exactly as it had done when he'd slept in this room last. Ianto's clothes still hung on the right hand side of the wardrobe, his black winter work coat hung on the hook on the back of the door. The picture from their Civil Partnership still hung on the wall. This was a different shot from the one Jack had seen at his house in the montage. This showed the signing of the register. A natural shot, taken not by the photographer, but by Owen. Jack was perched on the edge of the desk, facing Ianto, who was tapping his pen and smiling at Jack. He knew the pen was tapping, because it was a small blur on the image, but it didn't detract from the love radiating from them both.

Jack glanced down at the head pillowed on his chest and kissed the sleep mused hair. It was longer then when he'd last lain like this with Ianto...which he had to expect, because it had been at least a year since they'd last lain together like this- if you didn't count the 'don't leave' sex in July. In his sleep, Ianto snuffled closer and buried his head in the juncture where Jack's neck met his shoulder. The American smiled slightly and inhaled that 'Ianto' scent that had haunted him in his dreams. He cast his eyes over the sleeping figure and noted the now dry tear tracks on his cheeks.

_I don't remember._

Three stupid words. And not the normal ones either. As soon as they'd left Ianto's lips Jack's heart had exploded. He wasn't really sure what it meant. Had Ianto got totally wasted to the point were he couldn't remember, or was there something more sinister behind it...had Adam done something? There were lots of drugs that could put people in this situation.

"Bora da." the mumbled words broke Jack out of his thoughts and he smiled at the Welshman who was still sleepily stirring in his arms.

"Hey beautiful."

"Wasn't dreaming then?" the Welshman's voice drifted out, still sleep heavy and quiet, almost as though he was afraid to disturb the peaceful atmosphere that was, so far, lingering over the couple.

"No... I don't think so...if you are...it's a very pleasant dream...and it's going two ways."

Ianto's eyes opened, blinking drowsily. "I used to lie awake at night, when you were still living here, and wish you were in here with me."

"Me too,"Jack admitted. "It got worse once I'd moved out though...when I was in Japan, I was working such stupid hours that I'd just sleep and then work."

Ianto nodded his head against Jack's chest "I gathered..."

"Once you left the voicemail though, it became apart of my daily routine to listen to that, just so I could feel good about myself."

The Welshman smiled and cuddled closer "Oh? I make you feel good?"

"Mostly." Jack murmured and leaned over to catch Ianto's gaze. There was a sadness reflected in them. Something soul deep and heart rendering that made Jack realise, that even though it was Ianto's promotion that had instigated the problems between them, it had hurt them both in different ways. Very different ways. Jack had reacted to Ianto's prissy cleaning obsession and Ianto in turn reacted to what he thought was Jack pulling away because he was having an affair.

God he wished emotions weren't so complicated.

Jack remembered, in university, when he'd first met Ianto, he'd been talking to a stranger about his issue's and they'd said that it would be easier being in a relationship with another man, because they wouldn't have to talk about their feelings all the time. Thinking about it now, though, it was _harder_ if you didn't talk about your emotions. Because, apparently, you let your own imagination fill the gaps.

"You know..." Ianto murmured as he struggled to sit up properly. "going silent on a guy is never a good thing."

"You would know." Jack smiled. Thinking quickly he patted Ianto's thigh and rolled out of bed, "I need breakfast...go shower."

"You're a pain!" Ianto laughed as he threw the pillow at his ex.

Jack ducked, picked up the desolate pillow and glared at Ianto "This. Means. War."

Laughing, Ianto jumped up off the bed and grabbed another pillow, holding it like a shield before him. "Please Jack...please don't."

"Oh no! No begging is gonna get ya out of this one, Jonesy."

Ianto raised his eyebrows "You have to catch me first." he smirked then darted for the en-suite bathroom.

The American rolled his eyes as he heard the bathroom door lock shut and briefly contemplated picking the lock. He chuckled to himself as he pulled on his boxer-briefs and headed into the kitchen. He had someone he needed to go and see, but not yet. First, he could spend the morning pretending there wasn't a massive void between him and Ianto. It was only as he was whisking the eggs a few minutes later that he realised the void which had been present since Ianto's promotion, getting wider and wider with each passing day, was actually a _hell_ of a lot smaller today. Jack absently added the milk to the eggs as he pondered the situation, before giving the bacon a decisive flip and smiling to himself. Maybe this was a good sign after all.

There were few things in life that could shock Ianto Jones. Horror films could make him jump a mile if they were creepy enough and he'd rather not think about the times in University when Jack had jumped him for a laugh. But the sight that greeted him when he left the bedroom after his shower was enough to render him completely speechless. Jack Harkness. _The_ Jack Harkness who a few months ago would leave dishes to soak, sometimes forgetting to give them any water to soak in, had a washer load going, pots and pans put away, and was wiping down the surfaces as two plates of bacon and eggs steamed on the breakfast bar.

"Who are you?" Ianto asked as he walked forward and wrapped his arms around Jack's waist. "And what have you done with Jack Harkness?"

The American chuckled and turned in Ianto's arms. "Well you see. He was incredibly stupid and he made a few mistakes...but he learnt from them."

"He learnt how to clean?" Ianto asked.

"I always knew how to clean," Jack said indignantly. "I just wasn't a neat..."he trailed off not wanting to insult the Welshman.

"Neat freak?" Ianto laughed "You can say it, I was borderline OCD when you left, I'm sure of it."

The American nodded, still encircled in Ianto's arms. He sighed, reluctant to burst their little bubble, but knowing he had to if he wanted to avoid falling back into the patterns of the past. "Where does last night leave us?"

Ianto drew back and eyed Jack warily. "What do you mean?"

"I'm gonna grow ovaries, I swear. You'll think I'm a thirteen year old girl or something." They laughed together for a moment, but Jack's face soon drew back into serious lines. "But...last night, we made progress. We _talked.__H_ell, Ianto. I feel more like your partner now, than I have for that last year..."

The Welshman raised his hand and brushed Jack's fringe off his forehead as he contemplated his answer. He, too, could feel that connection with Jack again. Something that ran so deep it was indiscernible to even him, until it fractured. He leant in and pressed a butterfly kiss to the Americans cheek, then pulled back enough to brush his nose against Jacks, before rubbing them together in an affectionate action that was familiar to the both of them. Ianto smiled gently before covering Jack's lips with his and kissing him tenderly.

If Jack was into cliché's, he'd have sworn fireworks shot into the sky and violins began playing. Pulling back, they gazed into each others eyes, and Jack saw something he hadn't seen for so long. It made the smile on his face widen and he hugged the other man tightly.

"I don't think we can go back to the way we were..." Ianto murmured "not straight away, I mean. The separation will have changed us both, and we need to get to know each other again. But...I want to work it out, Jack." he brushed his hands against Jack's cheek and smiled "I love you."

"I love you too." the American responded, pressing a gentle kiss to the Welshman's lips before he spoke quietly "Maybe we should just go as we are for now. Take it slow. We can use London as a test."

"London?"

"Yeah," Jack tensed slightly. "I was gonna ask if you'd use that second ticket you got me for Wicked."

Ianto laughed. "I was kind of hopin you would. I'd love to. OK, then, London can be out test." he agreed "See how we cope for two days in each others presence...no breaks."

Jack's shoulders relaxed, he nodded once and pressed another kiss to the tip of Ianto's nose, then nudged Ianto with his hip and inclined his head at the table. "Let's eat."

"Yes, Sir." Ianto smirked. He pulled back and turned to the cutlery drawer and smiled as he pulled out the required items, feeling lighter than he had in months. The wrapper of the condom rustled in his pocket as he moved, and he smirked.

Heading over to the table, he lay the knives and forks on the table at the place mats and flicked a quick glance to check Jack wasn't watching before laying the condom on the coffee mat.

Ianto almost laughed out loud when Jack eyed it carefully, before he shoved it off the coaster and placed his coffee down and then picking up his knife and fork and digging into the food. Ianto eyed Jack carefully throughout the meal and caught his eye several times. Each time they would smile or shoot a wink at each other that was so familiar to the earlier years of their relationship. Fifteen minutes later, both plates were clear and Jack was draining the last of his coffee, before he rose and collected the plates, Ianto noted that Jack purposely brushed up against him when he bent to retrieve the plate Ianto had eaten off. He followed Jack into the kitchen and watched as he washed the plates and mugs before he turned to face the Welshman. Smirking, Ianto held up the condom he'd collected just before he followed Jack. This same foil wrapped condom had been the instigator for the talk the night before. Jack cautiously took it, holding it aloft between he and Ianto .

"And what, pray tell, am I expected to eat with this?"

Ianto just smirked wickedly as he winked, causing the American to throw back his head and laugh joyfully. "You're a bad, bad man, Jonesy."

"But..." Ianto grinned "I'm yours." he grabbed the lapels of Jack's shirt and pulled him into the bedroom.

* * *

Four hours later found Jack stood in front of a very familiar apartment. And it wasn't his own. He and Ianto had had a rather enjoyable morning...mainly cleaning and fucking, but still...enjoyable none the less. They'd agreed to try and make things work without rushing. So Jack wasn't moving back in...not yet anyway. He eyed the door for a moment and then sighed. He rapped his knuckles against it then waited impatiently for a response. Hearing shuffling from the inside he leaned against the wall and didn't even wait for an invitation inside before pushing past and stalking to the living room.

Adam Smith gulped as he followed. He'd only ever seen Jack this mad once before and he had never wanted to be on the end of it.

"What the _fuck_ did you think you were doing?" Jack snarled the moment Adam stepped into the room. "Did you spike his drink?"

Adam blinked. Ianto had told Jack. That much was obvious. And maybe he owed Jack an explanation, but he just wasn't sure he could pour his heart out to Ianto's husband...well, only husband by contract at the moment. "No, I didn't spike his drink."

"Really?" The American glared "So why the _fuck_ can he not remember? It's either you drugged him, he got pissed off his face...or you were that _crap_ in bed you weren't worth remembering. Going by the process of elimination – well, I've spoken to people who've slept with you, and apparently you aren't _that_ bad, which rules that out. Ianto doesn't _drink_ to that point, which means you _must _have spiked his drink!"

"Why would I do that?" Adam demanded, his temper flaring.

"Because you've wanted in his pants since University? Because he was vulnerable and you saw an opportunity? I don't know how your mind works!"

"Obviously," Adam snapped. "Look, I don't do drugs, and I wouldn't do that to Ianto...or anyone for that matter. You said it yourself. I've wanted him for so long, why would I risk making it any less of an experience by using drugs?"

The American shrugged. "Then _you_ tell me why he doesn't remember."

"He doesn't remember," Adam stated, anger draining away, "Because we never slept together."

Jack baulked. "So why the _fuck_ does he think you did?"

Adam shifted from foot to foot. "Because I made a joke the next morning, OK? We woke up together, in my bed and I wasn't a hundred percent sure what happened just then – wishful thinking no doubt. Cause you're right of course , I _have_ wanted Ianto for a long time, and I thought…You and I both know he doesn't take sex lightly. I guess I hoped that, if he thought we'd already done it then maybe he'd give me a chance. Give us a chance. But he freaked, bolted out the house before his pants were on properly and he's been avoiding me ever since."

Jack glowered at him. "You're a right bastard you know? And a selfish one at that."

"I love him Jack, surely you know what that's like? Or you used to."

Jack glared at him "Yes, I do. But I don't go round trying to brainwash people, _especially_ not people I love."

Adam turned away, looking so devastated Jack couldn't help a twinge of sympathy.

"Adam, you _don't_ love him," Jack said insistently. "You have an obsession with sleeping with him. That's desire, lust…but it's not love."

"I'd be so much better for him than you are." Adam snarled "_I_ wouldn't leave him at the first sign of trouble."

"Don't you _presume _to know me! Yes, I left, but it wasn't the _first_ sign of trouble. We both made mistakes Adam. And you'd better come clean pretty damn fast to Ianto about yours before _I_ tell him."

"You wouldn't." Adam gaped.

"Oh really?" Jack raised an eyebrow "Do you wanna test me on that? Do you _really_ think that I'd mind if Ianto never spoke to you again! I mean for Christ sakes Adam! We were eighteen years old when he chose me over you. Why are you still persisting if you can see he's happy!"

Adam glared at him. "He hasn't been particularly happy recently, has he? I thought...I dunno, maybe I could cheer him up. I mean, he's never given me a chance...the day you two announced you were _together_ was the day I'd just got up the nerve to ask him out..."

"Twelve years ago," Jack reminded him. "And how the hell do you justify cheering him up by getting him drunk and lying to him? Come clean now, and you might at least have a shot at keeping his friendship."

Adam's shoulders slumped in defeat. "I dunno," he mumbled. "How do I tell him I made a joke he took the wrong way? How do I get over him?"

The American sighed, and ran harried fingers through his hair. He did feel for Adam, but this _had_ to stop. Twelve years of a crush was _far_ too long. "You tell him everything you just told me!" Jack jabbed a finger in Adams face. "Don't leave anything out. If Ianto and I are gonna make a proper go of things, every single piece of doubt needs to be gone. You included." Jack snarled before walking out the flat and slamming the door behind him.


	31. Chapter 31

**AN- Hey! So, I've taken on the Nano Wrimo challenge...which is taking up most of my time this month...that and Uni work! Lol! Sorry this one has taken so long, but I couldn't get it to behave!**

**The song in the letter is Barry Manilow's 'Ready to take a chance on you.' I don't own it, at all. The word 'he' in brackets is normally a 'she' but Jack and Ianto are not female :p**

**Special thanks to Quiet Time for her encouragement. Also, as odd as it may seem, to John Barrowman, for entertaining me beyond all belief last night, also to Scott Gill for not being afraid to get up in front of 6000 people and sing Rhinestone Cowboy with John XD**

**Massive THANK YOU to everyone who's reviewed so far, more soon!**

Chapter 31- Every time you smile, angels cry.

It occurred to Jack, on his walk back from Adam's flat to his own, that he had never really acknowledged the song that Ianto had performed at Gwen and Rhys's party. And, awkward as it had felt at the time, the song _had _led them to were they were now. Comfortable in each others presence again, without having to constantly talk to fill the silence. They could just be in the same room and it felt good.

Deciding he needed to give back something to Ianto, Jack found himself browsing music and wondering just what message he wanted to send to the Welshman. 'I love you' was typically clichéd and 'I want you' was just as bad. He eyed his CD collection carefully, debating not just song choice, but how to deliver it. The expected response would be to record the song, with him singing. However, Jack didn't want to do the expected thing, and he knew Ianto _adored_ handwritten letters. The pieces fell into place and Jack nodded decisively at his CDs. He knew what he was going to do.

* * *

Adam Smith walked quietly and slowly up to the apartment block. It was later on New Years Day and he had finally got up the courage to go and face Ianto. His initial reaction was to ignore the situation and hope that Ianto would forget about it. But, just after Jack left, Adam realised that there was no doubt that Jack would follow through on his threat to tell Ianto himself, Jack might have his idiot moments, but the American had _never_ lied to Ianto; kept things from him, maybe, but never lied. If Adam didn't say something, Jack would and Adam couldn't have that...nope, certainly not.

He got to the door and raised his hand above the buzzer, searching for the courage to press. After a steadying breath, he pressed firmly. A few seconds later, Ianto's voice came out the tiny speaker. "Hello?"

"It's Adam."

"Oh..."

"I need to talk to you."

"Come on up." Ianto's voice was reluctant and quiet. The door buzzed open and Adam let himself through before pushing the button for the lift, to take him up to Ianto's flat. When he arrived a few minutes later Ianto was already at the door, leaning against the frame. His white t-shirt clung delicately to him and the black long sleeved shirt hung open.

"Hi." Adam said, shifting nervously on his feet.

Ianto nodded. "What do you need to talk about?" he asked.

"We didn't have sex." Adam blurted out

The dumbfounded look on Ianto's face nearly made Adam laugh, but he knew what a mistake that would be. Ianto had already punched him once; he wasn't going to risk another. So he bit his lip and waited. The cold fury that flew through Ianto's eyes was enough to make Adam shiver.

"Why?" when the word _finally_ made it's way out of Ianto's mouth, it was spat out, his eyes blazing and shoulders tense.

"Because, I hoped, if you thought we'd already had sex then you'd at least give me a shot." the words were whispered. "Give _us_ a shot."

The shock - and relief - of the words Adam whispered were almost enough to make Ianto calm down...almost. Until the relief gave way to anger. "You thought _what_? You conned me, played me? Lied to me 'cause I couldn't remember? Was it good? Being on some kind of mind game power trip?"

"No...it wasn't like that! It wasn't a _lie!_ I just didn't tell you the whole truth! I hoped it would be the truth though...in the long run."

"For gods sake Adam! I _knew_ how you felt in university, but I've spent the past ten years in a happy relationship with Jack! I thought you'd gotten _over_ it. I spent so long trying to reassure Jack that nothing was ever going to happen...he never fully believed me. I thought it was me he didn't trust, but maybe it was you he was worried about – and he was right!"

Adam flinched, but wisely stayed quiet.

"And not telling me the while truth, is still a _li_e _by _omission! It's still just a bad deception...still left me hurt."

Adam sighed. "Yeah, I know."

Ianto blinked, "What do you mean? I haven't spoken to you since…"

"Jack came to see me earlier,"Adam admitted. "Told me to come and tell you the truth, or he would."

Adam's injured expression irked Ianto. As if he expected Ianto to defend_ him_ against Jack, "He was well within his rights to be fair." Ianto pointed out.

"What?" Adam blinked.

"Well, we never actually got a dissolution. I'm still his partner, husband. Whatever you want to call it, it's still there. And we agreed to work things out, so I'm hardly going to hold it over his head for coming and making you tell me the truth."

Adam nodded and sat there with his head down. Ianto had never been quite so blunt before. So harsh. But the truth was in Ianto's words now, and Adam accepted that he had to move on. Even he knew that twelve years of hoping was a bit too much.

"Please leave." Ianto murmured.

Adam looked up. "I'd hoped we could…."

Ianto shook his head sharply. "I can't even look at you right now."

As the words left the Welshman, Adam realised that if he didn't leave, he'd be thrown out. He rose to his feet and left quickly. He didn't see Ianto slump onto the sofa with tears running down his face.

* * *

Jack's phone flashed alarmingly at him from the tabletop, telling him it was still on silent and someone was ringing him. He picked it up and gazed at the caller identification. 'Ianto'.

"Hey." Jack answered. The shaky breath on the other end of the phone worried him. He closed his eyes and inhaled. "Ianto...you okay?"

There was more shaky breathing. Jack was just about to hang up and go back round to the Welshman's when he spoke. "_Adam __came __over...he __told__ me__ everything.__"_

Jack nodded at the phone. "And you're angry at me for going to see him?" He flinched on the inside at the possibility. Maybe next time he'd say nothing.

"_No,__ thank __you __actually. __I'm__ glad __you __did.__"_

The American sighed with relief. "Oh...okay."

"_Yeah,__ it's__ just...no __one's __ever __messed __with __my__ mind __like __that...I __just,__ I __needed __to__ hear __your __voice, __make __sure __nothing __had __changed.__" _

Jack shook his head. "No, nothing darling." It wasn't an endearment they often used. Jack only ever used 'darling' when he was trying to be reassuring. But it helped to calm Ianto when he was really upset. As he obviously was now.

"_That's __good.__I__ wouldn't__ be__ able __to __cope __if __something __he__ did __came __between __us...I __mean,__when __we__ were __just __starting __out, __he __caused__ a __few __issue's...__" _he sighed. "_God._.._I __wouldn't__ have __minded __if __he'd__ have__ told __me__ straight __away...I __knew__ he __liked __me__ Jack,__ I__ didn't __realise __it __was __borderline __obsession...makes __me __wonder __how__ he __interpreted __that __meal __we __went __on...you __know, __the __one __Tosh __set-up__? __I __mean...for __gods __sake...it's __like __he __got __off __on __a __power __trip, __by __controlling __my __mind...__" _

"Try not to think too much on it..."

"_I__ know...it's __just. __It's __one __thing __to__ lie __outright, __but __somehow, __it __hurts __even __more __for __him__ to __have __lied __by __omission...He__ didn't __correct __me __when __I __made __the __assumption __then __he __hid __it __from__ me...Makes __me __wonder __what__ else __he__'__s __hiding __from __me._"

"Does that scare you?" Jack asked, although he knew the answer.

"_Yeah...I __just...fuck__ Jack.__" _Ianto laughed shakily._ "__You're __not__ hiding __anything __from__ me __are __you?_"

"No..." Jack murmured. "No, of course not." He wasn't hiding anything if nothing was decided yet, was he? He hadn't even seen a copy of the contract for that job in London; the job offer might fall though.

"_Okay,__good. __So,__how's __**your **__day__ been?_"

"Not too bad, went and had words with Smith and then came home and started cleaning...I need to go shopping before the 5th, don't let me forget."

"_Is __t__hat __when __you're __back __at __work?_"

"Yeah...work...God that place is a circle of hell at the moment."

"_Hmm_," Ianto chuckled slightly "_Least__ the __devil __isn't __your __boss._"

"This is true."

"_Right,_" Ianto sighed. "_I__ need __to __go __and__ clean-up__...Thanks,__ Jack. __I__ feel __loads __better._"

"I'm glad, keep safe."

"_You__ too, __I __love__ you._"

"Love you too." Jack smiled, the words out before he could stop them. He hung up the phone and stared at it, then sighed. He sighed and leaned back. Seconds later his eyes snapped open in panic...how the _hell_ was he going to tell Ianto about the promotion...better yet..._when_ should he tell him? Common sense told him to pick up the phone and dial him right back...but something held him back... he _did_ want to tell Ianto. He'd thought about telling him when they were in London for Wicked. But..was he hurting Ianto now by not telling him? It wasn't like Ianto had asked...but then, no one had, because it had come out of the blue...but...Ianto had a right to know, especially if they were going to work at the marriage.

Jack reached for his phone and pulled up Ianto's number, ready to hit dial...but something made him close his eyes and press cancel before he pushed it to the back of his mind. He just didn't know what.

* * *

It was around three days later when a handwritten letter arrived in Ianto's mail. He stared at it for a few moments, trying to identify the fancy calligraphy that his address was written in. The only person he knew whose handwriting was that pretty, was Jack. But why would Jack be sending him a handwritten letter?

In the flat, Ianto dumped his bags on the couch and turned his full attention to the letter (not that it had drifted much). He opened it carefully, wanting to keep the envelope if held something special. Inside, was a single, A4 folded piece of paper. Nothing amazing there, and no clue. Gently, he removed the paper from the envelope and opened it out. His smile widened when he saw who the letter was from, but also, what was written.

_Ianto, _

_As much as I love to sing, I figure you handled that half of the bargain. But, I wanted to give you something, to let you know that, yes, I do love you, and I don't want to 'write you off' just yet. I wanted to acknowledge what you had done, because it was special, and even though I was angry at the time, it got us were we are right now. The song below, is by Barry Manilow (you know I love his music) but I thought the lyrics were particularly poignant for us at the moment. I love you, I know the words are clichéd and meaningless these days...but it doesn't make them any less true. So, next time we're near a Karaoke machine, remind me to dedicate this to you...I hope you like it. _

_Forever and always- to the end of the universe and back._

_You remind me I live in a shell, safe from the past and doing' okay,but not very well. No jolts, no surprises, no crisis arises: My life goes along as it should. It's all very nice...but not very good. _

_And I'm ready to take a chance again, ready to put my love on the line with you. Been living with nothing to show for it; you get what you get when you go for it...And I'm ready to take a chance again with you. _

_When (he) left me in all my despair,I just held on...My hopes were all gone. Then I found you there. _

_And I'm ready to take a chance again...ready to take a chance again with you...with you. _

_Jack._


End file.
